I open my eyes to find her squatting in front of me, holding my hands. The same way she’s done since we were young. “You’re in a lot of pain. How can I help you?”
I give her a reluctant nod. I hurt for Zeke more than I hurt for me, but it’s all the same. With the little courage I have I say, “I’ve hurt people by keeping this truth.”
I stare at our hands, then glance at the desk to the picture of our family. “I’ve kept myself hidden for years. At this point, I don’t know who I am anymore.”
“What can I do for you?”
I have no idea. It feels like I need to dig myself out of a tomb, extract the corpse, and see if I can revive it. “Is there any hope for people like me? Compulsive liars who live different lives to please the world?”
“There’s always hope, Eth. It’s a long road, but you can travel through any treacherous path and survive. We’ll be by your side.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“The kid in you is still scared that someone will kill you because you are who you are,” she states. “If the woman who was supposed to love you and protect you unconditionally almost did it, what can you expect from everyone else? It’s understandable. I thought you had gone through therapy.”
“I did until I stopped having nightmares. During those sessions, I learned to compartmentalize everything,” I state. “Since then, anything that upsets me goes inside one of those imaginary boxes. I never figured out how to deal with them. I’m thirty years old and just realizing that I’m the same fucking mess I was at sixteen.”
“Recognizing you have a problem is a good first step,” she says, giving me that hopeful smile only Hannah can provide to make everything less daunting. “We’ll find a good counselor to help you overcome your fears. There are health care facilities and retreats, like the one I went to after Davis died, where they can help you. I don’t care if we lose the company because people can’t accept you. All I want is your happiness.”
“You’re always looking after us, but what about you? What can I do for you?” I stand up, pull her to me, and give her a hug. “Are you answering Alex’s calls?”
She shrugs. “I miss him, but it’s okay. He wasn’t the guy for me.”
“Do me a favor, Nana,” I request. “If he comes to you with an explanation, listen to him, okay. I dealt with Alex for the past year while you were gone. There’s something off about what happened between the two of you.”
She pushes me slightly and kisses my cheek. “I’m sad because the ending was hideous. But I’ll be okay. If anything, you might be spending the next weekend with me drinking wine, eating cookies, and watching cheesy movies.”
“Joy, my dream is finally coming true,” I say with a sarcastic voice. “Should I bring the nail polish?”
“No, but maybe the face masks. We’re having an at-home spa weekend.” She walks toward the door, stops, and says, “If you behave, we might binge-watch the Star Trek movies.”
“You just want to watch Chris Pine’s ass.”
She grins. “It’s a fine ass, and you know it.”
Chapter Six
Ethan
The following day, I’m called to the reception area. I have a visitor and a delivery. I run to the elevator. My heart can’t take any more of this fast and slow pace that I’ve been dealing with since the Zeke incident. I’m going to go into cardiac arrest before I figure out a way to get him to forgive me.
What the fuck happened?
Did Zeke decide to check himself out, and Beacon is downstairs with bad news?
I’m almost out of breath when I reach the reception area. I find a huge flower arrangement, and next to it is Alex Spearman.
He might be an inch taller than me, but I’m going to beat the shit out of him for scaring me. “Why did you make me come all the way downstairs, Spearman?”
“She put me on the fucking blacklist,” he answers. “Did you know that?”
This is news to me. Since when did we start a blacklist? I shake my head and ask the security team. They confirm that Alex is not allowed in the building. If it weren’t because he’s been hanging out with us for the past year as if he were part of the group, taking care of Draco Meowfoy, Nana’s cat, and writing her love letters, I’d ask security to kick his ass before escorting him out of the building. But I know how much he loves her, and she loves him just the same.
They are meant to be together. If I can do something to help my friend get her happily ever after, I’ll do it. She deserves it after all the shit she’s gone through. Still, I’ll make him squirm.
“You fucked up,” I remind him.
“Don’t you think I know?” He presses his head with both hands and lets out a loud breath. “I need just one chance to explain myself. It was a fucking misunderstanding. I was trying to steer the press away from her.”
“I should kick your ass and kick you out of here,” I threaten him.
He glances at me and grins. “No offense, but you’ll be the one kissing the floor if we get into a fight. Not that I would do it. She’d kill me. I do agree that you should put me out on the streets, but then you’ll be denying her the pleasure of doing it herself. Or, if by some miracle she happens to forgive me, I’ll be in your debt—forever.”
I grab the flowers and tilt my head toward the elevator bank. “Come on, Spearman. Let’s watch you grovel.”
“Thank you, man. I owe you.”
If this works, Hannah might leave Seattle again. It’s okay though, I don’t need her in the office next door. Though, I do need my friend.
“So, are you planning on swooping her away from Seattle?”
“Nah, I’m moving here,” he says as we step inside the elevator. I sigh with relief, and I’m sure her family will too. “She needs to be home. I’m glad that, in a way, I pushed her back to where her family is.”
“If it wasn’t because you hurt her, I’d say thank you.”
He leans on the wall and looks at the ceiling for a moment. “I made a fucking mess out of everything, but I’ll make it up to her. Even if it takes me a lifetime.”
I understand him. We all do stupid shit in the name of love. We act stupidly, not thinking that our actions will hurt those we love the most. I’m the last person who has the right to judge him.
When we reach the top floor, we go toward Hannah’s office. We stop in front of it, and he hands me a card and says, “Can you deliver them first, please? If she smashes them against the window, then I’ll leave quietly.”
“She’d never harm a flower,” I inform him while reading the card.
Unicorn,
Happy Birthday,
UNT
Alex
“Wow, you went all the way out with this note. I can publish it and call it the most romantic love note in the history of the world.”
He glares at me, then he hands me an envelope. “After that, give her this.”
Knowing Hannah, she’s going to love the gesture. The guy knows her so well. “I can do that. I’ll even put in a good word if it’s needed,” I promise.