Gail handed Stevie a tissue. Stevie took the tissue, but wasn’t sure what she should do with it. Staring down at it, Gail’s words echoed through her thoughts. Accident? No, that was impossible. Her mother was such a careful driver. Red light. Accident. Paramedics. Those words whirled through her mind over and over again. But none of them made any sense. What couldn’t the doctors do? Save her mother? No, that wasn’t right. Her mother was at home. Her mother was at home, working in her garden. Or just returning from church. Her mother was…
“Do you have any questions for me?” Gail asked gently.
Stevie lifted her gaze from the tissue to stare at Gail, trying to understand what she was talking about.
“She’s…?”
Green eyes. Gail had green eyes. Eyes that filled with sympathy. For her? For the world? Surely it was for the world because…Stevie didn’t need pity. She needed…? She needed to find her mother! This was all a big mistake! “Yes, dear. Your mother passed away this morning.”
Stevie shook her head, refusing to believe this woman’s words. “No. That’s wrong. She’s fine.”
Gail’s head tipped to the side and she squeezed Stevie’s hand again. “I know this is a lot to take in, dear.”
Stevie wanted to tell Gail to stop calling her “dear”. Gail was trying to help by making the relationship seem more intimate than it was. But Stevie didn’t like it.
“Could you…” she stopped, not sure what she needed to hear. Her mother was…gone? Gone-gone? As in, never to be here again? No more hugs? No more phone calls “just to check in”? Stevie loved her mother. They talked at least once a week, if not more often. They met for lunch, her mother cooked dinner on Sunday nights at least once a month. They spent their holidays together and laughed together and…whenever Stevie needed a shoulder, her mother was always there for her! It was just the two of them, so they were close.
Now, she was…gone?
Gail walked over to her desk. “Here is some information for you. About funerals and things to do after the service. There is also a list of support groups that I know can be helpful.”
Stevie took the folder, still struggling to make sense of it. “Can I…can I see her?”
Gail hesitated, looking uncomfortable. “That probably isn’t a good idea, Stevie.”
Stevie lifted her dry, bewildered eyes to the woman. “Why not? I just…I can’t believe she’s gone.”
Gail sat down beside her again. “Car accidents are never easy. It would be better if you remembered her the way she was.”
Stevie nodded, not sure if she agreed with the woman. But this was too much to take in. She couldn’t process this.
“Do you want to tell me about your mother?” Gail asked.
Stevie looked at the woman, not sure what she meant. Tell this stranger about the most perfect mother in the whole world? Why would she do that?
“I…” Stevie stopped, not sure what she needed. She knew that she didn’t need to tell a stranger about her mother. Home! Stevie needed to go to her mother’s house. Surely, this was all a huge joke!
Yes, that was it. Stevie would walk into her mother’s house, the small, pretty cottage-style house with the hydrangeas that bloomed every June. Stevie would call out for her mother and Evelyn would walk out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a dishtowel. They would laugh about this. Stevie would explain that the hospital had made a ghastly mistake and the two of them would laugh. Stevie would help her mother finish making dinner and they’d talk about what was coming up at work.
Stevie headed for the door, not sure where she would go or what she’d do next, other than to hurry over to her mother’s house, needing to see her mother coming out of the kitchen.
“Wait,” Gail called out. “Here is her purse and…” she paused, seeing the shock in Stevie’s eyes. “Well, her personal things. They are yours now, dear.”
Stevie took the familiar purse. The next thing she knew, she was parking her car outside of her mother’s house. There was no car there. Accident. So, her mother’s car would be…? Stevie had no idea. What did one do with a car that had…she couldn’t finish that thought. Nor did she want to even think about the car.
Stevie stared up at the house. It was a fairly small house. Just three bedrooms. Stepping out of her car, she walked in. She’d grown up in this house. There were so many memories of life and laughter. But her mother didn’t come out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on the dishtowel and reaching for a hug. There was no sound. Nothing at all. Her mother wasn’t in the kitchen. She wasn’t upstairs cleaning or ironing. Stevie slipped into the kitchen and stared out into the backyard. Her mother wasn’t there either. She wasn’t muttering curses because she had to mow the grass.
Her mother was gone. Her mother had passed away…Stevie looked at the clock. Everything was silent. Too silent. Her mother wasn’t here.
She sat down on the sofa in the family room, still trying to come to terms. Her mother was gone? It seemed surreal. Impossible! Her mother was always so full of life and love and laughter. No way could she be gone!
Then Stevie looked down at her lap. Her mother’s purse was cradled in her arms. That’s when it hit her. Her mother was gone! Her mother had been in a car accident and…she was gone!
Stevie curled up into a ball and cried. Soft whimpers as the tears streamed down her cheeks as the pain slashed through her heart like a knife. For a brief moment, she wanted to call Janus. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to lean into him and be surrounded by his strength. This wasn’t happening, and yet, as the morning turned to afternoon, and then faded to darkness, Stevie cried out her heartache.
Chapter 5
Janus scanned the players on the field. In the back of his mind, he was aware of the roar of the crowds. But his focus was intense as he spotted the receiver. This was it. This was the pass that would win them the game.
As he pulled his arm back, the world seemed to slow down. The receiver raced down the field. His arm moved forward, the football spinning in a perfect spiral through the air. There was an almost silent moment as the crowd waited, watching the pass. His aim was perfect. The receiver was heading right for the ball and no one from the other team was anywhere near the receiver.
It was the perfect play. They’d practiced the pass so many times during practice this past week. Janus could see the plays as they happened, his mind sharp as he calculated the distance each player could run, knew the arm length of the players and understood their strengths and weaknesses.
He also knew that something was wrong. Not in the play. The football was flying down the field in a perfect arc towards the wide receiver.
And yet, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the defensive linebacker, Joe Rockwell, grab Tommy Uburcheck’s facemask. Tommy was the offensive lineman, Janus’ protection against the enormous men on the defensive line. Grabbing an opponent’s facemask was illegal because there was no defense against it and it jerked the player’s neck out of alignment.
Janus heard the crunch as Tommy went down hard. That was the sound of broken bones, he knew. Janus looked up. Rockwell was heading right for him and he wasn’t fooling around. Death was in his eyes.