‘The door’s open, Merle.’ Ash glanced at her. ‘I suggest you return to the real world.’
CHAPTER FIVE
THE PROBLEM WAS that the ‘real world’ was no different. Above ground, breathing fresh air, forcing physical distance, Ash still wanted her more than he’d wanted any woman ever. He rolled his shoulders, unable to release the tension that had been building since the second he’d first seen her. Tension that was now unbearable after he’d touched her. What had begun as the most chaste kiss of his life had ended as the most unforgettable. How was it possible that he’d been left aching with such desperation? It wasn’t like anything he’d experienced before. It was no lie that he’d needed to get them out of there as fast as possible.
When she’d professed her desire to stay locked down there? He’d had to move before he took her up on it.
Ordinarily, most kisses didn’t end like that. Not so suddenly. Not with his lover walking away. Ordinarily, most kisses ended with all clothes off and multiple orgasms on. Not with Merle Jordan though. Of course it couldn’t be ordinary with her.
She was so tantalising. He’d never been as careful, absurdly terrified that he’d scare her off somehow. But then he’d lost track of any planned seduction. His mind had hazed. All that had remained was sensation in that sweet, scorching moment when he’d had his mouth on hers. Then she’d put her hands on him.
There’d always been a clinical element to Ash’s conquests. A decision to accept the offer of some mindless, emotionless physical relief and pleasure. This was different. This was a visceral ache in his core. Desire he couldn’t deny. Every other time it had been easy enough to walk away. Now he couldn’t. It wasn’t because he was trapped here. For all his hedonism, all his copious enjoyment of easy pleasure, he’d never been so fixated. Now he feared he was on the edge. That he’d do almost anything to have Merle Jordan in his bed was a frankly alarming feeling.
And there’d been inexperience in her kiss. Ash didn’t fool around with women who didn’t know the score. Not since he’d broken a young woman’s heart a decade ago. He didn’t like to think of Rose but her visage flickered in his mind. Of course it did—his treatment of Rose had been the reason for his mother’s anger here, that afternoon when his whole world had been turned upside down.
He slammed the door on those recollections. Things were very different now. While Merle’s initial shyness had reminded him of Rose, she’d shown herself to be very different just beneath the surface. Merle wasn’t some sweet-sixteen, never-been-kissed, awkward girl. She was an adult—fully capable of handling this attraction and of standing up to him more devastatingly than most people he’d met. He knew she wanted nothing more than to put him properly in his place. And when she let her tongue off the leash? When she was provoked enough not to hold back?
He wanted that too. Because he wanted her. But, given the inexperience that he intuitively sensed, he needed her to come to him. He needed her to be more than sure. He needed her to be in charge. Instead, she’d vanished back into that study.
He paced through to the kitchen, grumpily fixing on the perfect displacement activity. He was no great cook but he also wasn’t afraid to source expert help when necessary. Seeing those little puddings of hers last night had made his mouth water, so he’d been deliberate in the groceries he’d ordered for delivery from one of the local delis this morning. He’d tempt every one of her tastebuds until she could do nothing but ask for more.
Ninety minutes later, he appeared at the door to the study where she was still hiding.
‘Hey, darling.’ He leaned against the doorjamb. ‘Dinner’s ready.’
Merle had spent the afternoon locked back in the study, buried in the boring business papers from his father’s box, keeping calm and carrying on as if nothing drastically life-changing had happened. But Ash hadn’t gone back to his usual routine. He hadn’t appeared at the pool to swim for endless hours. She wished he had. The truth was, she’d realised, she wanted to swim with him.
But now he led her to a beautifully set small table overlooking the pool. It offered spaciousness, room to escape, a stunning view across the bay and an even better view across the table—to him.
Merle gazed down at the vibrantly coloured curry instead. ‘This looks amazing. Thank you.’
She perched, keenly aware of the awkward silence that immediately descended, but she was unable to think of anything to break it. Don’t be pathetic. She chewed, furious at overthinking everything. Why couldn’t she relax? Why couldn’t she shut down that searing, shockingly sexual response?
Merle didn’t have sexual responses to anyone. Why now, with such a known playboy who took nothing and no one seriously? Perhaps that was the problem. Had his reputation sparked a primal response within her subconscious? Had she inherited some genetic predisposition to bounders? She’d always rejected the way her grandmother had labelled her mother—as a foolish woman who’d ‘fallen’ and brought shame on the family by getting pregnant, unmarried and young—yet that lingering burn curled through her as she heard the strident echo of her grandmother’s displeasure.
Stay away from men. You don’t want to make the same mistake as your mother.
Everyone made mistakes. Having sex wasn’t necessarily one of them. Merle knew her mother was brave and loyal and loving. And frankly, it would be nice to have a sexual response to someone some time. Temptation whispered, telling her that an experience with Ash Castle might be perfect, might teach her much, without costing her heart. She desperately needed to stop thinking about any of this. She’d initiate a safe conversation instead. The one topic she had in common with him was her work.
‘Is there anything in particular you would like me to do with the diaries?’ she asked, pleased to have thought of something innocuous to discuss.
‘Diaries?’ He glanced up.
‘Your father’s diaries. I found a few in one of the boxes today.’
His mouth compressed and emotion flared in his eyes. ‘Direct any questions on his things to Leo. He’s the one paying you.’
‘But—’
‘I don’t want to know about it,’ he clipped. ‘As far as I’m concerned you can burn it all.’
Merle focused on her plate, taking a moment to digest his snap.
He sighed heavily. ‘Don’t look at me like that.’
‘I’m not looking at you,’ she answered equably.
‘Exactly.’ He half-laughed, half-groaned and then sighed. ‘Do you really enjoy cataloguing the detritus of people’s meaningless lives?’
Oh, wow, there was some bitterness to unravel there.