No matter how much this city changes, some things always stay the same. If memory serves me correctly, there’s a park two blocks up and one over.
Satisfaction sets in as soon as I see tall trees and soft grass covering the ground. I remember coming here with my grandmother when I was little since it was near the dance studio. I’d dance barefoot, and she’d clap as if I was the star of the ballet. I wasn’t. I was quite terrible. I could blend in at the circus since the audience was watching the acrobats and the trapeze artists.
I find a spot under a tree and reach inside my satchel to dig out my lunch. My hand hits paper that crinkles under my touch, and I pull it out. I’d forgotten about the muffin because my morning has been so busy, but I’m pleasantly surprised to find the treat. Looking inside the bag, I find two. I’d forgotten he’d ordered one. Apparently, he forgot as well.
And now he’s on my mind again. Too bad he’s not here, or I’d share. Taking a big bite, too big to be proper, I attempt to chew.
“Juni?”
With him on my mind, my heart races, and for a brief second, I think it might be Andrew. It wouldn’t be a total surprise since I feel like we’re stalking each other at this point.
I am disappointed, though, when I discover it’s not him. Unfortunately. If my mouth wasn’t so full, I’d be able to say his name, but seeing a beautiful brunette on my ex’s arm has me chewing a little slower. This muffin is a good excuse to hold my tongue.
Raising my hand, I mumble with a full mouth, “Hi.”
When it comes to Karl, etiquette goes out the window.
I once trusted him. Of course, I did. He was the boy in the spotlight beside me, the one standing next to me on every stage as we presented our findings, the plant species we were studying, and whispering words of reassurance when my knees knocked from nerves. It didn’t matter that he was also my biggest competitor.
I may not have set out to become a prodigy in the field, but it was in my blood to follow in my parents’ footsteps. And from his own sheer determination, he was right there with me. We were young and talented in a field populated with botanists much older than we were. When no one else understood what we were going through, we relied on each other.
He’s also one of the reasons I struggle to get too deeply involved—with work or in relationships. I’ll never know if it was greed, ambition, or fame going to his head that made him do it, but I’ll never forget what true betrayal feels like.
It’s been eight years. I’ve read enough periodicals to know he succeeded and seen photos to recognize the changes I see in him now. I don’t need to put on a show or pretend we’re friends. We’re not. I know that as much as he does. But I still have one lingering question for him. “Was stabbing me in the back worth it?”
When shame flashes through his eyes, he releases the woman’s hand and shoves his in the front pockets of his jeans. For a moment, I almost expect him to say something kind. “Still bitter, Juni?”
I expected too much. “No,” I answer honestly. “You did me a favor.”
“How so?”
Tossing the rest of the muffin back in the bag, I push off the ground and dust my backside. I pull the straps of the bag onto my shoulders and cross my arms over my chest. “If I’d won, I wouldn’t be free.”
It wasn’t a great comeback or even the one that had played out in my head for the last eight years. There was never going to be a reward or revenge, but it felt good to finally get that off my chest.
I didn’t live up to expectations, and even worse, I crashed and burned when it was my moment to shine. But as I walk across the grass with him standing there stunned, I don’t have one regret leaving that life behind.
6
Andrew
“Commitment is the foundation of a business. Trust builds it.” My father’s voice fills the office.
“Did you start the jacuzzi, Corbin?” My mom’s voice is heard in the background. “I brought the piña coladas.”
Eyeing my brother sitting across from me, I rattle my head, needing that image out of it. Nick silently gags, so I finally say, “Sounds like you two have a busy night. We’ll talk soon, Dad.”
“Hello, Andrew,” my mom sings in the background. “How are you, honey?”
“Good, Mom. Busy, but that’s typical.”
The sound of water splashing, and her giggles follow. “Hope not too busy. New York has so much to offer if you just give yourself some time to discover it.”
“I know. I know,” I say, sighing. “But it’s a busy time of year, so—”
“So schmo, Andrew. Tell your brother to take you out. He’s lived there for years, he probably knows all the great places.”
My eyes dart to Nick, who shakes his head, and then mouths, “Don’t do it.”
I hate sacrificing my brother, but I need the deterrent from my life. “Actually, Nick’s right here.” I shrug, inwardly chuckling.
She asks, “Nicholas?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“How’s Natalie?”
“Wow, that’s how it is now? I give you the daughter you always wanted, and you give me the cold shoulder.”
Both of my parents laugh. Water sloshes, and then my dad finally pipes back in, “It’s not like that at all, son. Your mom talks about you all the time. When are you coming for a visit?”
“We’re thinking next month.”
My mom replies, “That works for us. The weather’s been beautiful.”
“It’s California,” Nick says, “the weather is always beautiful.”
She says, “And your sarcasm is duly noted.” Not letting anything bring down her mood, she splashes my dad from the sound of it.
Nick adds, “Sorry. You’re right. The weather here has been a nice change from winter. I need to talk to my bosses about splitting my time between LA and New York for the seasons.”
I say, “Your boss is right here.”
“I’d love that,” my mom replies. “I miss both of you so much. Nick, you should take your boss out for drinks. You know, schmooze him.”
Listening to her plot with my brother is entertaining. They go back and forth before he asks her, “What have you been up to?”
“I started doing sunrise yoga on Thursdays again.” We nod as she continues, “Oh, and Andrew might be interested in this. Are you still there?”
“I’m here.”
“I saw Megan and Dalen Dalery at The Polo Lounge last week. She just recovered from a brow lift and looked refreshed.”
Nick’s eyes dart to mine, and he asks, “Dalen had a brow lift?”
“No, her mother, Megan, silly. Dalen is much too young for that. Speaking of Dalen, she looked so pretty in a pink dress. Do you and Dalen still talk, Andrew?”
“Not much, but I get an occasional text here and there.” It’s strange how a sexual relationship can turn into a platonic friendship, but it did for us. After a few months, we realized the sex was great, but we didn’t see a long-term relationship working out. The friendship was good, though. I think that’s why it was easy for us to stay friends. I don’t tell my mom that Dalen sends me texts with photos of her friends in hopes to set me up on a date. The last thing I want my mom to do is team up with my ex to play matchmaker for me.