“You’re the sexy single guy in this building. And you’re all brooding and aloof. You have that whole smoldering alpha male thing going on. You came over here all like ‘give me the baby,’” she said with a hard face in a fake male voice.
I snorted. I was neither aloof nor brooding. At least I didn’t think I was. But then when I thought about it, I didn’t really talk to anyone in this building. Not because I wanted to be rude. I just left early and came home late and was usually in a hurry.
I made a silent vow to smile more in the hallways.
She took a bite of mushroom, chewed, and swallowed. “They’re not going to believe I’m actually hanging out with you.”
“Who’s they?” I asked, picking up my wineglass.
“The ladies.”
I raised an eyebrow. “The ladies?”
“Yeah. There’s the yoga lady in 303. There’s the super-early-morning jogger lady in 309. And the two lesbian ladies in 302—who by the way want to see if they can have some of your sperm.”
I started to choke.
“They’re family planning,” she said, going on. “They told me to ask you if you’d be open to it if I ever met you, seeing as how we’re next-door neighbors and all. But don’t worry, I told them it was a long shot. I mean, you can’t just come at a complete stranger like, ‘Can I have some sperm?’ I was like, ‘Come on, guys, at least buy the man dinner first,’” she said out of the side of her mouth.
I coughed into my fist, my eyes watering. “Thanks?”
“You’re welcome. I mean, I don’t blame them. If I was in the market for sperm, I’d probably want to ask you too. You’re obviously intelligent. Good bone structure, and green eyes are very nice.”
I cleared my throat and took a large swallow of wine. Well, at least I had that going for me.
She grinned. “So, tell me about yourself. Are you the sexy single guy in this building? Or are you dating someone? We should put this rumor to rest.”
I wiped my mouth with a napkin. “I did have a girlfriend. Rachel.”
“Did? What happened?”
Normally I wouldn’t volunteer the details of my love life. Especially to a stranger. But I don’t know what it was, I just didn’t feel like filtering. Maybe because Vanessa didn’t seem to feel like filtering.
“We met on a dating app eight months ago. She lives in Seattle. She’s also married. I found out this morning.”
She sucked air through her teeth. “Ouch. That sucks.” She looked genuinely sorry to hear this news. “So was it serious with you guys?”
“It was the most serious relationship I’ve had in a while,” I said honestly.
“Are you gonna get back out there? Fire up the dating app?”
I laughed dryly. “No. I’m officially done dating for the foreseeable future.”
I’d had enough. At least for now. I was completely and utterly drained. I wouldn’t say I was heartbroken—we hadn’t been together long enough for that. But I was hurt and disappointed and seriously questioning my ability to trust people. To say I was emotionally unavailable at this point would be an understatement.
She changed the subject. “So you own the building?”
“I do. A management company runs it for me. I don’t deal with any of the tenants. Actually, I offered your apartment to my assistant, Becky, before you rented it.”
“Was that the woman who brought you the dog?”
“You saw her?” I asked.
“I heard talking. I looked through the peephole. She’s pretty. You guys ever date?”
I shook my head. “No, we’re just colleagues.”
“Why? Does she have a boyfriend or something?”
I scoffed. “Sometimes.”
“She never wanted to date you?”
“Not that I’m aware. And the feeling was mutual.”
“Well, she must have some Herculean self-control.” She waved her fork over my chest. “I mean, you’re not exactly a hard sell. This body looks like you just got out of prison.”
I snorted. She just said whatever popped into her head, didn’t she?
“What about you?” I asked. “You said you don’t date.”
She sighed dramatically. “Well, the women in my family have a tendency to die young. I figure it’s not really fair to make someone bury me, so single it is.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Would you like to elaborate on that?”
She shook her head. “Nope, not really.”
“Okay. So what do you do?”
“I’m a YouTuber.”
I drew my brows down. “A what?”
“A video blogger? I have a travel channel. Basically I go places and I make videos about it.”
She started cutting her chicken. I noticed she was having a hard time with the knife. Her right hand didn’t seem to be gripping properly. She was getting the job done though so I didn’t ask if she needed help.
“And how do you get paid for that?” I asked, looking away, not wanting to be rude. “Sponsors?”
“Yup. That and people pay to run ads during my videos. I also do appearances at cons and stuff. I get a percentage from products I sell on my Instagram and a lot of resorts invite me out for free in exchange for vlogging my experience.”
“Huh. So where have you been?”
She shrugged. “Everywhere. I’ve traveled the world. I’ve been on a safari in Uganda and on a gondola in Venice. I’ve climbed volcanos and ridden a donkey up a mountain in Greece. You name it, I’ve done it.” She skewered her chicken and took a bite.
“Wow. How’d you get into that?”
She chewed and swallowed. “Well, my sister Melanie got sick when she was twenty-seven. She died less than two years later. Afterward, I decided that starting on my twenty-sixth birthday, I was going to travel the world like I had one good year left to do it. So I started a GoFundMe, liquidated my meager 401(k), and got ready to go. And right before I left, I made a video about what I planned to do and that went viral. The rest is history.”
“Can I check out your channel?” I asked.
“Sure. It’s called Social Butterfly.”
I’d never heard of it. But then I also couldn’t remember the last time I’d been on YouTube.
“And what did you do before that?”
She shook her head. “I don’t tell anyone that.”
I arched an eyebrow. “And why’s that?”
“I make people earn it.” She smiled. “It’s too good to just give away.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” I poked at my food. “You must enjoy your current job. I’ve always wanted to do more traveling.”
She gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Do it. What’s stopping you?”
I laughed mirthlessly. “Well, I don’t fly, for one. And life.”
“Life is no excuse,” she said. “You should always have an adventure lined up. Having something to look forward to is tantamount to happiness.”
I cut another ravioli in half. “Oh yeah?”
She looked at me matter-of-factly. “Yeah. Even if you have no money or time or the weather is bad, you can still live an exciting life if you try.”