"I'm hot enough for your sister?"
She laughs. "That is what I said, isn't it?"
"It is."
Her expression stays easy. "It's true. She's eighteen."
"And obsessed with sex?"
"Very. She likes guys if they're attractive. And she already likes you. The idea of you."
"What does she know?"
"I had a fling with a rich guy from London. And now, I'm on a date with him. None of the other details." Her cheeks flush. She's teasing.
I need to tease her back. "Which would you tell her? If she wasn't your sister."
Her gaze flits to my tie. "I wouldn't. I want those details for myself."
Blood rushes south.
"I haven't… I've been with two other guys since you. Neither of them was important to me. Neither one of them took your place."
"My place?"
"Who I think about. When I touch myself." Her fingers brush my thigh. "Do you think of me?"
"Of course." I wrap my fingers around her wrist. Hold her hand where it is, against my thigh.
I can't have her touching me. Not yet.
I'll tell her when she's allowed to touch me.
I tighten my grip. Not hard enough to hurt. Only hard enough she knows I can overpower her. If she wants me to.
Not yet.
After I earn her trust.
The waitress interrupts with our next round. Clears her throat. "I'll come back if you're not ready."
Under the table, I release Indigo's wrist. "I'm ready. Are you?"
She nods yes, still in a daze. "I am starving."
I order the seared sea bass. Point to the item she'll like best. A spicy seafood pasta.
She repeats the words. Passes back the menu with a smile. Waits until the waitress is out of earshot.
"I do get jealous." She brings her drink to her lips. Takes a long sip. "Of the other women. Not just now. Before. And when you were with her." She sets her drink on the table.
There have been a lot of women. I was with Rory for a long time.
The women didn't matter, but Rory—
There's nothing I can say to soothe Indigo. Nothing true. I was in love with Rory. I wanted to spend my entire life with her.
I would have done anything to make that happen.
Then she broke my heart. Took it with her.
"You loved her. I know that." Her eyes find mine. "And you'll never love me. I know that too." She pauses. "But this…" Her fingers skim my tie. "You don't do it with your friends. With her?"
"I told you—"
"I asked. You didn't answer." She runs her fingers up my tie, over the knot, along my neck. "I told you the truth. That you were the only one. That's all I want from you. The truth."
"The truth?"
"Yes." She nods. "You knew what you were doing when we met. You knew what you wanted."
I did.
"So tell me. Was I the first? The last? Or just another in a long line?" She licks her lips. "Will it mean anything to you"—her fingers skim my thigh—"if I close my eyes and promise to obey? Or will I be another girl you tied to your bed?"
Chapter Thirteen
Ty
Fuck. She's winning and she's not even trying.
I sift through the details. There were women before her. And after.
Rory was the only one who mattered.
And I wanted her. I did. I wanted to possess her in every way I could.
She was a good girl from a nice family. Accommodating, sweet, willing to try.
But not interested in anything out of the ordinary.
"There were others before you," I say.
"How many?"
"Does that matter?"
Indie holds my gaze.
"A few. It always interested me, but it scared me too." It still does. The man I became with her. Rough. Brutal. Willing to do anything. "And it scared her."
"Rory?"
I nod. Push aside memories of the fear in her eyes. The tremble of her chest. The shakiness in her voice. "We found a middle ground."
"And that was enough for you?"
"Yes." I thought so. I loved her. And I loved making her come.
So what if she didn't appreciate a rough touch?
I didn't appreciate ballet.
We both made compromises.
That's what grown-ups do.
It was enough. I told myself it was enough. I believed it.
Now—
I don't know. Maybe something was missing.
Maybe that's why she left.
"I missed it," I say. "But I was satisfied." The words don't feel true, but that's ridiculous.
I never considered leaving her.
I wasn't going to be that man. The one who traded his wife for a newer, younger, more adventurous model every ten years.
I was committed.
And that mattered more than anything.
Being there. Living up to the promises I made her.
Being what she needed.
Indigo's voice is soft. "And since Rory… have you?"
"No."
"What if I said I wasn't interested?"
"Are you going to lie to me?"
Her cheeks flush. "Hypothetically."
"You wouldn't."
"But what if I did? What if we stayed married forever and I wouldn't fuck you?"
"What are you asking?"
"Well…" She presses her lips together. "Would there be someone else?"
"No. Never."
Her eyes meet mine. "I believe you. You would deny that part of yourself. Even if it killed you."
"I have a hand."
A laugh spills from her lips. "Yes. I've experienced it." She takes a long sip. "I haven't agreed to fuck you, you know."
"Yes, you have."
"I haven't agreed to obey."
"You know what happens when I have to repeat myself."
"I… uh…" She pushes past her blush. "Were you ever tempted? With Rory?"
I shake my head.
"Even though she didn't fill your needs?"
Fuck, how does she state it so plainly?
I can barely admit the idea to myself. And she says it like it's the weather. Like it's obvious to anyone with half a brain.
"I guess… I don't know what that's like. I've never been in love. You were the closest I came," she says. "And that was the most I came. With you."
"You need it rough?"
"I don't know. I haven't trusted anyone else enough to really try."
"But you've enjoyed fucking other men?"
"Will you get jealous if I say yes?"
"Yes."
"It was better with you. If that's what you're asking." Defiance fills her expression. "It was always better with you. But you already knew that."
When we were together three years ago, sure.
But I don't know what she's done.
Who she's fucked.
How hard she's come.
"Did you enjoy it?" I ask.