“But things are different.”
“They are,” I say. “Different isn’t always bad. It’s just hard to get used to.”
Erin takes a sharp sip of her whiskey and turns more fully to face me with her legs crossed. “The reason I’m working at the clinic, and my parents think that I’m working too hard, is that I applied to veterinary school and…I didn’t get in. There wasn’t any alternate plan in my mind than getting in. And now I feel so fucking lost. I thought I’d worked hard enough, and I didn’t. Now I need all the extra experience I can get so that when I apply again, I can actually get accepted.”
All the words rush out of her like she just burst a bubble. She’s breathing a little hard, cheeks flushed. I’m not sure if the whiskey is hitting her or if it’s just all the emotions around what she said. But we’re trading problems, and I’m not going to let her get bogged down in her shit. Not yet.
“I’ve been spending more and more time in the woods just so I don’t have to deal with everything that’s changing,” I admit. “It’s easier when I’m the only person for miles and I don’t have to think about anything other than which path to take or if it’s time to camp for the night. Just be, for a while.”
Erin shakes her head. “It was my test results. I’ve always been a bad tester. I know my stuff, but when there’s so much pressure and it actually matters and I know that I’m being judged on it, I overthink everything and it ends up fucking me over. It’s always been that way.”
I nod. “I know a bit about that. Ever since Leo and Asher found their partners, I’ve been lonely and second guessing everything. Even though I never thought that that kind of life was for me.”
She leans toward me and I don’t know if she consciously realizes it. “It’s embarrassing. I’ve wanted to be a vet since I was a kid, and everyone knows it. So the fact that I’m not, even if it’s still an option in the future—it feels like failure. I haven’t even told some of my friends because I don’t want to see that look in their eyes. The pity and the ‘I don’t know what to say’ or ‘Oh, I’m sure it will be okay.’”
I smile and down the last of my whiskey. “It’s actually been forever since I talked to anyone like this because of that same embarrassment. What would my friends say to me if I told them I’m jealous? Or that I feel left out because they’re so happy?” I lean closer. “I don’t want to make my friends feel like shit. That’s the last thing I want.”
“If I’m not doing what I always said I’d do?” Erin whispers. “I have no idea where I fit in the world anymore.”
“I feel exactly the same way.”
We’re inches away from each other now. Up close, her hair is even brighter. There’s a sheen of whiskey on her lips and it feels like the small truths that we’ve been admitting are pulling us together like there’s a string tightening between us.
And now that we’ve ended up in the same place—two people who feel a little lost and who don’t have anyone else to admit it to—there’s no holding back.
I know that it’s a bad idea as I kiss her. But it doesn’t matter. It’s happening. I put my glass on the coffee table and just manage to get hers there too before I close the distance between us.
Jesus fuck. Her lips are so soft under mine and she tastes like marshmallows and whiskey. The room suddenly feels hotter than the fire that we’re next to, and my mind is entirely blank. It’s only the feeling of her mouth and her tongue and my hands pulling her closer so that she’s in my lap. There’s no fucking way I can control my dick now. It’s hard and I don’t care if she feels it because Erin is kissing me back.
I’m a little drunk, I know that, and she’s a little drunk too. But her hands slide around my neck and she’s grinding into me as hard as I’m pulling her into me.
“You’re good with this?” I ask.
Her words are a gasp. “What do you think?”
“We’ve both been drinking, and you’re a guest here, Erin. So as much as I love the feeling of your tongue in my mouth, you have to tell me yes.” I yank her hips down into me—the way she’s straddling me pulls us together in a form of delicious torture. “But once you do, all bets or off.”
Erin pulls back for a second, eyes so close and so glazed with open lust that it only makes me harder. “God, yes,” she breathes before pressing her mouth to mine again.
My arms come around her hard, locking our bodies together as we consume each other. All the thoughts about whether this is a good idea or a bad idea evaporate through the kiss. Because this is the perfect idea.
I’ve never had a kiss like this. It reaches inside me and yanks something out. I feel raw and exposed, and at the same time, I want more of it. I can’t get enough or have her too close. There are too many layers of clothing in the way. I want to touch her. Tease her. Taste her.
Make her blush and forget that she has any kind of trouble or embarrassment. For tonight, she’s only going to think about me, and the pleasure that I’m going to give her—that we’re going to create together.
I lift her up and lay her back on the couch before peeling her shirt up and off. She laughs breathlessly. “If I’d known someone as hot as you was going to see my underwear, I would have packed something sexier.”
Looking down at the simple black bra she has on, and the way it contrasts with her pale skin, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything sexier. “Have you looked in a mirror today, Erin? Because I’ve been fighting my dick the entire day just being near you.”
She shudders and arches up into me where our bodies meet. “I’m serious though. How do you not have women falling all over you?”
“You have to leave the woods to have that happen,” I say with a smirk.
But talking isn’t exactly what I’m interested at the moment. I drop my lips to her fire-painted skin, tasting the sweetness and the smoothness of it under my lips. I savor the sounds of her breathing and the little way that she gasps when I move somewhere more sensitive. The place where her neck meets her shoulder. The hollow of her collarbone. The valley between her breasts.
Sliding my hands underneath her, I get her bra undone, and she helps me wiggle herself out of it so she can throw it aside. Her nipples are already hard, and they’re so perfect that they practically have my mouth watering. “God, you’re beautiful,” I say before capturing one of her nipples between my teeth.
Not a hard bite—just a grazing that makes her gasp and her skin tighten even more between my lips. I swirl my tongue around the taut peak, enjoying the way her hands grip my shoulders and sink into my hair. There’s nothing quite like this feeling of teasing a woman. Sucking on her skin until she moans and wants more. Making her nipples swollen and aching because you can’t get enough.
I switch to the other nipple, pinching the first one between my fingers. “Oh my God,” her voice is choked with arousal and lust. “I’ve never—”
My head snaps up. “You’ve never what?” If she’s a virgin, that won’t be a problem, but I need to know.