How could she pretend to be overflowing with joy when her insides felt as hollow as her words?
She was tired, frustrated, afraid for her marriage, worried about her son’s future and upset about her book club cookies. She didn’t know if she had time to deal with all the guilt and pain inextricably tangled with her sister.
“I wish you had told me you were coming. I could have planned dinner for you or something. I was just about to make some macaroni and cheese for the girls. I can cook extra, if you would like.”
“Not necessary,” Jess said with that same blasted smile that Rachel couldn’t read. “Thank you, but I just went grocery shopping and have plenty of food back at my trailer. I can help you clean up that mess, though. Looks like we had a cookie accident.”
“Eat,” Silas demanded, his voice more urgent.
“You can’t eat those,” Rachel said again. “They have glass on them. Yucky. Owie.”
“Eat!” Silas said, more loudly and forcefully. He had temporarily stopped wriggling in light of their surprise visitor but continued his efforts now to be free.
“You deal with him. I’ll clean this up. Point me to your broom and dustpan,” Jess said.
Rachel didn’t want to accept her help, which she knew was stupid. Her sister was only being kind. There was just so much painful history between them, so many unresolved issues that hung in the air like their father’s cigar smoke.
The truth was, she did need help. Silas was gearing up for a full-on meltdown if she didn’t head it off first.
“In the closet off the mudroom.”
With her chin, Rachel pointed vaguely in the direction she meant.
“I can show you,” Grace said, ever helpful.
Jess followed her. Rachel gave in and found the tin containing all the less-than-perfect cookies she had saved for the kids and Cody. She pulled one out for Silas, and two more for Grace and Ava, then pulled another for her sister.
While Jess cleaned up the mess, Rachel held her son at the table while he enjoyed his cookie as Grace and Ava regaled her sister with a play-by-play of what had transpired a few minutes earlier.
“These look like delicious cookies,” was Jess’s only comment. “Were they for some kind of special event?”
“I was supposed to have book club tonight. But I guess it’s fine that they’re ruined. Cody has to work late so I can’t go anyway.”
She tried for that same cheerful tone that she was far from feeling. As she might have suspected, Jess wasn’t fooled. Her sister gave her a careful look that Rachel met with an impassive smile of her own. She refused to let her sister see the cracks in the foundation of her marriage.
“He’s got so much work right now, it’s crazy. We’re having a construction boom in this area, plus you wouldn’t believe all the people who had storm damage from nasty weather this winter and decided to get entirely new roofs once they received an insurance check.”
“That’s great. It’s good that he’s staying busy.”
“Super busy.”
“These cookies are fantastic,” Jess said. “What did you do differently from usual sugar cookies?”
“To start with, I use the finest quality ingredients and I like almond extract instead of vanilla. But a lot of people do that. The real secret is in the icing. I add powdered culinary lavender to give it an extra pop. Some people add that to the dough but I like the flavor it brings to the icing instead.”
“I never would have thought of adding lavender to cookies. I didn’t know you could even do that. But it’s really delicious.”
Jess looked at the cookies then back at Rachel. “You know, I could probably stay with the kids until Cody gets home so that you don’t have to miss your book group.”
The offer shocked her almost as much as the fact that Jess was sitting here at her kitchen table eating one of her imperfect lavender sugar cookies. She was instantly tempted. Friends, conversation, alcohol. Mostly a few hours away from the unrelenting work involved in trying to stay sane amid the chaos of three children under the age of seven, including one with special needs.
Before she could agree, Silas wriggled off her lap and zeroed straight for his car, flapping his hands as he had started to do.
She couldn’t leave Jess with Silas. Not now, when his behavior was so out of control. She shrugged. “It’s fine. I haven’t read the book anyway.”
“I really don’t mind. As I said, I’ve been looking forward to spending more time with them while I’m here in Cape Sanctuary.”
“No. But thank you,” she said firmly, then changed the subject to avoid further argument. “You said you’re staying near Sunshine Cove. Are you helping Eleanor Whitaker?”
Jess made a face. “I try not to talk about my work, for the client’s privacy. But since that’s where my trailer is parked right now, which is easy enough to find, you will eventually figure it out. Yes. I’m helping Eleanor clean out Whitaker House.”
“Oh, I love that place. It’s so gorgeous and dripping with history.”
“Yes.”
“I had no idea Eleanor was cleaning it out. Is she putting it on the market? I have many contacts online who would jump at the chance to buy that house, right on the water with those views and that gorgeous Craftsman architecture.”
“I don’t know her plans. I only know she’s asked me to help her clear out years of accumulated stuff.”
“Is she having an estate sale? Oh wow, the treasures I bet you could find in there.”
“We still have to figure all that out. I don’t know her plans. And I couldn’t share them, even if I knew. My clients trust me not to talk about their business.”
“I totally get it. No problem. I’ll just ask her myself. Eleanor is one of my good friends. In fact, she’s supposed to be going to book club tonight.”
“Except you’re not going to book club because you don’t think I can handle staying with your kids.”
“I never said that,” Rachel protested, though of course that was absolutely what she thought.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll have plenty of other chances to hang out with them.”
“Yay!” Grace exclaimed, already gazing with hero worship at her aunt. “Did you see my coloring page? I only messed up one place. See, on the dog’s head? I wanted both ears to be brown but I forgot and did one ear black. You can’t erase crayons.”
“That is an unfortunate truth,” Jess said. “But I like a dog who has different-colored ears. It gives him a little more personality.”