I drop to the ground, pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around my legs as I stare out at the ocean. The sun is busy making it’s final descent for the day, casting the water in a bright orange hue.
I sit there for the longest time, reminiscing on how different life could have been if Richard Fletcher was never a part of my life. Hell, if my own father accepted what I told him and helped me instead of brushing it under the rug in favor of helping his friend.
If just one thing happened differently, then maybe I wouldn’t be here now with two men’s lives hanging in the balance.
If only I would’ve told Mom instead. Coach maybe. Anyone other than him. Maybe it would have been dealt with years ago. Maybe Mom would have grown some balls and left that prick sooner, maybe Peyton and Luca never would have been hurt the way there were.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe…
I blow out a long breath and all the possibilities flutter around in my head.
All of this is my fault. If I weren’t so fucking scared then I might just have saved everyone a lot of pain and heartache.
Could I have saved Macie though?
I shake my head, not wanting to have her factor in all of this, but I can’t help it.
Somehow in only a matter of days, she managed to achieve something that no one else ever has. Letty’s got close over the years, but both of us have always known that we were always destined to be friends. But Macie managed to get herself under my skin almost from that very first moment I looked into her eyes.
I thought it was because I had been searching for her for so long. But after the two weeks we spent together and how empty I feel now after only two days without her, I’m really starting to wonder.
My fists clench as I allow myself to admit for the first time just how badly I need her, how much easier she’d make all of this right now.
“FUUUUCK,” I shout into the silence around me.
This wasn’t how it was meant to go. I wasn’t meant to… want her.
I’m meant to hate her.
I do hate her.
But also I… Fuck, I need her.
Agonising minutes pass as I sit there convincing myself that going to her dorm is a really fucking bad idea until my cell pings in my pocket.
Colt: Hot redhead at basketball party. Get your ass here.
In the past, that kind of a message would get him the result he’s after. But the thought of being with any readhead that isn’t her is suddenly less than appealing. Although, admittedly, it’s probably what I need. Some nameless, faceless woman to take it all out on. From behind, she could be Macie.
My cock stirs at the thought of taking her from behind, of her full ass, the smooth, pale skin of her back and her thick red hair wrapped around my fist as I fuck her until I lose some of this fucking tension.
Leon: She’s all yours tonight, man.
I let out a sigh knowing that I made the right decision, even if my body isn’t onboard.
Colt: Not tonight. I’ve got my eyes on a spitfire.
Leon: Leave Ella alone.
I can’t help but laugh at the way he follows her around like a puppy yet claims not to want her.
Colt: No can do, man. You can’t see what she’s wearing.
He must sense that I’m about to give up and put my cell away because he starts typing again.
Colt: I miss my wingman. Come on, bro. Come get fucked up with me.
I stare at his words, the need for the sweet oblivion that could come from meeting up with him and doing exactly as he says becomes too hard to deny.
Leon: On my way. Get the drinks ready.
Colt: Yes, bro!
Without looking back at my surroundings, I push through the undergrowth and back toward the parking lot.
It takes me ages to get out of town but when I finally do, I breathe a sigh of relief, my mouth watering for a taste of the strongest alcohol Colt can find me.
I’m almost in Maddison when he sends me his location and I drive straight to the house, not bothering to change. I really don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of the state of me. I’m not here for them, I’m here just to get fucking lost.
It’s what I’m good at. It’s what I know.
The party is in full swing as I sit behind the wheel of my car watching the students fool around in the front yard. Someone has a hold of the hose and is spraying everyone in sight.
Their shrieks and laughter filter down to me and I wonder just how it might feel, to be that carefree and enjoy yourself without the constant darkness trying to consume you whole.
When my thoughts begin to piss me off, I push the door open and climb out walking up toward the house while glaring at the guy with the hose to ensure he knows what a bad fucking idea it would be to direct it at me.
I’m halfway up the yard when the front door opens and the one person I wasn’t expecting bursts out with her hand in another’s.
She’s drunk, that much is obvious the second my eyes take her in.
My fists curl both knowing how much she hates being out of control but also at the fact that someone else is touching her when she’s wearing…
Fuck me.
The silver dress is wrapped around her body like a second skin. It’s short, almost too short, and low-cut, showing off her impressive cleavage.
My cock immediately hardens at the sight of her as images of bending her over in that dress slam into me.
No fucking way is that motherfucker getting anywhere near her.
I don’t even register who he is, it could be Luc or Kane for all I know. My entire focus is on Macie as I fly toward them.
Her scream filters through my red haze as I pull my arm back but it doesn’t stop me throwing my fist into the prick's face.
“Leon,” she screams, her tiny hands wrapping around my upper arm in a pathetic attempt to restrain me while the guy goes stumbling back against the wall.
It’s not until I’ve got him pinned up against the wall by his throat that I realize who he is.
Nathan.
A little bit of guilt flickers through me knowing that Macie sees him as her only friend but it's not enough to make me stop.
“Don’t fucking touch her,” I bark, swinging again and this time connecting with his nose with a satisfying crunch.
“Stop please, Leon. Please,” she cries behind me, her voice rough with emotion and slurred with the alcohol she’s consumed.
Leaning in close to Nathan, I watch as the blood pours from his nose as the front door opens behind us.
I know who it is before he even opens his mouth.
“Leon, let him go.”
“If you fucking touch her again, I’ll kill you. You got that, bro?”
“I-I,” he stutters before spitting blood at my feet. “Only one of us has hurt her, bro, and it’s not fucking me.”
His palms slam down on my chest and I make it easy on him and stand back.
He might be taller than me but I’ve got at least twenty pounds on him and could take him to the floor in a heartbeat if I wanted to.
Macie immediately rushes toward him, concern glittering in her watery eyes.
I keep my eyes on him, and he knows it.
“I’m fine,” he says, dodging her attempts to touch him.