"I couldn't say accurately," I admitted. "Too fucking often. But it must be at least twenty-four hours since the last dose. Or longer. Time was... fluid."
Maria made a sound under her breath, and the expression on her face said she'd like to get her own hands on my captor.
"That's good," Doc murmured. "You don't seem to be withdrawing too badly, but the next few days might be a bit rough. Time will tell."
It wasn't anything I hadn't mentally prepared for starting from the first moment Chase injected me. "I'll be fine," I assured him. "Nothing I haven't done before."
It was only the PCP and GHB that would give me a nasty drying out period, anyway. And I suspected I'd suffered through a bit of that while feverish from my infection. Small wins.
Doc grimaced. "Well, it's going to be a slow recovery anyway. We're talking weeks, not days."
I gritted my teeth but didn't argue with him. It was pointless when he was simply giving me an expert opinion. I could have that argument with my own body after he was gone.
"We'll make sure Lucas is up to speed with all the medications and care instructions," Doc continued. "He impressed me with his work before I got here; I think you'll be in good hands."
That comment made me crack a smile as the two of them packed up the last of their things and made for the door. Maria paused after her husband left and gave me a long look.
"Do you want me to send these boys in to sit with you?"
I thought about her question for a moment, closing my tired eyes. Then I shook my head. "No. I just need to be alone."
Maria gave a small sigh. "No, you don't. But I'll tell them to give you space for now. Call me any time, Hades. Or Nadia, even. We're here for you."
That statement almost brought me to tears, and I bit down hard on my cheek to hold them inside. I just gave her a small, brittle smile of acknowledgement and sank back into my pillows as she left the room.
The door clicked shut, and I counted to one hundred inside my head, waiting for the door to open again. Only after reaching one hundred did I let the tension seep out of my body and the breath rush out of my lungs.
Then, only then, did I let myself fall to pieces.
I'd held so damn strong, stoic, and calm for the entire time Doc and Maria had been here, but I had nothing left. My walls turned to dust, and a silent scream wracked my chest. When the tears finally rolled free, I knew there would be no stopping them. So as carefully as I could, I curled into a ball and sobbed into my pillow, letting the emotions flow. But I stayed silent. Always silent and alone.
But I wasn't alone. Just when I felt like my soul was shredded beyond repair and my mind splinted like a broken mirror, the muffled sound of voices cut through my agony.
Cass and Lucas... and Zed. They were in a heated argument outside my room, but they were here. I wasn't alone. I'd never truly be alone again, and that knowledge calmed me enough to finally sleep.
7
"You didn't think you could escape me that easily, did you, Darling?" Chase's cruel words taunted me, mocking as I jerked awake. I was back in his cell. It was all just a goddamn delusion. All of it.
Tears pricked at my eyes, but I swallowed them back. It'd been the most real one yet, and I was struggling to separate reality from fiction. Even now, with Chase's leering, eye-patched face hovering over me, I could still feel the warmth of the blankets. The softness of the pillows.
"Ready to play?" my psychotic captor asked rhetorically. He grabbed a handful of my hair, using it to pull me upright out of the bed, and dragged me across to the deep bucket of water he'd prepared.
I struggled against his hold, clawing at his hand to try and loosen his grip, but I knew it was pointless. It was always pointless. Nothing I did would stop him when he had set his mind to something. Especially this.
"Deep breath in, my sweet," he purred, forcing me to my knees in front of the water. I did as I was told, having learned the hard way that I wouldn't get another chance. A moment later, my face was covered in a cloth bag.
I stole one more quick breath, then my head was forced down into the bucket of water. Chase's grip on the back of my neck was like steel, totally unrelenting as the cloth of the bag soaked through and my lungs burned. As always, I counted in my head, but it was never the same length of time that he held me under.
Right as panic flooded through me and my body screamed at me to take a breath, he hauled me back up, and I reached out blindly to steady myself. It was impossible to draw a full breath, though. The saturated fabric stuck to my face like a second skin, suffocating me as he kicked my legs apart and knelt behind me.
"That's it," he purred as I choked and gasped, desperately trying to get enough oxygen before he pushed me back down again. "Beautiful."
I jerked away as his hand smoothed down my back, aware of what was coming next.
But all of a sudden his hand was back on my shoulder, shaking me. What the fuck was he doing now? Whatever, it didn't matter. If it delayed him pushing my face back into the water for even a moment, I'd take it.
He shook me harder, his words muffled by the rushing in my ears. Oxygen deprivation. I'd probably pass out soon, and he'd finish himself in my unconscious body.
He slapped my face, his warm palm striking my wet cheek with an audible smack, nowhere near as hard as he usually hit me. But. Wait. His palm struck my face. How? There was a wet bag over my head.
Wasn't there?
"Hayden!" the voice shouted, shaking my shoulder again. That wasn't Chase. Chase had never in his life called me Hayden.
Forcing my way through the mental minefield, I pried my eyelids open and locked eyes with Lucas.
Lucas.
Not Chase.
"Hey, hi," he breathed, stroking my clammy hair away from my face with gentle fingers. "I'm here, babe. I'm here. It was just a dream. You're safe."
My heart was still racing with fear, sweat coated my skin, and I needed to swallow a couple of times as his words sank in. I was safe. It'd been a dream.
"Just a dream," I whispered in a scratchy voice. If only that were the truth.
"We good?" Cass rumbled, and I twisted my head to find him hovering at the other side of the bed, his tough face etched with worry. Behind him, another figure lurked in the open doorway, and my mouth went dry as Zed met my gaze.
For a moment, I froze. For a moment, all I felt when I looked at him was sheer relief. Like my heart was whole again.
But all too quickly, the memory of his betrayal resurfaced in my damaged mind, and I flicked my gaze away from him. From the corner of my eye, I caught the way his shoulders drooped. He took it as the dismissal I'd intended it to be and disappeared once more.
"Yeah," I answered Cass's question finally. "Yeah. Just... just a dream." Or a memory. Whatever.
Cass held my eyes, searching, then scrubbed a hand over his face. "Want me to punch Gumdrop for you, Red?" I blinked at him in confusion, but he just arched a brow back at me. "He slapped you, Angel. You look as weak as a kitten right now, but I'm more than happy to act as your fist."
My lips rounded in surprise, and I flicked my gaze back to Lucas. Now that Cass had said it, my cheek was a bit warm.