"Try," I urge him.
We have talked enough about the past. Now I want to know more about the present.
The first courses are the Caesar salad with freshly made dressing.
"Wow, I've never had dressing that was this good," I say, taking a bite and then impaling a crouton along with the greens.
He takes a bite and nods in approval.
"Tell me about your work," I say when the smile disappears and he gazes into my eyes.
"I have this client out in Seattle, my boss forced me to invest with him and his company and usually those decisions are made entirely up to me. I promised myself that I would oversee every part of that investment because he didn't deserve it. I have a feeling that my boss is getting a kickback or there's some sort of fraud going on, but what it is exactly I don't know."
"I thought that you were in charge of who you invest with."
"Yeah, I thought so, too," Dante says, "but he basically told me that you either invest the company's money with this guy or go and find another job. So that's what I'm doing."
"What are you doing?"
"A little bit of both. I invested the money and I'm actively looking for other employment."
"Oh, wow. So, there are other companies that do what you do?"
"Of course, competitor companies, some not so good, some a little bit more shady. That's what I liked about Cedar in the first place. He seemed really on the up and up, which is hard to find in the financial world, especially when you're talking about these types of investments. I'm actually considering starting my own."
"You are?"
"Yeah.” He nods. "Wow, it feels weird to tell someone this, but it's the first time I've ever said it out loud."
I smile. "I like that," I say.
He smiles, too, reaches over, and squeezes my hand again. I'm having an elderberry martini. I take a sip and the alcohol calms me down a little bit, relaxing my nerves.
"I've missed you," Dante says out of the blue, just like that. It makes my breath lodge in the back of my throat.
"I missed you, too," I mumble and just as he's about to lean over and kiss me, the waiter comes back with our main course.
I ordered some Atlantic salmon and he got a lobster. I finish the rest of my salad and ask for more because it's so good.
The rest of dinner proceeds quite casually: no more intense conversations, no more apologies, no more regrets about the past.
We just enjoy ourselves in the moment and I find myself relaxing more and more with each passing minute. I had forgotten what it was like to be with him and how comforting it is.
We talk a lot about our thoughts about life, our values, our hopes and dreams. When I ask him about his mom, he just shakes his head and says “not today.” I laugh knowing exactly what that means.
"I've missed you," Dante says when they clear our table. He repeats himself over the rattle of the plates and over the waiter asking me whether I’m done with my food and if I want to take the rest home.
When the waiter leaves, Dante repeats himself, laser-focusing his eyes on me.
“I’ve missed you,” he says for the third time and the world falls away.
It's just the two of us now, alone and together, and I want to stay this way forever.
15
Jacqueline
After dinner, Dante drives back to his house, and we hold hands the whole way. He offers to drop me off, but then invites me in for a cocktail, and I can't accept fast enough.
I've missed him, too.
I want him.
I haven't actually stopped thinking about him this whole time. I'm sitting in the passenger seat, and he's holding my hand, and we can finally be together.
We start kissing when we get to the doorstep. His hands make their way all over my body, pressing me tightly against his. His lips are soft, strong, just like I remember.
Dedicated and impatient.
He's a contradiction in itself, and I want that all over me.
Dante pulls away to open the door and then grabs my hand and pulls me inside. He presses me against the wall and runs his hand up my thigh and under my dress.
I feel him graze my lace panties, and the fact that I'm wearing them now is not an accident.
"Hey," he says, pulling away from me, locking eyes.
I smile at him, feeling myself smoldering. He puts his finger on my chin, points my head upward, and kisses me again.
I like the way that he demands certain things of me and has his way with my body.
I like the confidence with which he acts and moves. And of course, it's all about me wanting to be with him.
We kiss. With him pressing me against the wall, my hands make it up his shirt, feeling the outline of each muscle.
I love how broad his shoulders are and how powerful they feel above me: consuming me, pressing me, and keeping me in place here.
Somehow, we end up on the staircase, him still on top of me, the steps digging into my back.
As I'm about to move, he pushes me up and then reaches down and pulls down my panties. They get stuck at my ankles, and he laughs, and I laugh along with him.
But then he reaches over and opens my legs. I feel the heat emanating from the middle, and he runs his tongue on the inside of my thighs.
I lean back, propping myself up with my elbows.
He teases me for a while, kissing all around except for the inside, and then finally gives me a small lick.
"You're terrible," I say, closing my legs.
"I know."
Dante smiles and opens them up again forcibly, this time kissing me everywhere. His tongue makes its way deep inside of me, and all of that built-up tension comes to the surface.
A wave starts to roll through me and I begin to lose control, but he pulls away just before.
He gets on top of me and kisses my neck and my breasts, just the top because my dress is too tight, and whispers, "Come upstairs with me."
Still feeling a little bit woozy from the experience at the bottom of the steps, I let him drag me up by my hand. At the top, he grabs me, lifts me up, and carries me all the way to his bedroom, plopping me down on a king-sized bed.
Dante kisses me again and again, cradling my head with his beefy arms, and then when I least expect it, he flips me over onto my stomach and unzips the back, helping me up to my feet.
The dress slips off, and he undoes my bra.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers, looking at me.
I smile. I feel so comfortable and at peace in his arms, and yet at the same time, incredibly aroused.
He holds me close to him, pulls away only briefly, and then kneels down and kisses my chest, my breasts, going all the way down to my stomach, and then in between my thighs.
I arch my back, my hair falls somewhere behind me. His hands move generously and liberally up and down my body, and I reach down and press and squeeze his hard buttocks together. My fingers run up to his shoulders, broad and expansive. He makes me feel diminutive under his body.
"Do you have something?" I ask.
He nods, reaching into his wallet. I kiss his neck.
He slides his pants all the way off and drops them on the floor. He runs his fingers down my side and kisses my shoulder again and again. I hear the crinkling of the condom wrapper and I open my legs just as he slides inside.