Life was the best it had ever been, but it meant nothing knowing what I did to achieve that happiness. Knowing that Punky was rotting away because of my betrayal.
For this reason, once my mom and Eva were settled, I came back here and picked up where I left things. I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t move on with Punky being where he was. Rory and Cian were trying desperately to help Punky, but he still refused all visitors.
That is when Rory and I grew closer. We both shared the same pain—we missed Punky, and that’s what we bonded over. We found solace in the other as it felt good being with someone who Punky once loved.
I eventually accepted that I may never see Punky again, and that’s when I let Rory in. It was difficult at times; I suppose it still is. But being with Rory is easy. He has a very good job as an IT specialist. He had given up the life of crime because, without Punky, there wasn’t a business to run.
And Brody Doyle, my father, ensured the Davieses and the Walshes knew their reign was over. It was his turn to rule both Belfast and Dublin. Without the Kellys, we had no choice but to start over. Most would say I should be thankful for the fact, but it’s hard to forget someone who has given you so much to remember them by.
I have commuted back and forth between America and Northern Ireland for the past ten years. But when I accepted Rory’s proposal, I knew I would call Northern Ireland my home, and I thought I was okay with that. But now that Punky is out…I don’t know how to feel.
I never finished my performing arts degree because I couldn’t commit to it. I’ve made it my life goal to help set Punky free. Because of this, I don’t have a career like Darcy does. Back home, I work any job that pays.
As I only worked casual jobs, it allowed me to travel between here and America without having to worry about taking time off. I just quit and looked for another job when I went back home.
I shaped my life around Punky because deep down, I didn’t feel deserving to live a full, prosperous life while he wasted away alone. But now that he’s out, I can’t help but look back on the last ten years with regret.
I would have done so many things differently. But I can’t change the past.
“There ya are,” Rory says, wrapping his arm low around my waist.
His colleague and wife stop talking and offer their congratulations to Rory. I feel horrible as I haven’t listened to a word they’ve said.
Another group comes over, kissing our cheeks. Everyone is in good spirits, and I was too until a few minutes ago. Rory has picked up on my mood and politely makes up a lie as to why we have to leave. We walk through the packed room, and each step I take has my impending breakdown hastening.
Rory gently ushers me into the hallway, away from the guests. He hugs me softly. “Are ya all right?”
“Not really,” I confess into his shoulder. “I didn’t want Punky finding out this way. That’s why I wanted to tell—”
But Rory cuts me off. “Ach, I know. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I didn’t think Darcy would bring him here.”
I can’t help but narrow my eyes because I know she did that on purpose. But I don’t let my anger show. “What’s done is done. What did he say?”
I gently pull out of his arms, waiting for him to answer. When he sighs, I know the answer.
“He said he’s happy for us.”
“And,” I coax, knowing there is more.
“And that I’m to treat ya right. Otherwise, he’ll have no issues breakin’ my arm.”
I can’t help but smile.
“I was wrong not to tell him sooner. Can ya forgive me?”
I cup his cheek. “Rory, there’s nothing to forgive.”
“I know the timin’ isn’t great, but we couldn’t put our life on hold. We’ve already spent so much time—”
Now I’m the one to butt in. “I know. You’re right. There’s no need to explain.”
Rory places his hand over mine, his love for me reflecting in his poignant green eyes. He and Punky are opposites. Punky always had the bad-boy image down pat, while Rory was more conservative. I guess that’s why he, Punky, and Cian became best friends—opposites attract.
Rory’s father, Cormac Walsh, comes over, not hiding his distaste for me. Rory assures me he does like me, but we both know he’s lying. I think it’s because he thinks his son is too good for me, and he’s right.
His son deserves someone who isn’t as fucked up as me.
“We’re away to the ballroom. Let’s toast the happy couple.”
Rory nods while I smile, trying my best not to alert Cormac that I’m trembling inside.
Cian, Amber, and Hannah appear, wearing strained smiles on their faces. I know how hard this has been for Cian. He and Punky were always closer than Rory and Punky. I’d hate for him to think he has to pick a side.
Cian has been through so much. When his father took his own life, a part of him died too. We’ve all lost so much, and that’s thanks to the man I refuse to acknowledge as my father.
He may have met his end of the deal, but that doesn’t mean I’m grateful for what he did. He ruined our lives, and for what? For greed. He makes me sick. No wonder my mom wants nothing to do with him. And now that he’s the most powerful man in Ireland and Northern Ireland, he thinks he can buy my love.
I have no idea what he wants.
He has Erin and Liam, children who actually want to know him, but that hasn’t stopped him from sending flowers or texts, expressing his remorse for how things ended between us. He’s delusional if he thinks I’ll ever forgive him for what he did.
Thinking of his other child, Punky, the knot in my stomach only tightens.
Darcy and Punky make their way down the staircase, laughing about something. I hide my jealousy because he’ll never laugh like that with me. We lock eyes before he dismisses me, returning his attention to Darcy, who looks stunning.
They look amazing together. On his arm, she shines.
Punky says something into Cian’s ear. He laughs in response.
He doesn’t seem too upset to find out that I’m marrying his best friend. That’s a good thing, I remind myself. So why do I feel like bursting into tears?
I know the reason—because I don’t feel the same way looking at him and Darcy together. I want to claw out her eyes.
I need to get over this. I need to remember that Punky is my half-brother.
A waiter zips past, but I stop him and grab two glasses of champagne off his silver tray. Rory thinks one glass is for him, but he’s wrong. I throw back both, making a face as the alcohol hits my empty stomach.
“Let’s go,” Rory says, gently kissing my cheek, and when he does, I see something which pleases me immensely—Punky narrows his eyes, eyeballing the fuck out of Rory.
The sight gives me hope that he does care, that this is as weird for him as it is for me.
We know we can never be together the way we once were, but to see his mood sour this way shows me that I still affect him. I don’t know why, but that makes me feel better. I don’t feel like everything we experienced was all in my head.
Rory leads me toward the ballroom with our friends following close behind. I snare another glass of champagne from a waiter as we enter the room.
The moment we do, the room falls quiet before it explodes into joyous clapping. Everyone passes their congratulations onto us as we walk through the crowd, and suddenly, I feel claustrophobic. It’s all too much.