I’m sure they never wanted it to end, but I’m happy they’re back. I’d started to miss my brother and Lux, and I also missed hanging out with Juno and Lux together. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed our friendship until it was missing. I don’t know how I went so long without having girlfriends because they really are vital.
“I love that it’s close to home,” Lux says as I follow her around the space.
“Me too. It’s the main reason I picked it. We can actually walk here if we want, but this office also gives us reserved parking as well. Plus, all the windows are amazing.”
“Do you think we need all this space, though?” Lux opens a door to another office.
“We don’t really need a whole floor, but location is key to making life easier. It’s big, but we’ll save so much time commuting, and if we want to expand at some point we could do so easily. Then we wouldn't have to up and move again or wait for something else to open in the building.” I don’t love the idea of growing, but it’s there. The whole point of breaking off from our last job was to downsize clients and work less.
“You do realize you both cringed at the idea of expanding,” Juno says with a laugh.
Had we?
“I mean, I want this to succeed, but at what price?” Lux says.
I know what she’s getting at. When she met my brother, he was work obsessed, and she doesn't want him falling back into that pattern. I have no doubt that with Lux in his life, she’ll always come before everything. I can’t help the jealousy I feel in that, but it’s the way it should be.
I’d forgiven Luca for ditching me the morning after. And I didn’t tell him that it still bums me out that I had to wake up alone the morning after I lost my virginity. I really shouldn't be pissed, because he’s gone out of his way to try and make it up to me. I missed his sweet gesture that next morning because of my anger and hurt. Still, I wonder if this will be my life with him. Will he always sneak out of bed before I wake up? I’m worried I want more than he’s willing to give, and I don’t want to be clingy. I’ve realized how much of a hold he has on me already, and what if it only gets worse?
“I agree. Maybe we can use the space for something else?” I suggest.
“Before we move on, what’s on your mind? You seemed excited about this place but hesitant at the same time.” Of course Juno catches that. “Does it have something to do with Luca?” She wiggles her eyebrows.
We’d waited for Lux and my brother to get back before we told everyone about Luca and me. They were happy for us, even when I was worried Bastian might try to act like a big brother and be protective over me. Maybe he did behind closed doors, but he told me the way I light up when Luca’s around showed him all he needed to know.
“I still can’t believe you and Luca are dating.” Lux’s excitement nearly bubbles over.
“Dating” sounds so tame for what we’re doing. Luca has brought up getting married a few times, but I put the brakes on. There’s no way I was getting engaged without my brother even knowing that I was dating anyone. They only got back from their honeymoon a few days ago. So now I’m wondering if Luca’s going to pop the question soon.
“No, it’s not about Luca exactly. I’m with Lux. I don’t want to fall back into work like Bastian and I did before. I also don’t want to hinder growth if that’s what everyone else wants. I’ll have to take a less active role if that’s the case. I know I give my brother a hard time about how work ruled his life, but the reality is, I was right there by his side,” I admit.
I’ve been enjoying the downtime because I didn’t realize how much I’d been missing out on in life. I had no friends or social life whatsoever. Now I have Luca and a growing family, and that’s where I want to focus my attention. I know better than most that time with family can be fleeting. You need to hold on to every moment, which is why I believe I worked so much before. It was a way for Bastian and me to be together all the time. He was all I had, but things have changed. So maybe it’s time to change even more.
“I agree. We can turn one of the extra rooms into a nursery and nix the whole expanding thing for now,” Lux declares, clapping her hands together. Juno and I stare at her with wide eyes. “What? You don’t like that idea?” She starts to fidget with her hair.
“Lux, what are you saying?” Juno demands, and Lux bites her lip to hide a smile.
“I was going to tell everyone at Sunday dinner, but I can’t wait any longer. I’m pregnant!” she announces.
“Oh my gosh!” Juno is jumping up and down. “Me too!”
“What?” Lux and I both shout at the same time. Holy crap, I’m going to be an aunt.
A deep longing hits me, and even though I know it’s too soon for babies, Luca and I haven't exactly been careful about using protection. If anything, we’ve been ignoring it completely. Luca knows what it could lead to, but we’ve never talked about children. I’m not sure he’s ready for something like that with how much he’s invested in his work.
We lie in bed for hours talking every night. I know so much about him, but the mention of kids has never been there. My stomach starts to turn, and a queasy feeling takes over.
“This is so awesome,” Juno says with a smile lighting up her face. “We get to be preggo together.” They both go in for a hug.
“Now it’s your turn,” Lux declares, narrowing her eyes on me.
“I don’t think your brother is ready for all that,” I say, and Lux scrunches her nose.
“The way he is with you is nothing like I’ve ever seen before. What he wants might surprise you. I know everything I thought I wanted changed when I met Bastian.” Lux grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.
“Is there a chance you could be pregnant already?” Juno asks. How the hell does she keep seeing right through me?
“I suppose.” I give a shrug, not wanting to get excited about something that isn't happening.
“Only one way to find out.” Lux pulls my hand and makes me go with her, not giving me a choice but to follow after her.
“Now?” My heart starts to race, and I’m not sure I’m ready to even find out.
“Why not now?” Juno pushes as we pass the realtor waiting at the front of the office.
“We’ll take it,” Lux tells the realtor as she keeps ushering me out the building.
Before I know it, I’m standing in Lux’s master bathroom with a stick in my hand, waiting to see if little blue lines pop up. It only takes a second before we see the lines staring back at me, and both Lux and Juno start cheering. I’m too shocked to join them. Motherhood wasn't something I thought would be in my future, but just like Luca, it came out of nowhere.
“You okay?” Juno asks when they realize I’m not cheering with them.
“It’s a lot, but I’m happy.” I put my hand on my stomach and all I can think about is what Luca is going to say.
“What are you ladies doing in th—” My brother trails off when he sees us all standing in the bathroom with our eyes filled with tears. He sees what I’m holding and then he walks straight to me and pulls me in for a hug.