Once Vixen and Apollo left, I turned back to Trinity. He was slipping his coat on, and as he headed for the door, he stopped to give me a warm hug, which was a surprise, given he seldom hugged anybody.
“Never let the bastards get you down,” he said with a laugh. “You know I don’t give a flying fig about the Queen. I have no desire to be part of the court. I’ll be here for you, Raven. Know that. Whenever you need anything, just call me.” He was the cutest goth boy when he smiled—he was older than I was but he looked young, and he had that timeless sense to him. For a while Kipa had been jealous of him, but we had moved beyond that.
I did find Trinity attractive, but I liked the friendship we had and when sex intervened, everything shifted, regardless of best efforts to keep the status quo. Also, the fact that Trinity was half incubus was problematic, and then—the most important reason to stay friends instead of lovers—Kipa. Kipa and I were exclusive.
At the beginning, I had realized that Kipa had always played the field—except for once. Yet he expected me to keep myself for him. That shifted quickly enough, and he understood that whatever we decided on went both ways, so we opted for exclusive.
But then, he told me about his one great love. She’d been human and he had stayed with her until the end. And he also told me that I was only the second woman he’d ever been with who had made him want to commit. We said the “L” word—and settled into seeing where the relationship was going to take us.
A fling with Trinity wouldn’t be worth jeopardizing everything I had with Kipa. I had no clue if we’d be together forever, but for now, we were good. We fit together. He was the only man who had ever challenged me in the way he did.
After Trinity left, Phasmoria told us to go to bed. “I’ll clean up. Don’t worry about anything. It’s been a long and difficult evening. You go rest.”
Kipa fell asleep quickly, but my mind wouldn’t shut up. After a while, I slid out of bed and into my robe and joined my mother in the kitchen. She had finished putting everything away, and the dishes were in the dishwasher. She poured herself a cup of tea as I entered the room.
“Can’t sleep?”
I shook my head. “I’m exhausted but…”
“The adrenaline rush hasn’t worn off?”
“Right again.” I peeked in the fridge and found two slices of pizza that were still good. “Mind if I eat these?”
“They’re yours. It’s your house.” She added, “Let me warm you some milk. It will help you sleep.”
I carried the pizza into the living room where I sat down, crossing my legs on the sofa. Raj had fallen asleep in his bed. I had bought a massive dog bed—the biggest I could find—for him, and he was curled under his blanket, snoring softly. As my mother joined me, she opened the curtains so we could watch the snow falling. The lights of the tree twinkled with a soft glow, and Phasmoria turned off the rest of the lights so we were sitting by the glow of the tree and the steady flicker of flames in the gas fireplace.
She motioned for me to drink my milk, into which she’d sprinkled some cinnamon and a hint of sugar. “Drink up. It will do you good.”
I leaned back against the sofa, cradling the warm mug in my hand. “This is good. Da used to make me a drink like this when I was little.”
“No, I was the one who made it for you. While I was still there, during the years the Morrígan gave me to be with you.” She stretched out in the recliner. “This is lovely. You have good taste in decor.”
I finished the milk, then picked up the pizza. Pausing, I asked, “Why do you think Da turned his back on me? I never thought he’d abandon me like…” I stopped.
“You were going to say like I did, right?” Phasmoria held my gaze. “It’s okay. You know why I had to leave, but I know it felt like I abandoned you. But Curikan, he was always there for you. It has to feel like he betrayed you.”
I sighed and ate a few bites of the pizza. I loved cold spaghetti too. I was odd like that.
“Yeah, it does. He set me up to believe he would always be there. You’ve always been there, but I never expect you to be—and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I understand your life. That you schedule time to be with me means a lot. I know that you only have so much free time and when you choose me, I feel like I matter. But Da was my foundation. He’s the one who was supposed to take my side. And damn him, he fucked up. He pulled the rug out from under my feet and didn’t catch me when I fell.”
Phasmoria looked ready to cry. I never saw her with tears in her eyes and the sight scared me more than when she was angry.
“I don’t know what happened, Raven. But I will be talking to Curikan at the first available chance. I’ll get to the bottom of things.” She sputtered, “I know I’ve been the bad cop over the years, and he’s always been the good cop, so I’m not sure how to behave now that the roles are reversed. It’s going to take me some time to adjust.”
I set my plate on the coffee table. “Tell me about the Banra-Sheagh. How old is she? Who gave her the power of command? Why didn’t I know about her before?” I suddenly felt full of questions, but the one I wanted to ask the most—“Why did you throw me away?”—I couldn’t, because my father wasn’t here. And this time, the question was aimed at him.
Phasmoria sighed. “That’s a lot of material to go over, given how late it is. Why don’t we talk about it tomorrow? For now, you need your rest.”
I yawned. The milk was making me sleepy. Frowning—hot milk had never had quite that powerful of effect on me before—I reluctantly agreed. “I am tired. And now I think I can sleep.”
“Good. I’d tuck you in but I don’t want to startle Kipa. Go to bed and we’ll talk in the morning.” She walked me down the hall, her arm around my shoulders. “I’ll lock up and make certain the wards are set. Meanwhile, go to sleep and don’t think about what happened. There’s no use in borrowing more trouble than we already have.”
I slipped into my room and flung my robe on the vanity bench. I stared at the snoring god in my bed for a moment and then, with relief that he was there, I slid beneath the comforter and snuggled up to him, wrapping my arms around him as I sought comfort in dreamless sleep.
The next morning, my mother was finishing up preparations on a massive breakfast for all of us, and she had fed the ferrets and Raj, who was happily slurping up another bowl of cat food. Kipa was helping her when I trudged in, still wearing my robe.
“That’s too rich to feed him much of. He needs to get that for a treat.” I paused, not wanting to sound ungrateful. “Thank you, though. I appreciate the extra sleep.” I glanced at the clock. It was almost nine-thirty. Yawning, I added, “I can’t believe I slept so late.”
Kipa set down the platter of waffles on the table and swung me into his arms, giving me a long, lazy kiss. “You needed the rest. Your mother and I have bacon and eggs and coffee and waffles ready, and fruit, if you want it. Go dress and breakfast will be ready when you return.”
I padded back to the bedroom. I had taken a shower the night before, so—given the rumbling of my stomach—I decided to forgo another one.