Rooster
I didn’t hear from Ashley the day after I’d dragged out my family’s skeletons in some dumbass attempt to deepen my relationship with her. Usually she was blowing up my phone as soon as her family got home from church.
What the fuck was I trying to accomplish sharing that shit with her, anyway?
On Monday, she wasn’t waiting at my locker like she did every morning. I’d been so worried about myself, and what I’d revealed to her, that it didn’t occur to me until I was standing in front of my locker that maybe something bad had happened.
I sent her a text.
No response.
I called.
No answer.
Finally, she texted back.
Ashley: Can’t talk now.
Whatever.
I jammed my phone in my pocket and headed to class.
Maybe I was wearing an extra pissed-off expression but certain people seemed to move out of my way faster than usual. Or maybe paranoia was setting in.
The day passed without seeing Ashley.
Football practice was normal but the coach let us go early.
On Wednesday, I finally caught up to Ashley in the parking lot after school.
I stopped her before she slid into her car. “What’s going on with you?”
“Logan.” She tried to shut the door, but I gripped it and opened it wider.
“Talk to me,” I insisted.
She scanned the parking lot before stepping out of her car. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Nothing like being direct.
“You’re breaking up with me?” Inside, I was confused but not necessarily upset. A feeling similar to relief slid through me. I was still curious about why, although I should’ve guessed.
She reached into the car and dragged something off the front passenger seat. “Here.” She tossed my football jersey at me. The one she’d been so desperate to wear at the beginning of the season, she’d badgered me relentlessly until I gave it to her.
“What changed?” I balled the jersey in my fist without looking at it. “The other night you were talking about engagement rings.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin toward the right, staring somewhere over my shoulder. “I don’t think I can feel safe with you now.”
“Wait, what?” Her words stung as they sunk in. “When have I ever made you feel unsafe?”
Her lips screwed into a defiant pout. An expression I once found adorable but now brought the words spoiled princess to mind.
“What you told me.” She scanned the parking lot, then leaned in and lowered her voice. “About your dad? I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Welcome to my world.
I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut.
“A deeply traumatic experience like that when you’re a kid…that could have a big impact on your personality. Now or later. Who knows?”
I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re probably a walking time bomb. Murder and violence are in your DNA, Logan.”
I staggered away. “You think…I’d hurt you?” Holy shit. I thought maybe she’d think my family history was too trashy to be associated with her snooty one. But I never, ever thought she’d think I’d hurt her.
She shrugged. “I’d rather not take the chance.”
“Wow.” My heart thundered and heat crept over my skin. “That’s…” I had no words, only the relentless throb of shame pounding through my skull.
“It makes me uncomfortable,” she continued, battering my soul. “Being around you now. I mean, what if you snap and do the same thing to me one day?”
Each word hit me like a sledgehammer to the stomach. I held up my hands in surrender. No more explanations needed. “Okay.”
“It’s just…my mom said—”
“Wait, you told your mom?” Her mother was the biggest damn gossip in town.
“Well, I was scared, so yeah.”
All those voices in my head telling me it was a mistake to trust Ashley had been right after all. “I trusted you, Ashley. I thought we…” Nah, I shouldn’t even say it because it’s a lie.
She stepped closer. “What?”
I backed away, putting my hands in the air. “Never mind. It’s all good. Thanks for telling me.” I wasn’t going to beg her to reconsider. What she said already cut on a deeper level than I’d ever admit to anyone.
Because sometimes I wondered the same things about myself.
Chapter Thirteen
Shelby
I’m so outraged, I don’t even know where to begin. “What a horrible thing to say to you. I wish I’d slapped the shit outta her before we left. I woulda showed her the meaning of violent.”
Rooster’s mouth slowly curves up but sadness still clouds his eyes. “In hindsight, it was a heavy story to lay on a teenage girl—”
“Bullcrap,” I spit out. Lord knows I’d said and done some dumb stuff when I was sixteen. Heck, stupid stuff still flies out of my mouth more often than I like to admit. But I’d never say anything as downright cruel and heartless to anyone. Let alone someone I care about. “Logan, look at me.”
He meets my eyes and cocks an eyebrow.
“You can always share anything with me.” I rest my palm over his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He leans in and brushes a soft kiss over my lips. “Thank you.”
I press my forehead to his and we rub our noses together. “You’ve shown me who you are over and over.” I tip my head up to meet his eyes. “I’ve never felt safer in my life than when I’m in your arms.”
He swallows hard and tucks a wild piece of hair behind my ear, stopping to stroke my cheek for a minute. “She was right to some extent.”
“Horse feathers.” There’s no way I’ll ever believe he’d intentionally hurt someone he cared about.
He flashes a quick smile then turns serious again. “I’m not saying this to make myself sound like I’m such a great guy, because I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” I insist.
“Whatever violence is in my DNA has always been triggered by people like my dad. I can’t stand men who bully those weaker than them or ones who threaten and hurt women.”
“Oh, I remember how you went after Brad for disrespectin’ me and those guys in the bar peekin’ up my dress.” I lightly trace my finger over his chest. “But I think you had that protective streak long before…what happened. You tried to look out for your mom. And it sounds like you protected Jiggy when you guys were kids.”
“Protected him? Or protected people from him?” He huffs a laugh and shakes his head.
“Your mom,” my voice breaks but I push through to get the thought out, “sounds like a she was a gentle soul with a good heart. I think all that goodness in you came from her.”
He takes my hands between his and rubs vigorously, warming my fingers. “I’ve done stuff…participated in things for my club that were not good, Shelby. I need you to understand that about me.”