“What makes you think I want you, Mick?” She wrapped her arms around her middle to stave off the chill that was consuming her.
“Your eyes follow me, pequeñita. A blind man would see that.” He sighed and ran his injured hand over his head. “I gotta go. You—you’re too good for the likes of me, and that’s only one of the reasons you need to stop thinking you have feelings for me. Find a guy your age and just...live.”
Tiana watched as Mick turned toward the living room and left, his quiet footfalls barely audible as he walked out of the house. She held herself upright by sheer will until the door shut behind him. She waited another thirty seconds, counting slowly in her mind before walking to the door and turning the lock. She then made her way to her room, glad that her sister and King had decided to use their basement suite to do their thing. God, she couldn’t even think of what they were doing without blushing. How the hell did she think she could seduce Mick, a man who was years older with more experience than her. Her only experience had been...horrific. She hadn’t told her sister or anyone else, except Doc who was sworn to secrecy, what she’d endured. They thought she’d been rescued before she’d been violated. How wrong they were. Her stomach rolled, nausea threatening to bubble back up as memories tried to surface. Tiana fought them back like she always did. She’d mastered the art of denial, mastered the ability of shoving them into the cell she’d created in her mind. She’d thought she could be with Mick, was sure he would be the one she could finally give herself to, freely, of her own will.
“It’s fine, it’s fine. Everything is fine,” she whispered to herself, looking around the bedroom she’d been given. The turquoise walls had been painted by her and Ayesha the third month they’d lived there. Her bed, the large, white, queen four poster bed, which was expensive as all get out, was a gift from King and Duke. They’d let her pick out the set with the matching dressers and vanity.
Her vanity was littered with makeup that she hadn’t put away after she’d put on her face, thinking if she looked older, then Mick wouldn’t treat her like a kid. “Stupid girl,” she growled. She marched across the room, her feet sinking into the plush rug that she’d found online. It was turquoise like her walls and beautiful, with oranges and pinks in a Mandela like pattern that had again, cost a pretty penny. Now, she didn’t see it, couldn’t through the tears running silently down her cheeks.
The makeup mocked her.
What she’d thought would make her appear older, mature, did nothing but make him run after telling her she was a child. Oh, she pretended to not understand Spanish, but she understood some. “Fucking asshole.” She swiped her arm across the vanity, sending the palettes she’d used along with the brushes onto the rug below.
Through the mirror she stared at her reflection, seeing the mascara she’d applied smeared from her tears and the carefully applied foundation and blush showing streaks as well. “I look like a clown. No wonder he thought I was a child. Here I am, playing dress up for a man who will never see me as anything but a broken girl. Fucking damaged goods.”
Tiana took a deep, calming breath, then went into the bathroom that adjoined her bedroom. Although there was another bedroom on the other side, only she used the bathroom. She supposed if they had a guest sleep over, and they were to stay in that room, they’d be allowed to use her bathroom. She looked around at all her things, another pang of not belonging hit her. This was Ayesha’s home, not hers. Sure, she could stay here for as long as she wanted, but in the end, this was not her forever home. She didn’t truly belong here. She didn’t belong anywhere.
Shoving a fist in her mouth to stop the sob, she bit down on the knuckles until she couldn’t stand the pain. “Stop being a little crybaby bitch, Tiana. God, nobody likes a whiner.” Well, there were men who liked to make girls cry, but again, she wasn’t going to think of that.
Her little pep talk had her shifting her shoulders backward.
First things first, she needed to wash her face. She turned the faucet on as hot as she could stand it, then put a washcloth under the scalding water. Her fingers burned from the heat, but she didn’t wince. She was done crying and allowing herself to be a little baby. She wasn’t going to let anyone be able to call her pequeñita ever again.
Minutes later, her face red from scrubbing, she went back into her room and cleaned her mess up. She stripped out of the outfit she’d worn. She stood in the middle of her bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of pink panties. In the corner stood a full-length mirror she’d avoided looking at herself for too long, but now she looked and truly saw herself.
The tattoo she’d gotten was magnificent. It covered his mark. Her marks weren’t visible above the panty line of most of her underwear, and since she didn’t see herself getting naked around anyone anytime soon, her secret was safe.
Tiana ran her fingers over her thigh, again retreating from things she didn’t want to think about and concentrating on those she did. Lux had said she’d never had a client draw their own design and it actually be usable without her tweaking it. She’d also been amazed that Tiana had fallen asleep during the three-hour session, especially with the placement. Again, Tiana was used to pain, which was one of the reasons she’d had the tattoo placed where it was. Lux had been a little startled at the scars, but she hadn’t said a word, and for that, Tiana would forever be grateful. Her sister had been too close and would’ve overheard if Lux had asked. With one little shake of her head and a quick placement of her hand over the area, Lux had only nodded then began.
“Your initials are gone, fucker.” She pressed on the spot where the half butterfly lay near her groin area. Lux used a heavy hand to cover what had been there beautifully. Tiana had felt the needle, but she’d floated away, letting her mind wander. It’s what she’d learned to do. How she coped. Ayesha thought she’d only been taken the once, but the reality was...that was the last time, not the first. She’d been stupid and naïve. She hadn’t realized Rico, the guy she’d been talking to hadn’t loved her, or that he hadn’t been the young man he’d pretended to be. The only reason she met with him again was because he had video of what they’d done. That wasn’t why she’d gone the last time. No, he’d threatened to do the same to her sister. She didn’t know he’d planned to sell her, but she’d still have gone if it saved Ayesha. In the beginning, he’d told her she was special. God, she’d been so stupid.
“Stop it, Tiana Marie. You are not that same girl anymore. He’s gone. Traeger killed him.” Yeah, but how could she move forward if nobody around her allowed her to grow up. Sure, she got to go on outings if she had a guard, or guards, but she wasn’t really allowed to be grown. In that moment, she realized she had to leave. With her realization, a weight lifted from her shoulders. Her heart pounded even as it ached with thoughts of not seeing her sister and little Legend daily, but for her own sanity, she’d have to find her own way. Away from California and the people who’d given her everything but what she needed, freedom.
MICK CURSED HIMSELF a fool all the way back to the clubhouse, his hand a barely noticeable throb. He knew he’d done the right thing, but the hurt in her eyes would forever haunt him.