At one point, I’d thought I wanted to be a chef like my brother Aiden. And while I loved cooking, and I loved to cook with him, I wasn’t as inventive when it came to recipes. The kitchen’s high anxiety and heat was exhilarating for a little while, but I didn’t see myself doing it long-term. I had initially gone for a business degree at a different university and had taken cooking classes while learning with Aiden so I could one day be with him in the kitchen. However, it hadn’t worked out, and I was still afraid that Aiden wasn’t completely satisfied with how I had left things. I hoped he would be eventually. I just wasn’t sure exactly how he would ultimately feel.
Our professor kept droning on, mostly about the wonders of all the authors on the reading list.
As every single one was a so-called classic author, meaning there wasn’t a single diverse author on the page—let alone a female—I wasn’t putting too much stock in this. The other class I had wanted to take had a very complex reading list with books from this century, with a focus on things other than what my grandfather might have learned in school.
But here I was, and I would get a damn A, even if it killed me.
The professor ended class, assigning a paper we had to write over the weekend. I held back a groan but knew I had no choice. The assignment was on the syllabus, though the timing of the papers wasn’t. There was just a list of ones we would have to write. When we got to them, that’s when the professor assigned them. I wasn’t a massive fan of that, but then again, I wasn’t teaching the class.
I stuffed my book and notebook into my bag and headed out. Some people had brought laptops into class, but our professor hated the sound of clicking keys. So, I wrote everything down by hand and then transferred it onto my computer later for focus. In the end, it helped me study better, so I couldn’t get mad about it.
My phone buzzed, and I looked down at the screen. My jaw tightened, and I swallowed hard.
I hit end and told myself it was nothing. The call didn’t need to be important.
But I knew that number and the name associated with it. I might not know the man, nor had I even known his name until recently, but he had been a part of my creation, and therefore, he thought he needed to be a part of my life.
I had no idea what my birth father wanted other than to annoy the fuck out of me and probably ask for money. That’s what he had done to Cameron the one time he had deigned to reach out—and he wasn’t even Cameron’s or Aiden’s father.
So, I had lied to myself when I said that I didn’t know who my father was. Oh, I knew him. And, apparently, he wanted to get to know me. I didn’t trust the idea of that, though.
I stuffed my phone into my pocket and headed towards the coffee house. There were three coffee shops on campus, as well as a smattering of little cafés, but this was the one that Elise had been to when I first saw her across the way. It was a silly thing, and she probably had a class or wasn’t even on campus right now. Surely, my luck wouldn’t hold out that I could see her again. Not that I was sure I wanted to. But I would probably be lying to myself if I said that I didn’t. I wanted to get to know her. She was fun, smart, and I wanted to see her again—and not only to see her naked.
I shook my head, telling myself that train of thought was trouble. She didn’t want more from me, yet I couldn’t help but wonder if I could change that.
There was something wrong with me, but I couldn’t change things right now.
I moved towards the coffee shop, and a girl stood in front of me, stepping into my path. I looked up and blinked at Mandy. Mandy and I had gone out for a few weeks, but it hadn’t been serious. We had both said it wouldn’t get complicated. That we were just having fun. And then I found out that Mandy really didn’t want anything serious with me. Her goal really was only fun. To have a good time with as many people as she could. And I didn’t mind that. If that was what she wanted, I didn’t judge her. However, when she told me I wouldn’t ever be the forever type, and that she was only looking for sex, I realized I didn’t want that. I wanted to be worth more than that. So, I walked away. She hadn’t seemed to mind, and since she was currently walking away from a guy who stood there glaring at me, it appeared she had landed on her feet.
“Dillon,” she said, smiling at me. “It’s good to see you.”
“Hi, Mandy,” I said.
“You’re looking great.”
The guy behind her growled, and she rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder.
“I’m not flirting, just saying hi. This is Jeff,” she said, pointing to the man behind her. “We’ve been seeing each other for a little bit now, and things are going great. I hope things are going great for you.”
I shrugged. “Busy as usual. You look happy,” I said and meant it. Her eyes were bright, and she was grinning. She did look good.
“Things are going great. School, Jeff, I just...well, I hope you find happiness, too. You know?”
I tilted my head at her and nodded. “Finding happiness would be nice. I’m glad you found yours.”
She gave me a somewhat uncomfortable shrug. “Well, I need to be off. I’ve got class in ten. We just needed some coffee.” Jeff held up two paper cups.
“Have a good day, Mandy,” I said, and she gave me a little wave before skipping off with Jeff. She took a cup from him, tangled her fingers with his, and kissed him hard on the mouth. The big, hulking guy relaxed marginally yet still glared at me over his shoulder as the two of them left.
I honestly didn’t have time for jealousy or whatever the hell Jeff’s problem might be, but it was nice to see Mandy happy. I had honestly liked her. We hadn’t parted on particularly bad terms, even though I hadn’t been too pleased by the way she saw me. But we hadn’t fought or gotten angry with each other. It had just ended.
She had probably been the most serious girlfriend I had ever had, and that was a sad state of affairs if that was the case. I didn’t have time to dwell on that, though. Between working at the bar on the nights and weekends I could, school, and figuring out my new way of life because I’d changed universities, I didn’t have time for a relationship at all.
At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
When I finally walked in, I saw Pacey at the coffee shop, sitting at a small table in the corner as he typed on his laptop. The place was huge, three stories, and had tons of space for people to work. The second and third floors were a little quieter than the first, and Pacey was currently on the second, focusing on his course load. The campus had hundreds of places to get work done, and we had a decent house, too, but I knew that Pacey had class in thirty minutes so it only made sense that he would try and get some work done closer to his lecture.
I picked up my coffee, headed upstairs, and cleared my throat near his table.
Pacey looked up and smiled. “Hey there, Dillon. Take a seat.”
I gave him a small nod, smiled, and then sat across from him. “Thanks, I was going to ask.”
“You could have just sat down. I might’ve growled at you, though. Because, damn it, this paper sucks.”
“When’s it due?”
Pacey looked at me and shrugged. “In three days. And we’re turning it in online, so at least I don’t have to print it out, but it’s still pissing me off.”