“Because there are thousands of women who try to get pregnant who can’t. I’ve already got two beautiful, perfect, and healthy children. What right do I have to be sad that I’m not pregnant after only trying for a couple of months?”
“That’s not being selfish, Molly. That’s being human. There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel. With that being said, don’t let this get you down. I have no doubt you’ll be pregnant in no time. You know our family. A man could simply give one of us women a sexy look, and she’ll end up pregnant.”
A giggle escapes me. She’s right. The females in our family are extremely fertile. Mom got pregnant with me while she was on birth control and using a condom. My sister, Lindsay, got pregnant with my niece, Aubree, even though she and her boyfriend at the time hadn’t had sex. According to her, she and Joe were only fooling around naked.
“I know,” I sigh. “It’s silly of me to stress.”
“Not silly either. Give yourself some time.”
I sit up and drop my feet to the floor, my eyes landing on my open journal. Looking at the scribbled words, I wish I could retract them. I hate writing negative stuff in my Linc journal.
“How are you and Dad? Are we still on for dinner this Sunday?”
“Now that’s silly.” She laughs. “When have we ever not been on for Sunday dinner?”
It’s true. Sundays are dinner nights at my parents’ house and Mondays are reserved for Lincoln’s family’s house. It’s been that way for years.
“Are you and Dad excited about the cruise? I’ve told you I’m jealous of you, right?”
Her breath fans through the speaker when she laughs again. “Multiple times. And yes, these next two months can’t go fast enough.”
“You and Dad deserve this.”
“I won’t disagree with you there.”
After working years at the post office, Mom finally retired last year. Dad retired from the mill nine months ago. Mom’s been itching to go on a cruise since she decided to retire at her twenty-five-year mark.
We talk for a few more minutes about Dad driving her crazy since he’s retired, and how well the new veterinarian in my office is working out. My mood has drastically changed by the time we hang up. I should have answered Mom’s first call. Talking to her always helps.
I drop my phone on the coffee table, only for it to immediately ring again. I smile at the name on the screen.
“Hey, you.”
“What’s up, buttercup?”
I laugh at my best friend’s cheery voice. “It feels like it’s been forever since I talked to you.”
“Psst,” she scoffs. “That’s because it has. You’ve been too busy for your best friend lately.”
I let out a breath. “Seems like I’ve been too busy for everyone lately. Things were crazy at the clinic for a while.”
“Were? I take it you finally decided to hire another vet?”
I tuck one of my legs under my butt. “Yeah. I kinda had to. The workload was becoming too much for just me.”
“It’s about time,” she mumbles. “You’re only one person. It’s nice to know you finally see that.”
“Whatever,” I say with a laugh. “Anywho. How have you been? You still seeing that guy? What was his name? Bryant?”
“Yeah. Bryant.” Her voice is quiet, so I know there’s more.
“Jenna? Everything okay?”
“Everything’s great. Pretty damn perfect, actually.” She pauses. “I really like him, Molly.”
I smile. “That’s a good thing, right?”
“It is. But it’s also scary.”
“Any relationship in the beginning is scary. It’s supposed to be.”
Only her breathing comes through the line for several seconds.
“I don’t know if I’m ready,” she admits quietly.
“It’s been five years, Jenna,” I remind her heedlessly. There’s no way she’d ever forget how long it’s been. “Answer this. Does he make you happy?”
Her answer comes immediately. “Yes.”
“Then you’re ready. You’ve been grieving for a long time. It’s time to let yourself move on and feel again. Dillon would want that for you.”
Jenna and her childhood sweetheart, Dillon, married right after college. The company that hired Dillon moved them out to Tulsa. Tragically, he died five years ago from a hit and run. The day Jenna had Violet, Dillon was crossing the street after getting her favorite ice cream. A drunk driver ran a red light and hit Dillon, killing him instantly. Violet wasn’t even a day old yet, and she was already fatherless. It devastated Jenna, and it’s taken her this long to get to a place where she feels comfortable dating again. Lincoln and I haven’t met Bryant yet, but from what Jenna’s told me, he seems like a great guy. I really hope it works out for her.
“I know,” she says. “He really is a good guy. I’ve brought him around Violet a couple of times. He doesn’t have any kids of his own, but he’s great with her.”
My leg starts cramping, so I pull it out from underneath me. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
“We need to plan a trip out there. I miss my best friend.”
“I miss you too,” I tell her.
Jenna has been my best friend since ninth grade when her family moved in a couple blocks from my parents’ house. I hated her at first because I thought she liked Lincoln. She was always really nice to him and what I thought was flirty. Come to find out, she was just a genuinely nice person. I ignored her the best I could, even though she tried her best to be nice to me. One day, I stayed behind after class to speak with my teacher about an assignment. When I left the room, I found Jenna waiting for me. She asked why I didn’t like her, and when I told her the reason, she explained that she had no interest in Lincoln other than friendship. She actually had a boyfriend who lived a couple of towns over. With stars in her eyes as she spoke about him, I knew she was telling the truth. That was the day our friendship started.
“Anyway, enough about me. Tell me how you’ve been. Besides being swamped at work.”
Putting the phone between my ear and shoulder, I grab my bottle of water, twist off the cap, and take a swallow.
“Not a lot, really. Since I hired the new vet, I’ve had more time off work. Lincoln and I decided to try for another baby.”
I giggle and snatch the phone away from my ear when she squeals.
“So this means I’ll have another niece or nephew soon?” she asks excitedly.
“Well,” I grin, “I have to get pregnant first, but yeah, that’s the plan.”
“This makes me so happy for you guys. I know how much you want another baby.”
A tiny pinch of pain pierces my chest. I have wanted another baby for a while, which makes the reason why those three negative pregnancy tests hurt so much.
We spend the next few minutes catching up on life since the last time we spoke. In the background, I hear Violet calling for her mom, so I let her go play momma.
“I want to know as soon as you find out you’re pregnant,” she demands before we hang up.
“You’ll be the first I call,” I promise.