I wanted to seal our mate bond. Now. Before anyone could take it away from us. My fingers trailed down his neck and then over his chest, my breaths shallower as a mixture of fear and desire coursed through me. Rage. He was … everything.
His fingers dug into my hips, and my entire body trembled.
Rage looked down at me and frowned. “I … I thought you were kidnapped, Nai. You … you left me. On my coronation day.” He swallowed hard. “You did that willingly?”
Willingly? Is that what he thought?
“That hurt,” he growled.
His pain pummeled me, and, despite all my earlier crying, a fresh tear slid down my cheek. I hadn’t explained properly if he really believed that. I was just so tired, emotionally and physically, and terrified the high mages would take him from me.
“Why did it have to be right then?” Rage continued, oblivious to my internal turmoil. “Why couldn’t you tell me? Why … you left without even a thought.”
His accusations … each one wrung my heart. More tears trickled down my face, and I nodded, acknowledging my guilt. More than anything, Rage deserved the truth. All the way down to the cowardice I’d felt and then rationalized as being sufficient reason to flee. “I-I was scared you … wouldn’t let me go,” I whispered. “My grandfather said we had a limited amount of time to record my name in the books—and I had to be there for it. He said if I didn’t inherit his spirit magic, the one that lets him raise the dead, like Honor, it will go to Kian and the other high mage councilmen.”
The breath whooshed out of him at that detail. “Yeah, we can’t let that happen…”
Of course he understood. Feeling more than a little stupid, I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. How could I have doubted him? “I came back as soon as I could. I’ve barely slept since I left.” Admitting that truth made me yawn as fatigue really hit me, and then I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. “Not that it looks like you’ve slept much either.”
Guilt pressed against me, filling my chest and twisting my insides. If the roles had been reversed … I stared into his eyes, and more tears fell down my face.
Poor Rage. What had I done to him?
“I was so worried you’d think I just left you,” I blurted out.
He reached up and brushed away my tears with the pad of his thumbs. “Dammit, woman…” He rested his forehead on mine. “You nearly broke me.”
My heart fell—like a stone in my stomach. I really screwed up. Bad. I wanted to make this right. I wanted to seal our bond. I wanted for him—for us to be safe. But more than anything, I owed him an apology. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice breathy as I looked into his emerald eyes. “I love you, Rage. I love you so much.”
I licked my lips, and his parted. The air charged as need knocked into me, and my breath quickened. Did he feel this, too?
“Nai…” He spoke my name so full of love and longing. As his fingers trailed down my neck, his touch left a trail of heat on my skin, stoking my desire, until his palm rested against my chest. My heart thumped against my ribs as if it could leap through me to him. Every part of me wanted more, to be closer to him, to touch him … to taste him. Leaning forward, I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, and he groaned, clenching my hips as his muscles tightened.
“Rage…” I panted against his lips.
He walked me backward, closing the door as he boxed me against it. Pressing his body to mine, he trailed kisses down my neck and then slowly dragged the tip of his tongue back up the sensitive skin with my pulse thrumming against the gentle pressure.
Arching, I pressed my lower body to his, and he slipped his hand under my shirt and caressed my breast. Heat shot through me. I clung to him, trying to steady myself. I needed … I needed…
“I love you, Nai,” he growled with a squeeze, and then he nipped at the sensitive spot just below my ear. “You are mine, mate.”
I moaned, pressing closer until all I could feel was Rage … and still, I ached for more. As I raked my fingers down his back, I panted out my assent and then slid my tongue into his mouth.
Our tongues tangled, stroking against one another, but his last word stuck in my mind: mate. Rage was my mate, and I wanted him, not just now—forever. And the only way that would happen…
“We have to seal our bond,” I begged.
He gripped my hips, grinding against me in response.
“Please?” I begged, writhing against him. Fear crept in … an icy wisp of promised failure. I fumbled with the band on his boxers even as my worry multiplied.
What would the high mages do?
Shoving the thought from my mind, I focused on Rage. I couldn’t let the high mages’ threats ruin this moment for us. I needed—
He scooped his hands under my thighs and lifted me up, cupping my butt, and I wrapped my legs around him.
Thoughts fled my mind as we tumbled back onto his bed. Our kisses grew frantic; his hands traveled over my curves. My shirt disappeared as did my pants. He stared down at me, his chest heaving as his gaze caressed my skin.
I swallowed hard, forcing down the desperation clawing its way through me. What was taking him so long? Why didn’t he—?
Finally, Rage lowered himself onto me, bracing his weight on his elbows, and then he pressed his lips to mine in a slow, tender kiss.
He acted as if we had all night … but what if we didn’t? What if they saw me leave? What if the mages were coming right now with the blood mage they spoke of and—
“We need to seal it before they break it,” I breathed, tugging on the waistband of his underwear.
He pulled back, his brow furrowed, and stared at me.
“What?” he asked.
I sucked in a breath, and my gaze darted to the door before returning to Rage. The wretched fear I’d tried to ignore reared within me, and I nearly whimpered.
“What did you just say?” he repeated, cocking his head to the side as he studied me.
My lower lip trembled as I fought the tumult within … but I wouldn’t mar our relationship with any more lies. I had to be honest with him now—and always. “The high mages heard how you called all of the shifters back to the island. They know you’ll be a strong leader, and some of them are worried you’ll be too strong.” I thought of Kian and Snade’s words from only a short time before. “A threat.”
“Too strong?” Rage sat back on the bed, staring at me with an intensity that held none of our former passion. “Too strong for what?”
I swallowed, my chest still heaving with each breath, but the dam had burst, and now fear held me in its icy grip. The awful truth of what the high mages wanted—and what they would do to preserve their way of life hit me like silver slugs to my chest. “They want total control. I think they had it with Declan—I’m sure they did—but you aren’t doing anything the way they think you should.”
“That’s their problem,” he snapped as if insulted that I’d even brought it up.
“Yes, but they said if I’m going to be going to school there, we can’t be bonded mates. That I’ll spy for you. I overheard them talking. If they break our mate bond before we seal it … it will be broken forever.”