“You shouldn’t have come,” I whisper, rubbing my arms to try to heat up my flesh that’s gone cold.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t?” He notices I’m cold and begins rubbing my arms for me, and though his hands are icicles themselves, they do offer a sense of warmth and comfort.
I don’t know what I expected. But did I think Christopher would be able to track me down? Did I ever think I’d see him again?
No. Never in a million years.
“When the snow stops, we’re getting out of here,” he says.
I shake my head. “It’s not that easy.”
“It is. I have a satellite phone and a pilot on standby.”
“Christopher… there’s something you need to know.” I want to throw up, and I sit down on my pallet of wool blankets, because if I don’t sit, I’m afraid I’ll collapse.
He sits down beside me, wraps his arm around my shoulders, and pulls me closer to his body. “We have shit to work out. But we can handle everything once we’re in a safe place.”
“When I left with Papa Rich and Scarecrow, I never thought I’d see you again,” I begin.
“I’m your husband, Ember. I’m not going to just let you walk away that easily.”
“But we aren’t married. Not really. Your mother was right when she said that.”
“Fuck my mother,” he snaps. “I know what she did to you. I was fucking blind, and I should have paid closer attention, and for that I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry you went through all of that alone.”
I look up into his eyes. “You know about your mother finding Papa Rich?”
He nods as his jaw stiffens. “I know about everything. She was cruel to you, tried to fuck with your head and attempted to make you feel you were losing your mind. And though I’ll never forgive her for what she did, I’m angrier with myself. I was so wrapped up in trying to get my life back. I wanted so desperately to have my normal to return. I kept telling myself that it was so I could care and provide for you, but that was total bullshit. I was being selfish and not focusing on you. I don’t blame you one bit for leaving. I would have run for the hills too.” He smirks and looks out the window at the falling snow. “Which you literally did.”
“You were trying your best,” I say. “And you deserved to have your life back. You had every right to want normal.” I release a deep breath I’ve been holding. “Your mother told me that I was holding you captive. That I was just as guilty as Papa Rich in kidnapping you—”
“My mother is a selfish bitch. What she’s done to you is criminal,” he interrupts, his face reddening.
“But she was right in many ways. I was holding you captive. You didn’t choose to marry me. It wasn’t fair to expect you to remain married and take care of a woman and a situation you were forced into. You deserved better.”
“I chose to stay with you,” he growls. “Yes, our situation is not ideal. This isn’t how I saw my life going, but regardless, the minute we left Hallelujah Junction, I knew I was committed to you. My wife. The woman I love.” He reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly. “And I still feel that way. I don’t want you gone. I don’t want us apart. I don’t want my old life without you in it. I want you, Ember. I need you to understand that.”
“But it’s asking a lot. It’s not fair to you. You should have been able to go back to your career without a worry in the world.”
He nods again. “But it should have been something we did together. I was insensitive. I put me first. I know this, and I plan to fix it if you’ll allow me to. I want us to leave here and start over. I want to be the husband you deserve.”
Something is gripping my heart so tightly that I can barely breathe. I push myself away from Christopher and scurry a few feet away so I can have some room. I want to bury my nose in his chest and never face reality, but I also know I can’t.
“I married Scarecrow,” I blurt out.
I refuse to look at Christopher after I spit out the words, but I can hear his intake of breath.
“I don’t understand.”
I steal a glance at him and see the stunned confusion washed all over his face. I’m so ashamed for what I’ve done, how we got to this place, and for what’s still ahead of me in the future. As happy as I am to see him again, I’m also devastated he has to see me in this light.
My true light.
“Papa Rich made me. He said that what happened between you and me was a mistake. That the devil made it happen, but that me marrying Scarecrow would correct the sin.”
“This is insane.”
“I didn’t know what to do. I was so scared of what Papa Rich would do to me for burning down Hallelujah Junction. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, and… I left you. I left any chance, any hope, for a different life. My reality was right here.” I point around. “This is my life. It’s what my life has always been and what it will always be.”
Christopher shoots up from sitting before me and towers over me. His eyes darken, and his entire presence morphs from a man offering me salvation to a man full of fury. “There is no way in hell I’m going to stand by and allow you to remain with that man. They are fucking lunatics who both deserve to be locked up for life. I don’t care what they told you or what they forced you to do; there is no fucking way you’re married to Scarecrow! Do you hear me?” His entire presence morphs to an almost beast-like creature. “I’ll burn the fucking world down to keep you safe and next to me, starting with this place.”
The sound of his booming voice rattles the rotting rafters above and dust speckles its way down on us.
“Ember?” I hear Holly call across the room. “Why don’t you and Christopher come over here and join us by the fire? He’s soaking wet, and it’s cold.”
“Did he fucking touch you? Did he… did he make you his wife?”
I shake my head vigorously, knowing exactly what he’s asking. “He didn’t consummate the marriage yet. He said he would when he returns.” I swallow hard. “I haven’t had sex with him.”
He inhales deeply and appears relieved. He then looks out the window again. “We need to get out of here. Now.”
“There’s a blizzard coming,” I say calmly. “We won’t make it down the mountain. We may not be able to for days.”
And that’s if I go with him, which I can’t see how it’s truly possible.
He runs his hands through his hair and lets out a deep sigh.
“Ember,” Holly calls out again. “Come sit by the fire and warm Christopher up until the stew is ready.”
She’s not going to give up, but she’s skilled in knowing how to tame the beasts. She’s had plenty of practice with Scarecrow.
“We should get you out of those wet clothes,” I offer, knowing we need a break from all this for at least a moment.
I do.
I need to breathe. I need to focus. I need to stop the ringing in my ears.
He nods, but I can see he isn’t happy.
I don’t blame him.
I’m not happy either. But the difference between him and me is that happiness can be in his future. Not mine. I simply need to get him to face that hard fact.