So he’d held her. Parthed. Told her she was beautiful and that if she remembered nothing else, he wanted her to remember him with kindness.
It was all arranged. She could return to her people. To her sister. The Mother Superior would see to it. There was a letter for her, a declaration that she was under the Lord Overseer’s personal protection as well as his own. It should safeguard both her and their child.
A child he would never see.
Everything he was screamed in protest at what he was about to do, but he had no other choice. If he kept her close so he could protect her, she’d die. His beautiful, stubborn xarthing little star would let go of this life rather than accept her new role.
He had to let her go.
The sun rose, the golden light streaming through the window announcing his time was up. “Serena. It’s time to wake.” He kissed her cheek, allowing himself one last moment of tenderness when no one was there to witness it. Not even his omega. She hadn’t truly been aware of anything for a day now.
“You’re going to see your family soon. You want that. Don’t you?”
She didn’t answer him, no life in her eyes when she opened them. He smiled, the expression bittersweet as he reached out and brushed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. It was almost bearable if he told himself it was a visit. That she would be back in a few days. And in his mind, in another time or parallel universe, that’s what would happen. She would come back to him, happy and filled with sass and they would live out their lives together.
“Come on, little star,” he murmured, helping her up out of bed so she could get dressed. He locked each moment away in his memory and cherished the seconds until they were gone.
He opened the door to find Mother Superior waiting in the corridor outside. Her expression was different. Surprised. Sympathetic. Approving. He didn’t even rail at the last one. He didn’t need anyone’s approval, much less some beta human’s. But… he couldn’t bring himself to snarl at her and remind her of her place.
“Thank you,” the priestess said in a low voice. “I really didn’t think you would do it.”
He nodded, the movement sharp. “I am alpha. The wellbeing and happiness of my omega is all.”
She nodded. “I’m beginning to see that.”
“I don’t want to know where you’re taking her or when she will leave. I am trusting you to protect her.” He ground his teeth. “I may ask you that later. If things…” He shook his head. “Don’t tell me. In fact, I suggest you stay far away until I am gone.”
The beta nodded. “She will be safe. You have my word.”
“Then go before I change my mind.” He placed Serena’s hand in Ariadne’s and walked away. He barely managed to get the door closed before the change took him.
He embraced it. The door wouldn’t open again until Tane himself unlocked it. He needed to be alone. And if he destroyed everything he owned, it likely wouldn’t matter soon. He had never felt like this in his life. He never would again. She was his truly bonded omega, and without her, his mind would crack.
It had already started.
Hours later his memory returned in scattered patches. Lord Tane unlocked the door, no expression on his face as he recovered Kinn from the destroyed apartment. He drank with the lord and his brother warriors as they toured all of the bars in the citadel, downing pint after pint of ja’tyr. He drank so much that his body, usually able to metabolize any alcohol within minutes, couldn’t keep up. He was drunk, dead drunk, and… singing?
Each time he came to, he was in a different bar but with an awareness of the inexorable march of time. The night faded into the early morning and he took a deep breath as the last sweaty, smoke-filled bar faded into an alley and finally under the rising sun at the edge of the ritual arena at the center of the citadel.
He sighed, the breath leaving his lungs as he tilted his head up so the sunlight fell on his face. His last sunrise. The slight breeze washed over his cheeks. They were wet. It wasn’t raining.
Lord Tane stood in front of him. The overseer was dressed in full court regalia.
It was time. The Iratzi Tarn hadn’t been performed in… Kinn couldn’t recall the information. He’d known it once. Had even looked it up while he was making preparations, but it was gone now. His mind was unraveling. Facts and memories were vanishing like mist in the morning sun. If he didn’t do this today, nothing would be left of him by sundown. T’kinn the healer would be gone, consumed by the rage that boiled within him. Soon he’d become untethered. Later, he’d be unstoppable—a wild animal that would have to be put down.
This way was better. He would still have his honor, and Serena would have her life.
Jaxx and Warr stood on either side of him, supporting him and keeping him upright. He vaguely recalled they’d been doing it for hours, guiding him from bar to bar, leading the songs and toasts that celebrated his life. Every battle. Every honor. Even now, they were being marked in the fireworks being set off around the arena. The story had been told across the city. And now, it was time for it to end.
He straightened, looking Tane in the eyes.
“Are you ready, warrior?” Tane asked.
“I am ready.” Kinn thumped his fist to his bare chest. When had he lost his shirt? “It has been an honor to serve, my Lord Overseer.”
Tane’s expression tightened, a small muscle ticcing in the corner of his jaw. “The honor has been mine, brother,” he said, returning Kinn’s salute. “Go in peace. Enter the halls of Kranov and claim your reward.”
It was all Kinn could do to nod. Then he turned to walk to the stone block in the middle of the sand. Warriors lined the path, fists crashing against their chests as he made the final walk. Time skipped and he found himself kneeling, Jaxx and Warr at either shoulder. They held his blades out, the hilts wrapped in silver ribbon, the Tolathian color of mourning.
“For you, Serena, my love,” he whispered to himself as he reached out to take the blades, his mind clearer than it had been for hours. Just two strokes and he would free his omega.
Give his life so that she might live.
Serena sat at the window of the ratty little room she’d woken up in and watched the sky start to lighten over the city.
It was the first time in days she had woken willingly. Awareness had poured into her like water into an empty cup. She knew where she was. Who she was. And above all else, she knew she was free. Kinn had let her go.
Kinn.
The alpha who had claimed her, held her prisoner, and then for some reason she didn’t understand, had let her go. She touched a hand to her stomach. He’d let them go—his omega and their child.
The enormity of that stunned her. It didn’t make sense. Didn’t fit with anything she’d ever been told about alphas. They never let omegas go. Yeah, the little voice in the back of her head whispered, and they also passed omegas around between them, knotting them to death.
That hadn’t happened.
She frowned, biting at her lip. In fact, Kinn hadn’t been like any of the horror stories she’d heard. He’d been an arrogant, bossy asshole, sure. But he’d never done any of the things the other omegas whispered about. He’d said he was H’thor. That his clan weren’t like the other alphas. She hadn’t believed him. Now… maybe she’d have to reconsider that. It could be valuable information to share with her sister and the others.