Instead, I muster my dignity and say calmly, “You wish.”
He inhales against my neck, his nose skimming the sensitive spot underneath my nose. It makes goose bumps break out all along my arms.
Then he withdraws abruptly and releases my shoulder. He steps back, blinking, looking like he’s not sure what just came over him, and also that he’d like to give himself a black eye.
He digs into his jacket pocket and produces a cell phone. He thrusts it at me.
“Here.”
He pauses for a rough throat clearing as I take the phone. “My number’s programmed in. If you need something, text me. You can’t dial out except for that number. There’s no internet connection. Don’t bother trying to contact anyone else.”
He spins on his heel and strides out of the closet.
“Wait!” I run after him. He’s already halfway across the room. “Declan!”
He stops at the door. Without turning around, he says gruffly, “What?”
“How long are you going to keep me here?”
“As long as it takes.”
“As long as what takes?”
He’s silent for a moment, debating with himself, then turns and faces me. His expression is grim. “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but those MS-13 lads who shot at us? That wasn’t a rescue attempt.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean they were trying to kill us. Both.”
A chill runs down my spine. “Why would they try to kill me? You said Kage sent them.”
“No, I said your abduction wouldn’t go over well with him. And that was accurate. He did mobilize his own soldiers to form a rescue party. But somehow, the other syndicates discovered the identity of my cargo as well.”
Cargo. I’m nothing more than a package to these people. “And?”
“I told you. We’re at war. You’re a valued member of the Bratva—”
“Whoa. Hold on. I’m not in the Russian mafia.”
Declan gazes at me with dark, unreadable eyes. “You’re loved by some who are.”
Natalie. Stavros. Oh god. “So you’re saying now I’m a gangster by default?”
“What you are is a target. Because of the shootings that happened at the annual Christmas Eve meeting of the families, Kazimir closed down all the ports, disrupted distribution pipelines, sabotaged shipments, and interrupted the flow of money. Everyone’s hurting. If the other families get their hands on you, you’ll be used as either a bargaining chip or…”
Payback.
He doesn’t have to say it. I understand where this story leads.
Holding his gaze, I say, “And which will you use me for?”
“If I wanted you dead, you already would be.”
“So it’ll be a negotiation, then.”
“I’m not negotiating with that piece of rubbish.”
There’s something hateful in his tone, something that hints at old vendettas and even older scars. He despises Kage, that much is clear, but also seems to think he’s superior to him.
As if one racketeering, drug-smuggling, money-laundering criminal is better than another.
“If I’m not a bargaining chip to you, or a means for retaliation, what am I? Why am I here?”
“I already told you, lass. Right now, it’s safer for you with me than anywhere else.”
It hits me then: Declan saved my life.
If what he’s saying is true and MS-13 had managed to get their hands on me… No. I won’t think about that.
I also don’t want to think about what it means that my kidnapper has turned into my protector. My head isn’t equipped to handle that particular mindfuck just yet.
There are a million different things I want to say, things that would make so much more sense, but what comes out of my mouth surprises us both.
“Thank you.”
There isn’t a word to describe his expression. Maybe boggled.
“What?”
“I said thank you. If what you just told me is true, you saved my life. I owe you one.”
He stares at me like I’m an alien who just landed on his lawn and informed him I needed his kidneys or an entire race of intelligent beings in some distant galaxy would die.
I make my voice stronger. “I’m not saying that to make you angry.”
“I know.”
“Oh. Okay. So.”
“So.”
We stare at each other. I’m aware of every inch of skin on my body. My stomach takes the opportunity to emit a loud rumble into the awkward silence.
“You need food.” Declan shakes his head as if the realization makes him irritated with himself for not thinking of it sooner.
“Yes. Please.”
“Anything else?”
When I hesitate, he says, “I’ll let your girlfriend know you’re safe.”
I don’t understand this polite, protective kidnapper. What happened to the growling jerk? “Thank you. Again. But that’s not what I was thinking.”
He can see I’m uncomfortable. He lifts his brows, waiting.
“I need toiletries. Girl things.”
“Just text me a list. I’ll get whatever you need.”
My surprise is so great, I can’t hold it in. “You’ll buy me tampons?”
His mouth does something strange. Is he trying not to smile?
“No. I’ll send Kieran.”
“Not Kieran.”
“Why not?”
“I’m trying to get on his good side.”
“Because?”
“There’s nothing that hurts a man’s pride like being seen as weak in front of his friends. I don’t want to embarrass him more than I already have.”
Declan does his head tilt thing that he does whenever he’s really looking at me. His eyes are penetrating. Examining. Knowing.
It makes me flustered. “I might need to make him fall in love with me and break me out of here, okay? Jesus.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Okay.”
Then he sighs heavily, rakes a hand through his hair, and seems to gather himself. Standing taller and smoothing a hand over his tie, he squares his shoulders and sets his jaw.
It strikes me that he doesn’t want to go back outside.
Not because he wants to stay with me, but because whatever or whoever is waiting for him, he’s dreading it.
When he turns to go, I say impulsively, “Hey. Gangster.”
He turns back, his smile faint. “Aye, lass?”
“You got this.”
He frowns a little, not understanding.
“You heard me. Whatever you’re about to go do, you’re gonna do great. Just take a deep breath and remember who the fuck you are.”
Looking stunned, he repeats faintly, “Remember…?”
“That’s what I always tell myself when I’m not feeling one hundred percent. Remember who you are.”
I can tell he doesn’t want to ask, but curiosity gets the better of him. “And who are you?”
“The only one of me who ever has been or ever will be. Same as you. In a word: irreplaceable.”
His lips part. He gazes at me for a long, silent moment. “You were dropped on your head a lot as a baby. That’s it, isn’t it?”