The guys I served with felt the same way though. We were a brotherhood in the fact that we all needed that rush. The idea of going back to an empty place after an op made my skin crawl. It was one of the reasons we had spent so much time at the local bars near base. None of us ever seemed to want to go home, not even the guys who had wives to go home to.
Well, only a couple sought the refuge of their wives or girlfriends. It was hard when we couldn’t tell anyone a single thing about what we were doing or where we were going. The secrets often built walls that not even love could tear down.
Hunter cleared his throat. “I got a call from Willa’s friend, Brighton Rogers. She went to school with Willa and is some big fancy lawyer in Boston now. She was only too happy to be Willa’s divorce attorney.”
I only nodded. Just hearing Willa’s name made my heart beat a little faster.
“The last time I saw Brighton, I’m pretty sure her face was covered in acne and she had on clothes two times too big for her. She wore glasses, too, if I remember. Typical law school nerd. Anyway, she wants to take Willa out tonight to celebrate her divorce from that dickhead of a husband she found herself stuck with.”
I lifted a brow. “Stuck with?”
He nodded. “Yeah, the only reason she married him was because she got pregnant, and I’d bet my left nut he got her pregnant on purpose.”
My stomach dropped at the thought of Willa being pregnant with another man’s child. I hated the way I became so angry on New Year’s Eve when she’d told me in person she was getting married and was pregnant. I had almost begged her to go back to Virginia with me and let me marry her and raise her son, but that had been a fleeting wish, not reality. “Is her divorce officially final?” I asked, not wanting to get into the drama of why Willa and Brian had gotten married.
“Sure as shit is. And we’re taking her out to celebrate tonight.”
“We?” I asked, one brow raised.
“Hell yeah. Aiden, Willa is going to shit her pants when she sees you. It would mean a lot to me if you came tonight. I think it would do her good to see you. Not that I think she needs cheering up. Willa has even said it was a godsend she came back home early that weekend to find Brian in bed with Ellen. Truth be told, she was more upset about it being Ellen than anything else. But I do think Willa has some trust issues now.”
I stared at him, trying to read what he wasn’t saying. Then I shrugged, acting as if it didn’t matter one way or the other. “Yeah, I’ll go.”
“Great!” Hunter said. “I told Brighton to meet us at Brew’s Place around nine. I’ll pick you up at eight forty-five?”
I took another long pull from my beer. “Yep. I’ll be ready.”
Hunter stood, leaving his nearly full beer on the table after I told him I’d finish it. He gave me a quick slap on the back. “It’s damn good to finally have you home. I missed you, brother.”
I was hit hard by an instant memory of being surrounded by my team. Eight of us, arms lifted, beers held high in celebration of a successful op. The clanking of bottles echoed before we all chanted, “Brothers forever.”
I swallowed hard and forced myself to stand and walk Hunter out to his truck. The small ache in my knee made me falter for one quick moment before I got control of it. I knew I had made the right decision leaving the team. There was no way I would put them in danger and go back with a fucked-up knee. I could have lied, said it felt good as new. But I’d seen too many other SEALs do it, and the cost of something going wrong, someone dying, wasn’t worth it. Of course, the doctors wouldn’t have let me anyway, not with how torn up my knee was.
It didn’t mean I didn’t miss it. Long for it. Hell, I felt like I was going through withdrawals, if I was being honest. I wanted to be with my team—with my brothers—back in Virginia. Instead, I was in Boggy Creek, New Hampshire. Crippled and lost. So fucking lost.
Fuck my life.
“See ya later, Hunter,” I said as I watched him climb into his truck and then drive down the long driveway that was flanked by tall elm trees on either side. The yellowing leaves stood out against the green grass, and I knew in order to settle into this new life, I needed to get myself busy. My mind needed to be occupied.
My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out to see it was my mother calling. “Hey, Mom. How’s it going?”
“Wonderful, now that I know you’re home. How about you? How’s the knee?”
“It’s fine.”
She paused for a moment. “Hurting any?”
“Sometimes.”
She was silent for a bit too long before she asked another question. One I knew she didn’t really want to ask. “Taking the pain pills?”
“No, but I don’t need them, Mom. I’m okay. It’s going to be an adjustment, but I’m fine. I’m here to help Granddad and you and to…”
My voice trailed off.
“Heal?” she asked softly.
My mother was no stranger to what men brought back from serving. My father had carried his own set of baggage when he’d returned from the Navy. Even my grandfather had warned me before I left for boot camp that military life would change me. He served in the Korean War, and when asked, refused to talk about it. I never knew why until I went on my first deployment. Then it all became crystal clear.
“Don’t worry about me, Mom. How’s Granddad enjoying Boston?”
My mother and grandfather were in Boston visiting family on my grandfather’s side. She had been begging Granddad and had finally convinced him to go. The moment I’d told her I was discharged and heading home, she’d wanted to cut their trip short, but I had told her not to. I’d been truthful with her and told her I needed some time alone. I was lucky she understood and granted it to me.
It didn’t mean she wasn’t going to call every few hours though. I knew she meant well, but I couldn’t really tell her some wounds were too deep to ever truly heal.
With a sigh, she replied, “Boston is fine and don’t change the subject. I know you, Aiden O’Hara. You’re exactly like your father. He could never sit still either. Always itching to be out doing something. There’s a reason you followed in his footsteps and joined the military. You’re going to go stir crazy for a few months. Trust me, though, it will get easier, especially once you settle into the business.”
I wanted to groan. The business had been my grandfather’s dream, my father’s dream. Never mine—at least not now, anyway. I always knew at some point I would leave the Navy and come back home. It was part of my long-term plan. I loved Boggy Creek and knew I would settle here, but not this soon.
“I’ve already thought about that. I’m going to do some private security stuff in Boston every now and then after I hire a couple of foremen I can trust. One of the guys I used to serve with has a private security firm there. I told him to give me a shout for short jobs. Pays good, too, for only a few days’ work.”
More silence. I knew why. My mother wasn’t trying to hide the fact that she was happy I was out of the SEALs. I never told her I had been moved to Tier 1. She would have worried even more. It was bad enough knowing her son was a Navy SEAL. If she knew I was on the team that got sent in when the best of the best was needed, she’d have worried herself sick. She never knew exactly how many times I’d been shot, stabbed, and thrown by bombs. She knew I’d been hurt a number of times though. I didn’t earn the medals on my uniform for nothing.