But it didn't last.
By the time she reached the last of the steps, and she was placing her hand in his—-
By the time he drew her to the floor to dance, and her gaze once again met his—-
By that time, she remembered he had hurt her, and as he watched her lips curve into a smile, it was then everything became devastatingly clear.
The music started to play, and they began to dance.
She was still smiling, and the sight of it killed him.
He remembered the day he had gone to her school. Remembered looking at her and feeling damn sure that he had hurt her. He remembered that day all too fucking clearly, and most of all, he remembered how he had failed to find the words that could explain how exactly he knew he had hurt her.
Now, however...
He remembered the first time they met, remembered how she smiled and nodded as Sheikh Mahmud introduced her to the king.
He remembered the second time they met, and not once had she smiled. He thought of all the times they had been with each other, and not once had her lips curved. And yet...
In those times, he had never thought she had been sad.
And it was true.
Because in those times, he had not yet hurt her, and so she had not minded being true to herself.
In those times, she had been real, and so it was her soul that had smiled at him.
But now that he had hurt her—-
SAFIYA DIDN'T QUITE know what to think when the sheikh abruptly led her away as soon as the first song ended. People were staring at them, and yet the sheikh made no attempt to slow down, and it was all she could do to keep up with him.
Her heart was pounding again, but it was fear and not excitement that she tasted on her tongue. She was afraid, so, so very afraid, and when the sheikh took her all the way to his study—-
This was it then, Safiya realized.
She had done everything she could to avoid meeting him to prevent this, but now that it was just the two of them, she knew then the inevitable had come, and it hurt.
It hurt so, so much—-
"What did I do wrong, alshaykh?"
Altair had just closed the door to his study when he heard the princess speak—-
What did I do wrong, alshaykh?
The way her voice broke had him turning white, and then he was turning around, fucking running towards her—-
She was pale and shaking, her skin icy cold as he hauled her into his arms.
"You did nothing wrong," he said savagely, "and I'm sorry...maehdina, hamira...I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm the one who fucked up—-"
"Please don't lie—-"
He pulled away so she could see the truth in his eyes. "You were perfect. Too perfect. And it scared me. Have you never wondered why I have never made you mine—-"
The princess was already shaking her head even before he had finished speaking. "I thought you only wanted to do the honorable thing."
A humorless laugh escaped him. "If I'm half as honorable as you think, I would've stayed far away—-" He saw the confusion in her eyes, and Altair breathed hard, knowing that the time had come to tell her the truth.
He could feel his chest tightening as he forced himself to meet his gaze, and his fists clenched involuntarily as the first words spilled past his lips. He told her why he blamed himself for his father's death, and he held nothing back as he told her of his fears over history repeating itself...if she ended up betraying him.
"I thought I could keep you at a distance, but I was wrong. I can no longer picture a life without you, hamira, so if you tell me now...if you tell me that I can trust you, then I will. Just say the word—-"
His voice broke off as the princess suddenly threw herself in his arms, and before he could ask her what was wrong, she had already raised herself on her toes to whisper just two words in Altair's ear.
Trust me.
Chapter Twelve
Dear Mama,
I can see how much he wants to trust me. He thinks I don't know it, but I can feel his struggle every moment we're together. And I know, Mama. I know the day will come when he'll trust me and love me. But until then, I won't lose hope.
A NEW CHAPTER BEGAN in Altair and Safiya's entwined lives, and in the first few weeks, a part of Altair had just been waiting for the princess to make him suffer. To hurt him the way he had hurt her. And if she had done that, he would not have thought any less of her for it.
But she did not.
If his fault was being too cynical, hers was being too nice. He remembered a conversation he had with Yara once, and after pointlessly groping for something more eloquent, his cousin had finally decided to stick with something painfully basic.
Safiya is nice, alshaykh.
At that time, he had thought the word inadequate. Prosaic even, and dubious. But now he knew. Now he understood exactly what Yara meant.
Safiya was nice.
So nice, in fact, that the moment he had apologized, she had forgiven him, and went out of her way to make him feel that the past was completely forgotten, and they were now working with a clean slate. Since he had admitted to having difficulty trusting her, Safiya had been the one to insist moving in to Ramil's military base.
Since it's next to impossible for me to make mischief here, the princess had explained, you might now find it easier to trust me.
She was that nice.
So damn nice she had taken his distrust in stride and proactively worked to help him get past it.
So fucking nice...that it tore at him.
Because even with everything that the princess was doing, the loss of Hadwin haunted him still, and so a small part of him remained out of her reach.
And that part...
That part of him was like a fucking demon that infested the back of his mind. Just lurking in the shadows and biding its time until it was time to rear its ugly head and rip Altair apart.
WEEKS TURNED INTO MONTHS, and Altair found himself struggling with a new problem which, in hindsight, he should've expected from the start.
Back when Safiya still lived in Mushriq, it had been easier for the sheikh to curb his sexual desires and keep himself from claiming her virginity. Since there was still a part of him that did not completely trust the princess, it also made him unable to feel he had the right to possess her body.
But now that she was living under the same roof as he was?
Torture.
The very best and worst kind, and from the very first night she had moved in, Altair had found himself unable to sleep. Thoughts of the princess sleeping in a room right next to his had him taking cold showers every damn night. It was a remedy that used to work, but nowadays, all it managed was make his arousal subside for a few minutes...and then it was back up again, his cock straining and throbbing painfully for Safiya's virginal pussy.
Day after day, his hunger for her flesh grew, and it did not help at all that the princess had taken to parading her body in front of him in peignoirs that barely covered anything. If they were not so sheer they were practically transparent, they would be cut so low that her beautiful tits seemed in danger of falling out at any second.
He wanted her so much it was driving him crazy, but still he held himself back. He wanted her. Needed her. Was more than halfway to falling in love with her. But until he was unable to say he trusted her completely—-