He recoils as though those words are the most ridiculous ones he’s ever heard. “No.”
I study him for a beat. His bleach-blond hair is soaked with sweat, matted down against his forehead. Perspiration drips from his jaw. I note that his sweet scent remains—lime and coconut—but it’s a little salty too. Like maybe he bathes in margarita mix or some shit. I lick my lips, catching some of my own salty sweat on my tongue. His brown eyes are suddenly warm as they track the movement. The heat that burns in every muscle, bone, and lungs now travels to my groin. An uncomfortable twist in my stomach has me gasping in shock. As my dick thickens in my shorts—and he can clearly feel it—his eyes widen, and his pink lips part.
“Are you going to kill each other or what?” Naomi’s voice cuts the tension like a hot knife.
Alis slides off my lap as I scuttle backward away from him. My dick is hard and obvious as hell. Thank fuck it’s getting dark.
“Stay away from me,” I croak out at him, pointing an accusing finger his way. “Just because you like dick doesn’t mean you can try and force yours on me.”
“Right,” Alis throws back in a sarcastic tone. “That was all me. I’m a monster. What the fuck ever, Voss.”
He trots away like he didn’t just run his ass off all night. Before he gets too far away, he looks over his shoulder and shakes his head.
Naomi offers her hand to me, and after a second, I take it. Once I’m on steady feet, I lean in for a kiss, but she evades it.
“No.”
“No?” Shame creeps through me. “Why not?”
Did she see what happened? That I got fucking hard over that guy?
“Because,” she snips out icily. “You’ve lost your damn mind. That’s why.”
I rub my palm down over my face and let out a ragged sigh. “I can explain.”
But I can’t.
I don’t know what just happened.
One second I wanted to knock his head off his shoulders, and the next, my body reacted to the way he straddled me.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“I…” I trail off, my features falling.
“You can’t explain, but I can. You’re so damn angry that your dad is marrying Alis’s dad that you’re consumed by your hatred for him.”
Hatred.
Yes, that’s it.
I hate that fucker.
“Babe—”
“You don’t see it,” she snaps back, stepping away from my outstretched hand, “but I do. Ever since your dad left your mom last spring, you’ve been distant and emotionally detached. I’ve put up with it because I love you. This summer, though, it was worse. You were pissed off and out for blood. Now? You’re out of control. Don’t you see?”
I cross my arms over my chest and scowl. “I’m not out of control.”
“You’re stalking him!” Tears race down her cheeks, and a sob escapes her. Her voice is soft when she says it again. “Canyon, you’re stalking him.”
“I’m not,” I lie.
Fuck, I so am.
But it’s because I want them to pay!
“Babe—”
“No,” she hisses. “You’re going to stop this right now. Tomorrow, you’ll get your schedule changed back and talk to your coach about getting back on the football team—”
“I can’t!” I roar, throwing my hands in the air. “I can’t fucking do that, Nae!”
I shudder with barely contained anger. Not at Naomi. At them. This is all because of them. Dad. Quinn. And Alister.
“I see.” Nae forces a smile. “Then take me home. We’ve said all there is to say.”
A ball of anxiety forms in the pit of my stomach. I don’t like the sound of her voice. So resigned. As though…
“Are we breaking up?” My words come out shaky and soft. “Nae, baby, I—”
She hugs me even though I’m drenched in sweat. I squeeze her tight and kiss the top of her head. All my worries seem to dissipate until she pulls out of my embrace.
“Yeah, Canyon. I think we are.” She starts walking toward the gym. “I’ll wait by the car while you shower.”
“Naomi,” I call out, defeated. “Please.”
She whirls around and waves a hand in the air. “Are you going to quit all this?”
We have a silent stare down in the near dark. My heart rate has slowed from the running, but I’m sick to my stomach now. For so many reasons. Mainly, I think I’ve ruined my relationship with my girlfriend. Worse, because I won’t do what she wants to fix it.
Because this is more important.
Nae is my girlfriend, but this is for my family.
Mom and Carrie.
For me, dammit.
“That’s what I thought.” She swipes at a tear. “I hope you get help.”
“I don’t need help. I need to get even.”
“Which is why I can’t be with you. You’re not the guy I started dating a year ago. I’m sorry.”
“Nae…”
“Shower, Canyon. I’m tired and have a lot of homework to do. Please, let’s just go already.”
I prepare to say goodbye to the only girl I’ve ever really cared about.
The house is quiet when I get home. After inhaling a sandwich, I peek in on Mom. She’s fully dressed, still in her bakery uniform, lying on her bed. I bend down to kiss her forehead and then remove her shoes.
“You hungry, Mom?”
“No,” she murmurs, not opening her eyes. “Just tired.”
“If this job is too much, you should quit,” I offer. “Dad pays you alimony and child support. You have the money.”
She flinches at my words. “It’s not about the money, Canny. It’s about my self-worth.”
“I think you’re pretty amazing.” My words sound childish and lame, but it’s true.
“Thanks, baby.”
She doesn’t offer any other conversation, so I leave her be. I walk upstairs and sprawl out on my bed, scowling at my phone. I must be a glutton for punishment because I scroll through the pictures on my phone, agonizing over the fact I just broke up with Nae. It’ll be news all over the school tomorrow. I’m surprised Carrie hasn’t found out already through Paige and reamed me for it. Once I’ve looked through enough happy pictures of Naomi and me to make my chest physically hurt, I try to channel the pain into anger.
This is Alister’s fault.
I find him on Instagram fairly easily enough. Someone tagged him in a video from orchestra class today. Once again, I’m stunned speechless at the incredible skill he possesses. If I didn’t hate him so much, I would’ve told him that today after I overheard him flawlessly playing the solo.
I exit the video to nose through his pictures. He makes a lot of flirty, corny faces that make my gut churn with discomfort. Ever since high school started, he’s been bleaching his hair. I think it looks kind of dumb and obvious he’s not a real blond since he always has inch-long dark roots. There are pictures of him in middle school, where he had brown hair. He looks more withdrawn in those pictures. I don’t remember much of him because he didn’t hang out with my crowd of people. The times I did see him when our dads hung out, I played games on my phone or watched episodes of Mubōna Ikari. I certainly didn’t talk or pay attention to him.