“Knock, knock,” I said through the locked screen door.
“Oh, hey.” Zoey opened the door for me. “I was just making dinner.”
The moment I stepped inside, a feeling of warmth enveloped me. Photos of Zoey and me through the years greeted me everywhere I looked. Even when we’d lacked in other things, we’d always been happy. Zoey had never married or had kids, and Mom joked that between the two of us, she would never be a grandma, but we knew she would never expect us to live our lives for her. “Smells good, sis.”
“Thanks.”
I sat at the breakfast bar. We chatted for a few minutes, about the hospital, Mom, who was at work, and things like that. Mom had gone back to school as an adult and was now a therapist working with at-risk and homeless youth. I figured those kids were like her own, which was probably why the no-grandchildren thing didn’t bother her.
“I went on a date last night,” Zoey told me. She was thirty-one, ten years younger than me.
“No shit?”
“No shit. I haven’t decided if I want to see him again, though. He has this weird nasal laugh.”
“Oh my God.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re so damn picky.” That was part of why Zoey was single. She found something wrong with everyone.
“And you’re not? You’ve had one serious relationship in your life, and since then, all you do is play with your boys.”
While Mom definitely didn’t know the things I was into when it came to sex, Zoey did. I shared almost everything with my sister, while Mom still talked to me about Tony, not understanding why things hadn’t worked out with us, even though we’d broken up in college. “Playing with boys is fun.” I winked, and she shook her head.
“Is it? Last time we talked, you said you felt like something had been missing lately.”
Me and my big mouth. I’d forgotten I talked to her about that. The truth was, it had felt like something was missing lately. I blamed Aidan for that. Seeing how happy he was with Finley made me want more, but none of the men I’d played with sparked my interest outside of a scene from time to time. I wanted…something, though I didn’t know what it was. Or, well, I wanted what Aidan had, but how did one go about finding it?
“Yeah, it has been. You don’t happen to know a male, submissive-leaning switch who is everything I want, even though I don’t know what that is, do you?”
“Sorry, big bro. I don’t.”
“Damn it. Worth a try.” I wanted someone I could take care of, in a way. I wasn’t sure if I wanted as much control as Aidan had. I’d never done the total power exchange, twenty-four seven, but Aidan hadn’t either before Finley. Still, Aidan was one hundred percent dominant, and I wasn’t, so that wouldn’t work for me. I needed someone who would give up control, except when I needed to hand over the reins…or, on rare occasions, when they needed to hold them. Someone who would do anything for the people they loved. I wanted someone who enjoyed a night out the way I did, but who also had simple tastes and understood what it was like to have nothing. With most, it was one or the other, and I believed that in order to appreciate having something, you had to have come from nothing. “Jesus, now I’m sitting here thinking about what I want in a man. Thanks a lot, Zoe.”
She laughed. “Do you want me to hook you up with Nasal Laugh? I think he might be bi. I don’t know if he’ll let you boss him around and spank him, though, or whatever it is you do.”
“Aaaand, that’s enough of that conversation for one day.” I got up to help her finish cooking dinner. The last thing I wanted was to share with Zoey explicit details of how I played.
I didn’t stay long after we ate. I went home and basically did jack shit.
The next day around midafternoon, I drove to Aidan’s. We were having a small get-together at their place before he and Finley left for Texas. Fin spent a few weeks with his family at the beginning of each summer, and this time, Aidan was going with him.
I could hear music playing in the backyard, which had never happened in all the years I’d known Aidan, not until he’d brought his boy home. I went through the side gate, which he’d said he’d leave unlocked for me. Finley, Ian, and Jordan were in the pool, while Aidan sat in a lounge chair, in swimming trunks and no shirt, working on his laptop. I set my bag down and took the seat beside him. “Why are you working? I thought this was a party.”
“Why are you asking? I thought you knew me,” he countered with a smirk.
“That I do, but you know me too, so put it away, otherwise I’m gonna harass you about it the whole time.”
“I’ll let that order pass because Finley has already given me a hard time about it as well.” Aidan put his computer in the bag and set it behind the chair.
“Hey, David, you’re here! Come swimming with us!” Jordan called from the pool with a big toothy grin, his hair plastered against his forehead. He was cute as hell. I thought so since the first time I saw him. He was always more talkative to me than Ian was, though I felt I’d gotten to know both of them quite a bit over the past couple of years. We didn’t spend time together without Aidan and Finley, but we were all fixtures in their lives, so it made sense. “Pleeeease?” Jordan begged when I didn’t answer right away.
That one would be a handful for any man he ended up with. He could use a firm hand, if you asked me. “I will in a little while.” He poked out his bottom lip, pretending to pout. “You keep doing that, and I’m gonna bite it.”
He smiled, shrugged. “I hope so.”
Well, well, well. That was different. I didn’t have the chance to reply before Ian splashed, then dunked him, and the three of them began playing around.
“Jesus, when is that kid gonna acknowledge he’s submissive as hell?” Aidan mused.
“I don’t know, but he’s clearly interested and naturally inclined. Even the way he asked if he could jerk off that time? Ian didn’t ask. Jordan did.”
“I remember.” Aidan nodded. “I thought the same thing more than once.” We were quiet for a moment before Aidan said, “I’m gonna bring my computer inside. Want a margarita?”
“You have to ask?”
Aidan chuckled, stood, and went into the house.
I watched as the three of them splashed and played with one another. Finley had come out of his shell a great deal since he and Aidan had begun. Jordan was…well, even from that first night when I met him, there was no shell. Jordan was who he was—flirty, playful—but I sensed a neediness under the surface. He wouldn’t be shy to ask for what he wanted, yet I thought there were things he needed that he hadn’t even admitted to himself. He played things off like he had no worries in the world, but there was more to him than that.
He looked my way and winked. Oh, someone was feeling feisty today.
My gaze wandered toward Ian. He had a slightly bigger frame than Jordan, and was a little taller too. He had more meat on his bones but wasn’t heavy in any way, just more filled out. His hair was a darker brown than Jordan’s, almost black, and his eyes a warm sky blue, which contrasted with how cautious he was.
Definitely intriguing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was, couldn’t figure Ian out, and that was new for me. I was good at reading people. What I did know was he loved Finley. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for him. I thought Ian believed he needed to take care of him, like Finley was his responsibility, at least before Aidan. He was a good friend, worked hard, hadn’t been given many breaks in life. He acted like he let it all roll off his back, but most of the time, that really meant a person was pretending all that didn’t exist.