I just never anticipated that I’d be living in the middle of a never-ending monsoon.
I take a sip of water from the glass in front of me, my mind tripping back to the fiercely handsome guy who literally barreled into my life tonight, only to disappear just as quickly. A shiver runs through me and I glance down at my watch. It’s eleven o’clock now.
I bite down on my lower lip, hugging myself in anticipation. How ridiculous! I don’t even know his name, although there’s something about him that’s so damn familiar.
Speaking of names, I wonder how he’ll react when he hears my last name. Will he be like all of the others who disappear into thin air when they find out the truth about my family? I mean, it’s not like guys are lined up to beat down my broken-down door, not with the patriarch of my family tree rotting at the roots in prison.
For murder.
At twenty-four years old, I have no prospects…of anything.
I tug at my ponytail.
Maybe I can write a book.
I took courses in creative writing, and Lord knows, I love to read. These days, it’s my only escape from my otherwise dismal reality, whether it’s reading stories to the little neighborhood kids or smutty romance novels to myself.
How hard could it be to write one of my own?
At least I’d be able to use my name in a way that would benefit me instead of making me cringe as it so often does.
My eyes sneak a glance toward the door. It’s still a couple of hours until last call, so he’ll be able to get inside.
But the past year has taught me that things have a tendency to go sideways more often than not, and getting your hopes up prematurely is the surest way to be disappointed.
I see Jimmy, my boss, walk over. I straighten up and flash him a bright smile. “Hey, Jimmy! Great night, huh? And tomorrow will be even better, I’m sure! That party will bring in so much business! I’m really excited for you!” There is an exclusive event on the schedule for tomorrow night hosted by some socialite here in lower Manhattan. It’s to celebrate the launch of a new artist who is debuting at the Whitney Museum of Art this weekend. The guest list is sure to be filled with A-listers, and I’m hoping that’ll mean big bucks for the servers.
Namely, me.
“Thanks, Chella. It should definitely be good for the restaurant.” He returns my smile, but it doesn’t quite reach as high as it normally does. It almost looks…forced. A knot of fear constricts my heart.
Oh, God. Why is he looking at me like that?
Jimmy clears his throat. “Listen, Chella. I don’t think I’m going to be able to use you tomorrow night after all.”
I furrow my brow, my breath hitched. “I don’t understand. I’ve been on the schedule since you booked the event. You said you needed your most experienced servers here.”
“I know what I told you, but…” His voice trails off and he averts his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck. “Things have changed.”
“What kind of things?” My voice rises slightly and I hate myself for it, but I need to work this event. I can easily make a few hundred dollars in only a few hours, and it will hold me over to next weekend when I work here again.
He leans toward me. “You know this event is high-profile.”
I nod. “Of course.”
“That’s exactly why I can’t risk upsetting any of the guests. The people who run in this circle can crush my business if they recognize you. I took a risk taking you back after all hell broke loose with your family, but negative publicity at that level will crush my business. I just can’t take that chance.” He backs away. “I hope you can understand.”
I swallow the gaggle of tears in the back of my throat and nod quickly. “Sure, Jimmy. I totally see your point. And I am so thankful to be back here. I’d never want to be the reason for anything bad to happen to your business.”
“Thanks, Chella. You know I think the world of you, and I’d do anything in my power to help you. But I need you to sit this one out. There will be others in the future and hopefully, when the stories die out, you won’t be under such scrutiny.”
I force a quivery smile. “Right,” I whisper, gathering my tips and stuffing them into my pocket. “I guess I’ll just see you in a couple of days, then.”
Jimmy’s lips curl into a rueful smile. “Take care of yourself.”
“Thanks, you too.” My voice is strong, but on the inside, it’s choked with sadness and dejection. And there isn’t much I can do other than to walk out of the restaurant with my head held high. I give a little wave and scurry outside before the tears stinging my eyes slip down my cheeks.
I clench my fists as I stare up at the sky.
No little stars twinkle down on me. It’s just a thick haze, kind of like the one I feel hangs over me day in and day out. So obscure, you can’t see a single glimmer of light in the distance.
I want to scream and yell and cry. I want to punch something, break something…anything! For the past six months, I’ve tried to battle against the negativity surrounding me on a daily basis. I’ve tried to keep my glass half full with the knowledge that this, too, shall pass.
When? When will it pass exactly? Well, that’s the freaking magic question.
I’ve worked hard, kept my head down, and tried to figure out how to put the jagged pieces of my life back together. With barely any prospects for a real job, and diminishing opportunities at my current one, I’m grasping at the frayed ends of my sanity.
And Frankie—
My phone buzzes. It’s the one luxury I allow myself, and it’s barely functional as a smart device. But my brother’s track record requires me to be reachable at all times.
Speaking of the devil, it’s a text from him that lights up my screen.
Where are you?
I let out a sigh and stab a response.
He replies almost instantly.
Go home now. No pit stops.
I roll my eyes.
Damn, you mean I can’t go out clubbing?
I’m serious, Chell.
I chew my bottom lip as I walk toward the subway station, fumbling in my handbag for my pepper spray, and tucking it into my sleeve as I bring my hand out. What the hell has Frankie so spooked?
I actually have a date. Where are you?
Don’t worry about me. And who the fuck are you hanging out with?
A smile tugs at my lips. Just a guy I met at work. I won’t be late.
There’s a long pause before he responds.
I don’t like you being by yourself with a strange guy.
I roll my eyes. Well, lucky for me, you’re not my keeper.
Just lock up tight when you get home. Make sure nobody follows you. I’ll see you soon.
If that doesn’t sound comforting…
And make sure the jackass keeps his hands to himself.
I snicker and lean against the wall next to the front door. I look left and right, but my mystery date is nowhere to be seen. A few minutes later, I frown at my watch. Still no sign of him.
It was silly to think that maybe I could experience a little sliver of normalcy. A hot guy, asking me out…that’s just not my life.
Not my reality.
Not anymore.
I give him another five minutes because it’s not freezing out, but as each one passes, my ‘reality’ becomes more and more clear.