“Then what do you want?” I asked hoarsely. I wasn’t sure I was ready for the answer, but I knew we would never heal if we didn’t go through the pain of this honesty together.
“In an ideal world? I would have you both. The way it was when we were all together. I’d never felt more free or happy in my entire life. I know it’s not possible, but I wish that we hadn’t stopped being together. I wish you’d let us explore it for a little while longer. To see where the feelings could take us.”
I swallowed. I was relieved that she didn’t want our marriage to end, but how could I answer what her heart called for and not decimate my own?
“Ryan, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she said, laughing. “Brighton, can you get him some water?”
“Sure,” he said, heading to the kitchen.
“I didn’t mean we have to go back to the way it was. But you asked me to be honest. And that’s the god’s honest truth. I wasn’t ready for it to end when it did. But it did. So now we need to figure out how to work through all these feelings that are still here, left behind, suspended in midair. Because me stuffing them away clearly did not work,” she said, grimacing. “I never meant to hurt you or lie to you. I was trying to protect us both until I felt strong enough to tell you all of this. I was afraid, Ryan.”
“Afraid of what?” I gratefully accepted the glass of water from Kerrington’s outstretched hand.
“I was terrified that if I told you the truth, that if I asked you to keep our bedroom and our hearts open to Brighton, that you would think badly of me. That you would judge me for now wanting another man in bed with us. Or worse, that it would make you want to leave me.”
I set the water down and pulled Liv onto my lap like I’d wanted to do all evening. “Oh, Livy. Don’t you know by now I would do anything to make you happy?”
A tear slid down her cheek and I brushed it away, her skin soft beneath the pad of my thumb.
“But I can’t be happy unless we are happy. And I wouldn’t want to do anything that would push you away, or make you love me less.”
“Baby girl, there is nothing on this earth that would cause me to love you less. Even lying. Deep down, I knew why you did what you did. It doesn’t make it right, though. And I never want it to happen again. But I never stopped loving you. I hurt because I loved you too much still.”
She lowered her head and our breaths mingled between our lips. My heart pounded in my chest, and I’d never felt closer to her. She still loved Brighton. But her love didn’t feel any less for me. That knowledge sunk my heart even deeper, and I closed the space between us, drawing her lips to mine. The same electricity passed between us that always did, and I felt like I could finally breathe again. She was mine, and would always be, no matter what the future held for the three of us.
I heard Kerrington clear his throat behind us. I slid my hands in Olivia’s hair and kissed her even deeper, sticking my middle finger up at him behind her head. I heard him chuckle and was happier than I’d been in a long time.
Liv pulled back and blushed, her cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.
“Since I think he’s feeling a little left out, where does all of this leave Kerrington?”
Liv chewed on her lower lip. “Where does it leave any of us?”
Brighton stood up and crossed the room, pulling up an ottoman and sitting in front of us so we could talk easier.
“We’ve all made mistakes,” he said. “We all invested a little more than any of us realized we would when this started. Though, to be fair . . .”
“Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled. “You and Liv both tried to warn me.”
Kerrington laughed, and the room felt instantly lighter. Damn Brighton Effect.
“Ryan and I talked earlier, Olivia. We’ve hashed out some of our stuff. It was nice to hear him admit that he didn’t think enough about where this would leave me when all was said and done.”
“Where does it leave you?” she asked him.
I wanted to kick myself for putting her in this position to be so vulnerable. I could see the longing etched on her face just as clearly as the worry.
“I don’t know. I told my sister to put the house sale on hold until I could make sure you were okay. Until we could figure all this out.”
Olivia grimaced. “On Friday, I got so jealous when I saw you walking toward us with her because I didn’t know that’s who she was at the time. She’s so beautiful, and I was shocked that you would bring a woman to an open house you knew I was going to be at, even if we had asked you to move on. I know it’s not fair—like, at all. But my heart sank thinking of you moving on so fast.”
“Is that why you really sprinted out of there?” Brighton teased. “You were so distraught at the idea of me being with another woman that you nearly fainted?”
Oliva swatted at his leg, laughing.
“It put things into perspective, that’s all. That, in combination with seeing that sweet, little family. It was too much for me to handle. I started thinking of all the things we’d miss out on with our babies. I let myself get consumed with the grief of what could never be again—only this time, it wasn’t just our future and our babies. It was also the idea of never seeing you again. The fear of having your heart be permanently with someone else. Which I know is unfair. You deserve to start over. To have a wife. To fall in love and get married with someone who can—”
“Liv,” Kerrington said as he leaned forward to cup Olivia’s face in his hands. He glanced toward me and I nodded. I knew he loved her. He didn’t need to say it. We would work out what that all meant later. But the longer I tried to deny it, the more it ended up hurting us.
Maybe accepting it was enough to finally set us all free.
Chapter Ten
Brighton
LIV WOULDN’T STOP rambling about what she thought was best for me. So, I did the one thing I knew would get her to shut up. I dropped my mouth to hers and feasted on the delicious taste of her full lips. I swiped my tongue along her mouth, parting it for the first time since we’d been alone together. I hadn’t dared allow myself to touch her like this since then. To cave. To crave. To lose myself all over again.
A moan swelled from deep inside Olivia, and it only made me want to taste her more. I pulled her to a stand and deepened the kiss. Her hands went to my chest as she finally kissed me back with equal passion and longing.
Then, just as abruptly, she pulled away. She turned to Ryan, mortified at what she’d just done. “Ryan—I didn’t mean to—”
“Liv, it’s okay,” he said, standing too.
“It is?”
She looked back and forth between us. What she didn’t realize was that he’d given me tacit permission in that one simple look that passed between us. Just as easily as Liv and I were able to communicate on a deeper level with our eyes, so were me and Ryan. We just seemed to know what the other was thinking. Maybe that’s why it worked so easily with the three of us in the bedroom. Or maybe it was because of our time there. But the two of us had gotten used to communicating silently for Olivia’s benefit. And we’d gotten exceptionally good at it.