"I'm that irresistible?"
"You know you are." She winks then she turns to her family and follows Ty and Indigo into the modern skyscraper.
Chapter Five
Cam
Always a dutiful sister, Indigo walks Sienna to her place. It's only three flights down the stairs, but Ty assures me they'll be there awhile.
We pour another round—gin on the rocks again—and we settle on the terrace.
It's not the Ty I've known my entire life. It's like the rest of his flat—changed by his fiancée.
The lush plants, the string lights, the view of Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Statue of Liberty—
That's Indigo.
He's different now. Happy in an entirely new way. As if he's transcended normal bliss and found a new plane of it. One off-limits to the rest of us.
We sit.
I raise my glass to toast.
Ty laughs, still drunk and cheerful and thinking of fucking his fiancée. "Have you finally run out of ways to brag for me?"
"Would you prefer I not bring up your ability to make your fiancée come?"
He smiles you're ridiculous.
"To you, Ty, thinking with your cock."
He shakes his head of course and taps his glass against mine. "Is that really what you think?"
"That's what brought you back to her."
"Maybe."
"And she's more of a freak than you are. It's impressive you found that."
He actually blushes. "Fuck off."
"You're welcome."
He takes a long sip. Sets his glass on the table. Studies me. "You don't fool me, Cam. I've seen the playboy act before."
"What act?"
He shakes his head it's all bullocks and takes a sip. "I don't need you happy for me."
"I am."
"You don't—"
"I am, Ty. You're practically my brother." I owe him a lot. Everything. "I'm happy you found someone to fuck."
"Arsehole."
"If I told you I was happy you found someone to love, you'd hug me. But this makes me an arsehole?"
"No. You being an arsehole makes you an arsehole."
"Profound logic."
He takes a long sip. "I'm proud of it."
"If I'm proud you finally admitted what you want."
"Fuck off." He looks away, suddenly shy.
"I am," I say. "It takes strength."
"I said fuck off."
"You're embarrassed."
"You're covering."
"You're still embarrassed," I say.
He shakes his head you're ridiculous again, takes a long sip, turns his attention to the city.
Is he so drunk he's desperate to express a profound truth?
Or is it something else?
"Is that really what you think of me and Indigo?" His voice is soft. He's treading carefully. "Is that how you see relationships?"
I'm not in the mood. I don't want to discuss my fucked-up head. I'm not taking his bait "You want to fuck her. She wants to fuck you. Why not celebrate that?"
"I love her."
"I know."
"But you really don't understand it." He takes a long sip. "Do you?"
"Is this the conversation you want to have right now?" I ask.
"Why do you think I asked?"
"You know the situation, Ty." I swallow hard. "What else is there to say?"
"Are you sure you can handle this?"
"Your wedding? Of course."
"Keeping Sienna company," he says.
"She's a teenager."
"I'm not worried about her."
He's not worried she wants to fuck me. He's worried I want to fuck her. My shoulders tense.
"I know you, Cam. When your head is a mess, you find someone to fuck."
"Fuck you, Ty."
"And then you hate her and you hate yourself and you try to erase it with someone else."
I say nothing.
"She likes you."
I know. I shouldn't care that she likes me, but I do.
"I see the way you look at her."
"I can control myself." There's no conviction in my voice.
"You're different around younger women. I know it's because of what happened with Winter. But—"
"Fuck you, Ty."
"I don't mean that you'd cross the line."
"It's not the same. She's an adult."
"She's eighteen."
"Not fourteen." My fingers curl into the glass. I should throw the fucking thing at his head. "And I'm not her coach."
"You're supposed to be protecting her."
Fuck him. "Go to hell." I stand.
He grabs my wrist. "I'm sorry."
Ty doesn't say sorry. Is he that drunk? Or does he actually see his error?
How dare he compare me to Winter.
How dare he bring that up.
"I don't care that you're drunk, Ty. You promised—"
"You're right. I'm sorry."
I suck in a shallow breath.
"Sit. Please."
I can't sit. I can't move. I'm frozen. The way I always am when I think of her.
"It's not the same. You're right."
My eyes go to his wrist. "I don't want to fuck you. The Dom thing isn't going to work on me."
He releases my arm.
I sit. Suck the last drop of gin from my glass.
His voice is careful, slow, like I'm a wounded animal, and he's trying to avoid scaring me. "You're already losing your shit."
I am.
"There are two weeks until the wedding and you're already losing your shit."
"I can handle it."
"Are you sure? I can ask someone else." His voice stays soft. "I understand."
"I have it under control," I lie.
He looks at me like he doesn't believe me, but he still offers his hand.
And I still shake.
Chapter Six
Sienna
Usually, I roll my eyes at Alice's no boys, no alcohol, no fun speech.
At the moment, I see her point.
Ugh.
Who invented drinking?
It's fun for a while, sure, but waking up the next day with a headache and a vague recollection of telling your hot friend you'll bone him if he keeps flirting with you?
So much ugh.
I wash my face, tie my running shoes, attempt to look at the sky without squirming.
No good. It's too bright. A second glass of water helps, but not enough. My head continues to throb. My stomach stays queasy.
I didn't listen to Alice, and now I'm paying the price. But that doesn't mean I'm not a team player. I can still make it through my run. It's just a little more painful this way.
I fill the bottle Cam left yesterday, press the cool aluminum to my forehead, take the elevator to the street.
I walk the ten blocks to Battery Park, then I pick up the pace. Jog the loop. Set out for the path along the West side.