“Cole,” Sydney whispered.
The low sound of his name snapped him from his tumble into the past.
“Anyway, I started out listening to ‘Trane’ for one reason, but ended up loving his music for his absolute genius.” He shook his head, releasing his breath on a short huff of laughter. Embarrassment trickled through him as he ran through what he’d divulged to Sydney. Jesus. Where had all that come from? “I must’ve driven Moe crazy with playing those records and tapes over and over. And then the endless questions. But she answered every one and never made me feel guilty for asking. Even though, sometimes, I could tell in her eyes, it hurt her.”
“I’m sure she understood,” Sydney said. “That’s how Moe is, who she is. You probably don’t remember because you were gone away to school, but on Carlin’s birthday and on the anniversary of her death, my parents would go to the cemetery to spend time at her grave. I’ve never gone. When I was younger, I’d pitch a fit so bad, they left me with babysitters. And when I was older, I would leave the house and not return until later that day. One of the places I would go was your house. Moe never asked me what I was doing there, or made me feel guilty for being there instead of at the grave, or tried to convince me to go like other adults did. She just let me hang out with her, Leo and your family, offered me a safe space and fed me. God, did she feed me.” Sydney laughed, but after a moment, the warmth faded from her eyes and her mouth lost its curve. “There were times I...” She paused, frowned and fidgeted with the book in her hands before turning around and sliding it on the bookshelf.
“Times you...” he gently pressed.
Her hand lingered on the book, her shoulders so stiff with...whatever was rippling through her, he knew before she even pivoted to face him again that she wouldn’t finish that sentence.
Hypocrite that he was, he almost stood up and stalked over to her, insisting she open up to him, share with him.
But then she might demand the same from him. And that wasn’t happening.
“Your mom sent lemonade over with us. Would you like a glass?” Sydney asked, swiping the back of her hand over her forehead.
Alarm sizzled through him as he narrowed his gaze on her slightly glistening skin, noticing the tautness around her lush mouth. In an instant, he shot to his feet and covered the distance between them.
“Hey,” he murmured, peering down at her and studying the signs of fatigue he couldn’t miss from this close. The haziness in her espresso eyes and the faint smudges underneath them. Earlier in the kitchen, he vowed not to touch her again, to keep his distance. But he broke that promise to cup her elbow. Hell, it was safer than putting his thumbs to those bruises that denoted lack of sleep and trying to smooth them away. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” she maintained. “Just a little thirsty—”
“And tired,” he interrupted with a wry smile. “You won’t be any less of a superwoman if you admit it, you know,” he teased. “I remember—”
His swift intake of breath cut off the words that had been ready to tumble so easily from his mouth. I remember how tired—and cranky because she was tired—Tonia would get.
Oh dammit.
The memory of leading his wife to their bedroom and cajoling her into lying down by offering to nap with her pummeled him with meaty fists, leaving him emotionally bruised and his lungs constricted.
Where had that come from? Why would he think about her here of all places? Now? He swallowed, panic scraping his throat. With...Sydney?
“Cole.” A hand on his upper arm snapped him back, centered him. He focused on her face, not realizing until that moment that he’d shifted his gaze over her head and stared blindly at the far wall. “You’re right. I am a little tired. Would you mind if we called it a day?”
She was giving him an out. Again.
And this time, he accepted it.
Because that crack into his past had him open, raw. And bleeding.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need anything before I leave?” he asked, his voice rough. Jesus, he felt like he was seconds away from flaming out. He had to get out of here.
She nodded, her pretty eyes solemn.
“I’m good.”
He returned her nod, his jerkier.
“Moe has my number if you need,” his throat closed on me, “anything,” he rasped.
He didn’t wait for her reply. Twisting on his heel, he strode across the room and exited through the door without glancing back.
And tried to convince himself he wasn’t escaping.
He failed.
CHAPTER FIVE
“SINCE YOU JUST had an appointment with your OB-GYN last week, we don’t need to do an exam today. So, I’ll see you here in another two weeks for your five-month checkup,” Dr. Kelly Prioleau said, tapping the screen of the tablet she held. Wow, her dad’s clinic had stepped into the twenty-first century. How ’bout that? “And since you mentioned not having an early noninvasive prenatal test, you can find out the baby’s sex during the ultrasound, too. If you’d like.”
“Oh, I’d like,” Sydney agreed. “The pregnancy was surprise enough. I don’t need the baby’s sex to be one, too.”
The lovely Black woman with the short, gorgeous twists and wide smile laughed. Just another reason Sydney liked her father’s new partner. Well, that and she could take a joke instead of getting all judgy, and her bright, popping red lipstick. The doctor obviously had style.
And a wonderful, warm confidence that had immediately set Sydney at ease when she’d entered the doctor’s office this morning. In the time since she’d left Rose Bend, her father had hired the woman who appeared to be in her late thirties as a partner. Sydney couldn’t help but think her mother had something to do with that. As in laying down an ultimatum—cut back on work or else.
Luke Collins was a dedicated and great doctor...and a workaholic. At least, that’s how Sydney remembered him. Aside from the hospital, the Rose Bend Family Practice was the only clinic in town. The residents adored him, and most would rather see him before going to the larger, more impersonal hospital. Which meant the chairs filling his waiting room were never empty.
The thriving practice provided more than its fair share of patients, and as Dr. Prioleau had assured Sydney, she was kept much busier here than she’d ever been in her bigger, fifteen-plus medical group in Charleston, South Carolina.
Regardless, Sydney was glad the other woman had made the move because it meant her father wouldn’t be checking her cervix.
Yeah, she’d always desired to be closer to her father but not that close.