“Chivalry looks good on you.” She allowed him to put the jacket around her.
She took his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world as he walked her down the driveway, and then he climbed into his truck and followed her bright-yellow Jeep to the vineyard.
Yellow…
It was hard not to be in a better mood when he was around Jules, but as he drove to the Halloween party, thoughts about the uncomfortable glances he’d receive and the questions about whether he was finally going to work with his family at the resort buried that good mood down deep.
He’d escaped Silver Island partially because of events like these. Being a Silver came with a lot of pressure. When he was growing up, not only was it expected that he’d join the family business and work at the Silver House with his parents—which, to their grave disappointment, he’d never wanted to do—but as the oldest of five in a family that had to keep up appearances that all was well, the pressure to hold his siblings together and put on a happy face while their family was privately going through hell was monumental.
Grant had been ten when his father had moved out, old enough to feel the difference in every aspect of his life and to realize the ridiculousness of his father’s promise. Nothing will change between us. I’ll be there for everything, the same as I always have. His father had kept the second half of that promise, showing up for everything from school and sporting events to public family dinners, but nothing had ever been the same again. They’d never slept at his father’s house, and that was a surefire way to make a kid feel unwanted. His siblings—Fitz, Wells, Keira, and Bellamy—had been just seven, five, four, and two, and they’d had a hell of a time adjusting for the first few months. But other than Fitz, after those first few months they’d had the added benefit of being too young to remember any other way of life.
What Grant had never told a soul was that as loving and as openly communicative as his parents were, he had always thought their separation, and their subsequent decision to remain married but living separately while acting like newlyweds, had been selfish and confusing. Sure, his parents had fought more when they’d lived in the same house, but at least they’d been together. If they’d moved back in together, he wouldn’t have had to spend months trying to make his sisters and brothers understand what was happening, or watch his parents look sadder than he’d ever seen them.
His relationship with his father had been riddled with tension ever since, and that was where the pressure of being a Silver came in. He’d resented having to put on the facade of being a happy family in a close-knit community where everyone knew the truth during those first few months after his parents had separated. The pitying glances and well-intentioned questions had sucked. It hadn’t helped that his father hadn’t understood his desire to fight for their country and had tried to forbid him from going. Hell, he was still trying to make Grant’s decisions for him.
Grant hated feeling pissed off about all of that, because his parents were good people, even if their family had been built on somewhat of a lie for a while when his parents had first separated. But he could no sooner control his feelings about the situation back then or his father’s need to try to force decisions on Grant than he could control the angst bottled up inside him since he’d lost his leg—or the guilt that weighed him down like concrete boots. He didn’t like hiding away from everyone any more than he’d liked disappointing his family when he’d left the island. But hell if he could figure out another way to keep his sanity intact.
He parked in the crowded lot, and as he climbed out of his truck, the din from the party made his skin crawl. On top of knowing he’d see pitying glances, his hearing deficit brought a host of other issues. It was hard to tell which direction noises were coming from, and it made group settings in which he’d once been comfortable feel overwhelming and frustrating. It was exhausting trying to keep up.
Jules hurried over, looking like a dozen fantasies all wrapped up in one smiley, untouchable, gorgeous woman, his jacket dwarfing her petite frame. She grabbed his arm and said, “Let’s go find Bellamy.”
“Jules, I think this was a mistake.”
Sadness washed away her smile, tugging at something deep inside him. Her hand slid down his arm, and she laced their fingers together. Her hand was as delicate as a baby bird, and that frown looked all kinds of wrong on her beautiful face. Why the hell wasn’t she running in the opposite direction or leaving him alone like everyone else?
“I know you don’t like these parties anymore,” she said softly. “I may not know exactly why, but I respect that you don’t enjoy them. It’s no wonder. You’ve lived a much bigger life than our little island has to offer. But you’ve been through war, Grant. Every day you were gone, your family worried might be the last day you’d be alive.” She squeezed his hand. “I was worried, too.”
Their eyes connected and sparks ignited, but the noise was overwhelming, and he was becoming more frustrated by the second. He wished he could see life the way she did, but while he was on an island with too many do-gooders, he still felt like he was all alone. Nobody understood the full scope of what he’d lost and what he was left with, much less wanted to hear about how fucking lost he was.
“And now you’re home, where everyone loves you. I can’t watch you turn your back on that.” Her voice escalated emphatically. “Friends and family should be cherished, no matter how annoying or overbearing they are. It might not feel like it right now, but what you have waiting for you in there is special. Not everyone is lucky enough to have people who love them and are willing to fight for them.”
He dropped her hand, gritting his teeth against the frustrations simmering inside him and the unexpected emotions her words kicked up. “You have no idea what it’s like for me, Jules.”
“You’re right. I didn’t lose a limb. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that is for you. But I know what it’s like to be Bellamy. You weren’t here all those years when Jock was gone and Archer was angry at everything and everyone, but I felt like my heart was torn into pieces every single day. Bellamy was there for me. She held me while I cried, drowned my sorrows in ice cream, and stood out on Fortune’s Landing with me while I screamed my heart out. I’ve done the same for her, but I can tell you for a fact that I’m a poor substitute for you, and no amount of ice cream or screaming will fix the emptiness she feels.”
His chest ached at everything she’d said, and the sadness staring back at him twisted his gut into knots. He hated thinking about Jules in such pain, much less that he was causing that same heartache for Bellamy. But he didn’t know how to fix any of it, and he curled his hands into fists, biting his tongue to keep that frustration from coming out.
“She needs you right now, Grant,” Jules said angrily. “Even just a little piece of you would go a long way. Bellamy missed you so much for all those years you were gone, but you always made sure to FaceTime with her when you could. Then you got hurt and you stopped cold turkey. Do you have any idea what that was like for her?” she seethed. “It was hell for her. She and I spent a lot of time on that dune by the bungalow trying to remember the stories you’d told us over the years and praying with everything we had that you were going to be okay. Now you’re here, and it’s like you’re a ghost.” She pointed in the direction of the party. “That trusting, loving sister is the reason for you to set aside your anger and get your butt into that party.”