Bonnie, a middle-aged nurse, walked into the curtained-off area carrying a stack of clothes. “How are we doing in here?”
Leah didn’t even try to respond. Just the thought of it wore her out.
“You and your girls are very blessed. There’s a waiting room full of people who are worried about you.”
“We don’t know anyone,” Leah whispered.
“Well, honey, they sure know you. There must be twenty-five Dark Knights out there, and the whole Wicked clan.”
Why were they there?
“Ginger Wicked said you work for her,” the nurse said. “And Tank is wearing a path in the lobby floor. He’s the one who rescued you.”
He didn’t rescue River. Leah closed her eyes against tears and remembered how she’d gone off on Tank, adding more grief to her mile-high pile.
“Ginger brought these clothes for you and pajamas for the girls. Would you like me to help you get them dressed?”
“She brought us clothes?” Leah had forgotten they were wearing hospital gowns.
“Yes. They’re a thoughtful family. They’ve helped a lot of people in the community.”
Leah sat up, wincing in pain. Her whole body hurt. She touched the bandage on her forehead where she’d gotten stitches.
“Unfortunately, you’re going to be even sorer tomorrow. But you and your girls are safe, and that’s what matters.”
She knew Bonnie meant well, but she wanted to scream, River matters, and he’s not here! Her throat thickened painfully, and she moved like an automaton, putting on the underwear, sweatshirt, leggings, socks, and sneakers Ginger had brought for her, briefly wondering how she knew her size and why she’d bothered. But thinking opened a door to misery, and she couldn’t afford to break down. She needed to be strong for her girls, so she stopped thinking. They’d cried so hard for River in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, they’d worn themselves out.
Junie whimpered, eyes closed, her body limp as a rag doll, while they dressed her and Rosie. They had bruises caused by the straps on their carseats, and the sight of those bruises made Leah feel sick.
“Go home?” Rosie asked as she lay on the bed.
“Soon,” Leah promised, but she didn’t want to go home. She couldn’t imagine being there without River.
“I want Wiver,” Junie said groggily as she laid her head on the pillow beside Rosie.
“I know, baby.” Leah kissed her forehead, doing her damnedest to hold back a rush of tears.
Rosie turned on her side, putting her arm around Junie, and they both closed their eyes.
“Leah, you should be discharged soon, but Ginger asked if she could come in to see you. Would that be okay?”
She nodded and leaned against the bed. A few minutes later, Ginger came through the curtains, and her compassionate expression caused another flood of tears. Leah closed her eyes against them.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Ginger looked sadly at Junie and Rosie sleeping, and then she touched Leah’s cheek, her gaze moving over the bandage on Leah’s forehead. “My poor girl.”
Leah looked down at the floor, trying not to start crying again. She opened her mouth to thank her for the clothes, but no words came.
“Oh, honey. Come here.” Ginger embraced her gently. “I’m so sorry, baby girl. So very sorry.”
Leah stood with her arms hanging limply by her sides, squeezing her eyes shut, but there was no stopping the tears.
“We’re all here for you, honey.”
But I wasn’t there for River. She tried to hold back sobs, but they burst out in harsh jerks.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Let it out. Cry as much as you need to. It’ll help.”
Her kindness was all it took to uncap the well of tears. Leah clenched her teeth against her sobs, trying not to wake the girls. But then she remembered Ginger was her boss and that River’s girls needed her, so she forced all that sadness down deep, gulping in air, and stepped out of Ginger’s arms.
“I’m sorry.” Leah wiped her tears.
“There is nothing to be sorry about. I’ve been through this, honey. As you might know, we lost our youngest, our daughter, Ashley, when she was in college. I understand what you’re going through.”
Leah’s heart broke anew. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. They said you don’t have any family in the area?”
Leah shook her head. “We have no family. It was just my brother, River, and us.” More tears fell, and she grabbed tissues from a box on the table. “I’m sorry. I can’t talk about him.”
“It’s okay, honey. We’ve brought carseats, and if it’s okay with you, we’d like to drive you home.”
She hadn’t even thought about her car or the carseats. “I would appreciate that.”
“Okay. You and the girls can stay with us if you’d like. We have plenty of room.”
Leah was astonished, but as much as she didn’t want to go home, she knew the girls needed to be in their own beds. “Thank you, but we need to be home.”
“I understand, but the offer stands, anytime.”
The nurse came through the curtain again, and she began going over discharge instructions. “You shouldn’t be alone tonight. You hit your head pretty hard and need to be watched for signs of a concussion.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Ginger said. “That is, if it’s okay with you, Leah.”
“I’ll be okay. You don’t have to.”
“Leah, it’s important that you’re not alone, just in case.” The nurse went on to explain what to watch for. She reiterated the importance of bereavement counseling, and when she handed Leah a bag with River’s wallet, phone, and necklace and started talking about his body, Leah broke down again.
Ginger put her hand on Leah’s back and said, “Bonnie, why don’t you and I step outside the curtain and I’ll get that information for Leah. Is that okay, Leah?”
“Yes,” she choked out. “Thank you.”
Time moved in a slow-motion blur. Leah carried Rosie and Ginger carried Junie out of the emergency area. Tank was right there offering to carry Rosie when she came through the doors into the crowded lobby. But Leah clung to her. She would have carried Junie, too, if she could have. She needed them close.
Tank and Conroy flanked them on the way to the car, with Baz and Gunner leading the rest of the people a few feet behind. Nothing felt real as Ginger drove them home, followed by a pack of motorcycles. When they arrived, Tank parked behind Ginger in the driveway, and three other motorcycles parked on the street. Leah had no idea who was there or where everyone else went. Before she had even unhooked her seat belt, Tank was opening her door. She wasn’t too wrung out to feel the suffocation wafting off him. Only now it felt darker, more tortured. He should hate her for the way she beat on him, but he reached for her hand and helped her out. She winced as she stood.
“My mother and I can carry the girls.” His voice was deep, raspy, and authoritative, but also somehow kind.
“I need to carry one,” she said softly.
He nodded and proceeded to take Rosie out of her carseat and hand her to Leah. Then he went around to the passenger side, where Ginger was talking with Conroy and their other sons. Tank picked up Junie, and she grabbed hold of the silver chain hanging around his neck, sending another spear of sadness through Leah. Junie looked tiny against him as he came to Leah’s side. She realized her keys were in the car at the bottom of the river that had killed her brother. A flood of tears hit, and Tank drew her and Rosie against him. His clothes were still wet and smelled like the river, which made her ache even more.