* * *
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Rose had had no contact with Nicolas since the affair became obvious at the Cannes Film Festival, and she hoped she wouldn’t see him in Paris, although she knew from Nadia that he still spent time at the house, stayed there frequently, and hadn’t moved out. He visited his daughters daily. They knew nothing about Pascale and the baby, which seemed miraculous to Rose, given the furor in the press. But at seven and ten, they were sheltered and knew nothing of their father’s behavior, and their mother didn’t tell them, and was keeping them off the internet.
Rose was planning to urge her daughter to consult a lawyer as soon as possible. Rose had never felt as conflicted as she did now in her role as editor of Mode Magazine, delivering what their readers wanted, satisfying their curiosity about two people so publicly enamored with each other. She knew that contributing to the feeding frenzy would hurt her daughter deeply and make her feel even more betrayed.
Rose had a heavy heart as she boarded the Air France flight on Friday night after she left the office. All of Nadia’s sisters were up in arms on her behalf. They didn’t criticize their mother for the upcoming cover and interview with Pascale that would appear in Mode, but they hated Nicolas for what he was doing to their sister, and they closed ranks around her to support her.
Rose had said nothing at the magazine about her personal connection to Nicolas Bateau, and no one except her assistant, Jen Morgan, remembered. Others vaguely recalled that she had a married daughter who lived in France, but not for an instant did they suspect the heartbreak it was for Rose.
Rose was quiet and pensive as the plane landed early the next morning at Charles de Gaulle airport. She wanted to see her daughter now and comfort her. She had left her role as editor of the world’s most influential fashion magazine behind in New York. All she was in Paris was Nadia’s mother, and she hoped her presence would be enough to give her daughter strength to face the nightmare she was living and the grief that lay ahead.
Chapter 2
Nicolas came home for dinner on Friday night, as he still did several times a week, to be with his children and see his wife. He didn’t always spend the night, and slipped away after the girls were asleep so they didn’t know that he had left. They thought he had left for work early the next morning. He still spent some nights at home, though not many, because he wanted to keep up appearances for his daughters as much as possible. And he wanted to see Nadia too. Absurdly, he didn’t want to lose her, despite what he was doing and the way he was behaving. He was loving and kind to Nadia and the girls when he came home, which somehow made the situation even more painful for Nadia.
She was willing to cooperate for the girls’ sake, at least for a while. He had always been a devoted father and adored his daughters. He had been a good husband too, with the one brief exception eight years before, and nothing untoward since. He and Nadia had a solid, loving relationship, or so she thought, until very recently, when she discovered his affair with Pascale Solon.
Since he’d been on location for part of the shooting of the fateful film that had destroyed their marriage, she had been unaware of his spending his off hours, or nights, with Pascale. He had been managing it carefully once they got back to Paris. Nadia had suspected nothing. It had all exploded at the Cannes Film Festival, when he had been openly amorous with Pascale. He told Nadia it was as though he had forgotten who he was for those few days, and the press jumped on it immediately. He confessed everything to Nadia after Pascale told him, while they were there, that she was having his baby. He had lost his mind for a few days. For months before that, he had been excited, and terrified to be discovered. He thought he was in love with her and said he was flattered that a girl so young and beautiful would want him. He had thought it was a passionate interlude that would only last while they were making the movie, and Nadia would never know. He never wanted to hurt her and told her he had had no intention of ever doing anything like it again, with Pascale or anyone else, and he didn’t want to risk his marriage. He had wanted to end the affair when the filming of the movie ended.
He knew that Pascale had a habit of becoming involved with whomever she was working with, which was not unusual among actors and producers or directors. And he assumed she would want to end it too. There was an otherworldly kind of atmosphere on a movie set, and then you came back to earth and went back to your own life. He had tried to do that with Pascale, and had counted on Nadia never finding out, and leaving the affair behind him on the movie set. And then Pascale had begged him to see her again, once they got home to Paris. He had, and discovered that their physical passion became addictive. He knew he had to stop, and wanted to, but discovered he couldn’t. She wouldn’t let him. Pascale appeared so lost and vulnerable, suddenly cast into the pressure and demands of major stardom, it made him want to protect and take care of her, just until she got on her feet.
She had been so overwhelmed and terrified at the Cannes Festival, it had been endearing, and he believed he was in love with her. Then she told him about the baby, and he realized that they had created a new life together, which touched him profoundly, as it had when he and Nadia first conceived their babies. It made his bond to Pascale suddenly real. It was almost as though he forgot he had another life, and a wife and children. All he could think of was this delicate, gentle young woman, and the child that would be theirs forever. Her beauty wasn’t what drew him to her. He thought Nadia just as beautiful, which he told her, though she didn’t believe him. But the new life growing inside Pascale now had made him suddenly willing to risk everything so he could be with her and protect her, at least until the baby came.
And then after the Festival, he woke up when he got home. Within days, he knew the terrible mistake he had made having the affair, letting it show in Cannes, admitting to the affair publicly, and telling Pascale that he loved her when she told him about the baby. It was almost like being in a movie, only it was real. Now everything and everyone he loved was on the line. He was faced with the consequences of his actions. He told Nadia honestly everything that had happened, even that the affair had gone on for months, all during the filming of the movie. Hearing it was like a dagger being plunged into Nadia’s heart, particularly for a woman who was so honest and pure and faithful. Her quiet dignity as she listened made it even worse.
In the beginning, he hadn’t faced what his passion and elation could cost him later, and now he was trying to hold the torn shreds of his marriage together, and not lose Nadia, while trying to work things out with Pascale in some reasonable way. He had a responsibility to her too now, which he didn’t want to shirk. He had never tried to dodge his obligations, and never wanted to fall short with the people he loved and who counted on him. Even now, he wanted to continue to be a husband to Nadia, but she said she just couldn’t do that, not after being publicly humiliated for the past month and especially now that he was having a baby with another woman. His clandestine indiscretion while making the movie would have repercussions for the rest of their lives, whatever they did. Nadia had told him that Pascale’s pregnancy was the final blow to their marriage. It devastated him to hear it, and know it was true. He was going to lose everyone and everything he loved most. And he knew he deserved it.