He lets go of the past as he presses the blade to my face. He starts above my eye and then cuts downward, leaving a deep gash in its wake. Hot, sticky blood seeps from the wound, coating my face, but I don’t cower. I don’t scream.
Cormac’s cries are guttural as he knows no matter how much blood he spills, it’ll never fill the void. The knife drops to the ground with a hollow thud once he’s sliced open the left side of my face. The men let me go, where I flop forward, gasping for air.
“I hope she suffers the same fate as my son. I curse ya both.”
“Fuck you.”
Those are my last words before he kicks me under the chin, knocking me out cold.
I fight with every ounce of strength I have to open my eyes because someone is here; wherever here is.
“Yer hurt,” says a voice that transports me back in time. As does her tender touch. “Ye need to go to the hospital. Yer lucky it’s just a flesh wound. Any deeper, he would have severed nerves.”
I must be hallucinating. There is no way she is here.
But as I pry open my good eye, I see that she is.
“Aoife?” I croak, attempting to rise. But she gently stops me.
“Rest, Puck,” she says, coaxing me to lie back down on the bed. “I would call an ambulance, but I’m guessin’ ya don’t want the peelers involved.”
“What are ye doin’ here?” I pant, not interested in resting.
She sits by my bedside, looking just how I remember, and tending to my wounds just how I remember too.
“We can talk later.”
“No,” I cut her off, struggling to sit upright as I lean against the bedhead. “Now.”
She works her bottom lip, obviously nervous. Did she expect our reunion to go differently?
“Scott Grenham called on me. Said ya wanted to meet. But when ye didn’t show, I knew somethin’ was wrong.”
I organized to meet Aoife tomorrow, but tomorrow is now today? So, it seems I’ve been out cold for a day. Cormac really did a number on me.
“We need to talk,” I say, flinching as I try to get comfortable. Half my face is bandaged, so getting comfortable is a thing of the past.
She nods, averting her gaze. “I know. I never wanted this.”
“Wanted what?”
She takes her time, her heavy sigh betraying her nerves. “I don’t want ya to think I was…with anyone else in prison,” she says, unable to fill in the blanks, but I understand. “It was only you. I liked ye, Puck. A lot.”
“Who’s the father of yer chile, Aoife?” I ask, not interested in a walk down memory lane. I need to know the truth once and for all.
“How’d ye know?” She pales, swallowing deeply.
“I know a lot of things. I know Sean Kelly has been givin’ ya money. I want to know why.”
She sniffs back her tears. “He approached me,” she says quickly. “I want ye to know I didn’t want anythin’ from him. Or you. I still don’t. But he knew we were…together. I don’t know how, but he knew. And with you in prison, he offered to help.
“I had no one. I couldn’t let anyone know who the father was. I would be ruined. And so would my son.”
“Who is the father?” I ask again.
She covers her face with her hands, crying softly. “It’s you, Puck. He is yer son.”
I suddenly feel like I’ve had the shite kicked out of me again because this is too much.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell ya. But if anyone found out the truth, I’d lose my job. I’d be known as the stupid slut who rode a kil—” She soon stops, as that sentence reveals the kind of people we both really are. “Sean said he wanted to help his…grandson. You couldn’t, but he could, and I want Shay to know where he comes from.”
Closing my eye, I welcome the darkness because I can’t believe it. There must be some mistake.
“He’s really helped us out. He’s kind, Puck. He loves Shay.”
“Yer away in the head if ya think he cares for anyone other than himself.”
“Then why would he help us without askin’ for anythin’ in return?” she poses, which has me believing Sean needs Aoife on his side for a reason.
Opening my eye, I focus on her, and all I see is sincerity. She’s been conned by Sean, just how we all have been.
“Don’t mistake this act as one done out of the kindness of his heart,” I spit, angered. “He’ll come callin’ when he needs ye.”
Something passes over her, something I can’t quite put my finger on.
I have no doubt Sean wants Aoife close as he plans to use them as collateral. He didn’t want me knowing about them as this was another way for him to blindside me. But for once, I’m two steps ahead.
“Ye can’t let him know that ya saw me. Yer both in danger if ya do.”
She gasps, clutching at the gold crucifix around her throat. “He would never hurt us.”
“Yes, Aoife, he would. Please, just trust me. Let me figure out what to do to keep you and…safe.”
Shay, my son. I can’t get my head around it.
“All right. I won’t tell Sean. Did ya, did ya want to meet him?”
Inhaling deeply, I nod. “Of course, I do. Just not lookin’ like this. And not if it puts yer lives in danger.”
She smiles, appearing relieved I agreed. But if he is my son, I’ll look after him. I’ll look after them both. But I need to make sure he really is mine, as I’ve learned even a paternity test can be manipulated when Sean is involved.
“I know ye don’t get along, but yer da has been good to us. I don’t understand why he’d do that if he didn’t care.”
“Don’t be fooled by him, Aoife. I was once, and look where I ended up,” I state bluntly. “He uses people for his own gain and then disposes of them when he’s done. Are ye sure he hasn’t asked anythin’ of you?”
She averts her gaze, revealing her guilt.
“What is it?”
“Nothin’,” she’s quick to reply, which merely cements her guilt. “It’s nothin’.”
“Please, it may seem trivial, but anythin’ can help.”
“Help what?” she asks, confused.
“Help me find…her,” I reply softly.
Aoife has no idea what I’m talking about, but I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know where to look. Cami could be anywhere. I need a fucking miracle.
“Who is she?” she questions, watching me closely.
“She is my everythin’,” I reply, lowering my guard. “And without her, I am so fucking lost.”
Aoife frowns and I know I’ve hurt her with the truth. But there is no one else for me. I will never love anyone as much as I love Babydoll. And I will never stop looking for her.
“She’s a lucky woman then,” Aoife says, but I sense her bitterness. “Did ya ever feel anythin’ for me?”
“Aoife,” I start, not wishing to wound her. “I—”
But she cuts me off as she jumps from the bed. “I have to pick up Shay.”
I’m sorry to hurt her feelings, but what I had with her doesn’t even come close to what I have with Babydoll. I used Aoife to help numb the pain I felt at missing Babydoll. I’m ashamed of my actions, but it’s the truth.