I pulled her in for a hug so she couldn’t see my face. She couldn’t see the hope or the pain that came with the thought of Sebastian and I doing this together.
But that was nothing more than a dream.
And I wasn’t the kind of girl whose dreams came true.
4
By and By
PRESLEY
I had never been so nervous as I was standing on the front porch of the Vargas mansion with a confusing mixture of certainty that I was about to be permabanned, coupled with the hope that had inspired me to shave all my bits.
It really could go either way.
I took a deep breath and ran through my plan again. I’d played out dozens of conversations in my mind since I’d seen him earlier today, narrowing it down to one in particular, thanks to its concise and simple explanation. That is, assuming I didn’t just blurt it out like an idiot.
Minutes away from unloading my secret. No more telling Priscilla her dad was busy fighting crime in Metropolis, or that he was on a moon station collecting rock samples. Don’t worry—she didn’t believe me. It was a running joke in our family. Sometimes he swallowed knives with the circus. Sometimes he was a baseball hall of famer. Just depended on my mood.
But the jokes would finally be over. Assuming he wanted to meet Priscilla. And assuming he wanted to be involved in her life.
If not, he’d be fighting an intergalactic space battle in the Gamma Quadrant indefinitely.
I just had to survive the next few minutes, and—
The door opened with a whoosh, and framed in the threshold was Sebastian Vargas, smiling like he was the happiest man alive.
I was struck breathless, caught in a tempest of emotion.
Before I could speak, I was in his arms.
A thousand years could pass and I’d remember how his lips felt against mine. There had always been this thing between us, this spark of recognition. As if the very core of who we were knew the other, and when we kissed, the pieces snapped together precisely. Without question, without doubt. It was an elemental rightness, even caught off guard. Even when I knew I should stop him. For that moment, for what might be the last, perfect moment, I basked in that feeling.
The twist in my heart squeezed tighter. His grip eased. Our lips parted. He smiled.
“You’re here,” he said.
“I was summoned by Sebastian Vargas. Of course I’m here. But you promised me holeless donuts, so I hope you’ve delivered or else I’m out.”
With a smirk, he snagged my hand, pulled me inside, and stood me in front of the hall table where a baker’s box stood.
“Go on, open it.”
Suppressing a smile, I did. But it wasn’t the donuts that made me gasp.
“You got kolaches?”
“Your favorite—cheese and jalapeño.”
I smiled at him with bald hunger on my face. And not for pastries.
If my stomach hadn’t been in a wad of knots, I would have inhaled at least two of the sausage pastries and a donut. But there was no way I’d keep food down now, and I wasn’t sacrilegious enough to waste such a gift in so unseemly a way.
Again, he grabbed my hand and towed me into the house.
“Hey, what about my goodies?” I asked.
“I’m planning on kissing you a whole lot tonight, so I was hoping you’d hold off on the jalapeños for a second.”
I laughed, my cheeks hot. “Wow, you didn’t used to be such a priss about kissing me.”
“Things change when you’re a grown up. Like dental hygiene.”
He was joking, but the words struck the smile off my face. “Bastian, wait. Can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure,” he said, still trekking through the massive house toward the backyard. “Come on, we can sit out by the fire pit and talk about whatever you want.”
I sighed, unable to do much but follow him.
We stepped outside to the smell of citronella candles, and he stopped, turning to me with that goddamn lovesick look on his face. I took a breath to steady myself, lifted my chin, and opened my mouth to speak when—
“Surprise!”
Strung lights flicked on, and I jumped into the air like a cat, only to be caught around the waist by Sebastian when half the town jumped out from behind furniture and shrubbery. As I stood there gaping, I noted all the faces, including my cousins, those traitors. And Sebastian stood behind me, chuckling with his arm around my waist and his lips near my ear.
“Surprise,” he said, pressing a kiss into my hair.
I was officially screwed, and not just for the diminishing odds of unloading the secret burning a hole in my pocket. But because all I wanted was Sebastian’s arms around me and his lips in my hair forever.
And it was probably the last thing I could ever have.
Hours later, we’d floated way down whiskey river until just about everyone was sloshed. Well, everyone else was sloshed. I couldn’t seem to make it past tipsy no matter how much I drank. And I really did try once I realized Sebastian was good and drunk and the odds of telling him tonight were slim to none.
I didn’t realize I had this many friends in Lindenbach until tonight, though I figured at least half of them were here for Sebastian. I wasn’t the only one freshly back in town, and as deep as his roots went here, it was easy to see that he’d been missed. I watched my cousins turn guys away all night—I couldn’t figure out why any of the poor suckers still bothered, though I admired their tenacity. Every eligible man in the tricounty area knew the Blum sisters wouldn’t date until their mother did, but still, they tried. Which either made them champs or creeps. The line between the two was thin.
I found myself on Sebastian’s lap in one of the patio chairs clustered around the fire pit, which on its own was crazy, considering it was still eighty-five degrees out at midnight. I hadn’t intended to end up with my arm around his neck, his hand on my thigh and his voice rumbling through his chest and into mine. But every time I moved more than a few feet away, he pulled me back by way of my hand or my waist or kisses to my crown.
There was no way to tell him, and there was no way to get away. And even more important—I wasn’t giving him this particular news with a hundred people at his house and a pint of whiskey in his system.
The crowd had thinned out, and the conversation in the circle broke in different directions with us in the middle, too far away to actively contribute. He shifted so we could see each other better, his smile warm as the whiskey in my bloodstream.
“I can’t believe you’re right here in front of me,” he said.
“Technically, I’m on you.”
A chuckle. “Much preferred.”
“How’s your Mom feeling?”
“Good,” he said with an easy sort of relief. “She’ll be back in Houston every six months for checkups, more if she’s symptomatic. But she’s cancer free. How about your mom? I heard she’s wearing oxygen now.”
I nodded. “It’s been …” A sigh. “It’s been hard. Thank God for Dottie taking us in when we lost the house. As brutal as it’s been, it’s kind of been a relief not to be behind. Didn’t matter how hard I worked, we were never able to save, and it’s just … it’s so nice not to have to worry about it anymore. Is that terrible to say?”