“So, what do you say?” Raven asked.
“What do I say to what?”
“You get that stick out of your ass and you give Smokey a chance?” Raven held out some money. Ava took it and counted out the change, wondering if Smokey had asked Raven to approach her.
“You were married, right? Bad husband and all that deal.”
“Forgive my friend. She is usually much better at being tactful,” Abriana said.
“Oh, please, I’m not. This is who I am.”
“Well, it was nice to meet you both,” Ava said.
“Come on. Her husband was a grade-A asshole. You heard it,” Raven said. “I bet the asshole never considered her, even in the bedroom.”
“Raven, we’re not talking about this.”
The two women left the shop, and Ava stood at her counter, confused. There wasn’t even a lunch rush yet and already, she felt exhausted.
Men.
They were … confusing.
Smokey was strange. What exactly did he want from her? It wasn’t like he was giving her a whole list of things he wanted.
She rubbed at her temple.
The lunch rush took it right out of her. Fortunately, she had another sold-out day. She cleaned, put everything away, and left her shop. She made sure to lock it up tight. Now she got to enjoy a couple of days of experimenting, maybe put her feet up, enjoy some hot cocoa or a good book. She hadn’t decided yet which one she wanted to do. Either option was fun for her.
She climbed into her car, but rather than start the engine, she sat back and thought.
Raven was right. Her ex had never been great in bed. Their sex life had consisted of missionary position until he found his release, and she was always left wanting. For five years, that was her married sex life. Then one day out of the blue, she picked up a book, and from start to end, it was pure sex. Hot, undeniable, no-holds-barred sex. The kind of sex she thought about but figured didn’t exist.
Then some searches helped her to discover there was a whole load of people out there enjoying lots of good sex. She just wasn’t one of them. Would never be one of them.
After her research, she tried to get Derek to do more. She’d bought sexy lingerie. Toys. Spent lots of time practicing how to approach. One night, when she did, it was like Derek realized she wasn’t an idiot anymore.
He’d gotten mean. Cruel even. Telling her the reason he only did missionary. How he couldn’t stand to see her naked. The sight of her sickened him.
“Stop it, Ava. You’re a beautiful, kind, woman. No man has this power over you.” Still, the tears welled up. She pressed her lips together to calm herself.
The traitors fell. She refused to cry because of Derek. He shouldn’t have any more power over her. She wouldn’t let him. Yet, here she sat in her car. Emotional.
Smokey had offered her a chance, and he’d shut her down.
Frowning, she put the key into the ignition, fired her machine up, and took off. She remembered the route from the previous night, and it didn’t take her too long to get there. She’d pushed her foot to the gas, and now, as she arrived, her heart pounded. Rather than stop, she kept on going.
She parked the car, climbed out, and walked toward the main door.
One of the guys she remembered from her shop sat at the bar, rubbing at his head.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m looking for Smokey. Do you know where I can find him?”
The guy looked up. “Oh, it’s you. He’s in his office.” He waved her off.
She followed his direction and without thinking about what was going to happen, she stepped into Smokey’s office.
Ava had expected him to already have a woman screwing him. He sat in his office, hunched over the table, reading.
When the door closed, he looked up. “Ava,” he said.
She held her hand out. After closing the door and locking it, she turned back toward him. “I need you to sit right there. You’re not going to do anything.” She dropped her bag to the floor. “I’m thirty years old. I got married at twenty. I knew Derek since I was eighteen. He was my one and only boyfriend. For a good portion of our marriage, I didn’t realize sex could be had without the light on, or that we could do it any other way than with me on my back.”
She began to remove her jacket. Her hands shook. “Of course, I found out you can do a lot more. I tried to spice things up with Derek. I did. I was bored. I hated sex. I hated the way he got on, did his thing, and then I was left with nothing. We didn’t even cuddle, let alone kiss.”
She got to her shirt and pulled it over her head. “However, when I tried to spice it up, he told me how ugly I was. How loathsome. That he loved me, but he didn’t find me attractive. He couldn’t stand my big tits, jelly legs, slobby stomach, and disgusting hips. He had a lot more inventive, colorful names for my body.” She stripped down until she stood before Smokey in her black lace lingerie.
It was beautiful. The model who’d worn it enhanced the colors, and she’d wanted it. Ordered it that night.
“I … I don’t know what I’m doing. The sex I’m accustomed to is for me to lie down and wait for it to be over. I don’t know what real arousal is unless I’m watching some kind of porn or reading a book.” Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t think I’ve experienced a real orgasm. I think I’ve enjoyed a release, but not an orgasm.”
She pressed her lips together, counted to ten as he still sat there, saying nothing. “I moved here to start over. To not have my ex dominate everything, but here I am, pushing you away because of that. I don’t know if I can be what you need. Not after what I saw last night. This is all I am. If you don’t find me attractive, tell me now.”
Smokey put his pen down and leaned back in his chair. “Turn around.”
“What?”
“Turn around.”
She clenched her hands into fists but did as he asked, turning for him to see every single part of her.
This is not embarrassing.
You’re the one who came here and stripped down naked.
She turned full circle and Smokey stood. He rounded his desk and leaned against it. “Take off your underwear.”
Ava flicked the catch at the back of her bra, letting her tits spring free. She dropped it to the floor and stepped out, so inelegantly out of her panties. This wasn’t a striptease.
Now she stood in front of Smokey completely naked.
This had to be the worst idea of her life. There was no way she could justify why she’d done this. Pushing some hair off her face, she waited.
“Your ex was an asshole.” Smokey moved from the desk and stood in front of her. He touched her waist, and she felt on fire from that contact alone. “You’re all woman, Ava, and he wasn’t a man.” He tugged her close. “But I am, and I know exactly what you need.”
****
The information he’d gotten on Ava’s husband had given him enough details to know the man was a bastard. A fucking piece of scum of the highest order. What pieces of paper didn’t give him were actual accounts of what the asshole had done to Ava. The abuse she’d taken at her ex’s hands. It sickened him. No, it infuriated him. He wanted to kill the fucker, slowly and painfully. He was good at torturing. In the last few years, he’d become a master at it. Hearing men scream was something he relished.