Her hand rose and curled around his wrist. “It’s only fair for me to protect you, too.” She held his gaze. “Don’t you think so? Isn’t that what real partners do? They look out for each other.”
His head moved in a slow nod. Where was she going with this?
“Good.” Her smile flashed, and it was brilliant. Only…it didn’t meet her eyes. “Remember that, would you? You protect me, I protect you, and, other than that, I don’t think we need to worry about any additional rules.”
“Chloe…”
“Do you want to tell me about the memories?” Her smile was gone. Just that fast.
Joel sucked in a deep breath.
“I don’t like to push you.” Now she was halting. Odd for Chloe. She didn’t seem to normally worry about pushing anyone.
But she does with me.
Because he knew that Chloe was different with him. Just as he was different with her. No one understood him the way Chloe did. No one made him burn and ache and need the way Chloe did.
She’d brought him back to life. Become his obsession and his dream all at the same time.
But when it came to his past, to the darkness that lurked there…
Joel shook his head. “There is no point in letting it touch you.”
She brought his hand to her lips. Kissed his knuckles. “But you touch me. All the time. And your past is part of you. If we follow that line of reasoning, it already has touched me. Over and over again.”
“Chloe…”
“There is nothing you could tell me that I would not understand.”
“I fucking beat a man to death.” The words erupted from him. He tried to pull his hand back. Can’t touch her. Can’t—
She tightened her hold on him.
“He’d buried me alive, Chloe.” Joel swallowed and swore he could still taste the dirt. It had filled his throat. Coated his tongue. He’d tried to open his mouth and scream when it rained down on him, and the dirt had choked him. He’d been spitting it out of his mouth when he climbed from that hole. “He was still there. He had the shovel. He swung at me with it and I…” But his words trailed away.
His gaze had landed on his hand. On the hand that Chloe still held. The hand she’d kissed.
When the authorities had finally found Joel, his fingers had been stained with dirt and blood.
Once more, he tried to pull away from her.
Once more, Chloe just tightened her grip. “You did what you needed to do.” Her voice was certain. Firm. “You survived, Joel.”
For a long time, he hadn’t been so sure he had survived. He’d felt like a freaking shell of a man. He hadn’t been able to go back to surgery. Every time he looked at a scalpel, every single time he thought about cutting into a patient…
I remembered him cutting me.
“I’m glad you did,” she said into the heavy silence that followed. “Survived, I mean. Though I am also glad you killed that man. I think he probably needed a good killing.”
Typical Chloe.
She pushed him back on the bed. Came down beside him. Snuggled her body against his. Her fingers pressed to his chest, sliding over some of the scars that marked him. “I imagine my life would have been entirely less interesting if I had not met you.”
A laugh sputtered from him. “Uh, thanks?” Was that her way of making him feel better?
“You are welcome.” Again, her fingers slid lightly over his chest. “You can tell me anything, I hope you know that. And…if you are not comfortable talking to me, you can always go and see—”
“No.” He stopped her right there as his whole body stiffened. “Not going to see another shrink, baby. Especially not after that last asshat.” Dr. Gordon Jennings had been utterly useless. And the fact that he’d basically said Joel was a ticking timebomb waiting to explode? Yeah, no thanks.
He felt her body tense against him. The movement lasted only a second before she relaxed. But he was so attuned to her, so focused on Chloe that he felt it. Alarm flared through him. He immediately rolled to face her. “What?”
“About the asshat in question…” She sounded ever-so-proper even as she said the word “asshat” in that faint accent of hers.
“Gordo? You want to talk about Gordo?”
Her lips pursed. “Want is a strong word. I don’t actually want to discuss him, but there has been a development that you should know about.”
“Why do I need to know anything about that jerk? He’s gone back to Texas, and I—”
Her head moved in a small, negative shake.
His heart squeezed. Oh, no. “He has not gone back to Texas.”
“He had gone back to Texas. He now has a new home, according to my sources…”
Because she had a million sources. He still hadn’t quite figured out how she had so many connections. She just did. Most of the connections were on the shady side. Chloe seemed to like that side of the world.
“Dr. Jennings developed quite the chummy relationship with the local FBI branch. He moved down here. Rented a house. Even got a small office space in the Quarter.”
“You are shitting me.”
“No. I wish that I was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“Because I was distracted by other things and I only learned of his presence within the last twenty-four hours. I should have monitored him better. This was my mistake.”
Hell, no, it wasn’t her mistake. Gordo was just a jackass. “He thinks I’m a monster. That I’m dangerous.”
She stared at him. “You are dangerous,” Chloe told him.
She didn’t pull her punches.
“But you’re hardly a monster.” Her hand stroked his cheek. “And I should know. I’ve met plenty of them.”
“Chloe…”
“Forewarned is forearmed. He’s invading our city. We need to see what his real motivations are. Don’t worry. I have complete confidence that we can handle whatever he throws at us.”
About that… “I don’t want him near you.”
“Why? Are you afraid he’ll tell me that I’m a monster?” Her hand reached out. Turned off the light. As the darkness covered them, she snuggled back against him. “Silly, Joel. I’ve known that for years.”
***
He went back to sleep. It took a while, but Joel’s body finally relaxed as sleep claimed him. Chloe didn’t try slipping from the bed this time. She stayed where she was and enjoyed the feel of Joel’s body against her.
He’d been so sweet. After Chloe had confessed about being a monster, he’d instantly told her she was wrong. He’d proclaimed that she wasn’t a monster. She hunted killers. She helped people.
Adorable.
He still didn’t understand her. Not completely. Oh, he was certainly close. Closer than most people had ever been. But…
He didn’t know the truth. She was hiding it from him. As she hid so many secrets. Secrets were dangerous. Secrets could hurt.
She was Joel’s partner, and her job was to protect him. She’d told him that. Been as clear as it was possible to be.
From the den, she heard the quick beep that told her a text had come through on her phone. Part of her thought of ignoring the text but…