There had been a time when he’d believed that, and he wished to hell it were true, but he knew better. “If you’d watched your brothers’ hearts break and your family fall apart at the seams, you’d think otherwise. I’m going to muck out the stalls.” He grabbed his phone and stormed out before he said anything else he’d regret.
TRIXIE STARED AFTER him, wondering what the hell had just happened. She sank back against the counter, curling her fingers around the edge to stabilize herself against the emotions whipping through her. She’d seen him go after people when pushed, but he’d never turned all that power on her, much less said such blatantly sexual things about her. About others, sure, but never about her. She’d obviously struck a nerve, and she felt bad about that. She hadn’t meant to start such a heated debate, but when she’d seen that text, she’d been consumed with jealousy she had no business feeling, which had made her angry, and she’d been unable to hold back. She knew he hooked up with women. He’d never hidden that from her, but seeing that text had made it real, and she’d wanted to know why he chose those types of women.
She still wanted to know why, but now she also wanted to know why he tied love to destruction, and why he’d said those things about his family when he had an incredible family who supported each other through thick and thin.
She hurt for him. But she was too distracted by the other things he’d said and the way he’d said them to think it through. He’d practically read her mind about the kind of man she wanted, and hearing Nick say those things had made her want him to be that man. She knew that was crazy, especially since he apparently had a warped view of love. But the raw hunger in his eyes, the greed in his voice, and the carnal desire that had pulsed between them, made her think he wanted her with the same bone-deep ache she wanted him. Had she imagined it? Was she misreading his anger for passion?
Her mind sped through the other things he’d said, lingering on his comment about her never being one of his women, and she knew she had misread him.
He didn’t want her.
He was just being Nick, the guy who didn’t like to be backed into a corner, who never started a fight but always finished it.
She was confused and disappointed and a little heartbroken. She stared at the door, wanting to go after him and knowing it was better to give him space.
A heavy sigh fell from her lips.
She took off his hat, clutching it against her chest as she headed into her bedroom. Despite the hurt and confusion, she was consumed with worry for the man, the friend she cared about so deeply and the pain he was in from whatever secrets he was keeping.
Chapter Five
AFTER SHOWERING, TRIXIE put on a pair of comfortable shorts and a tank top and sat on her bed with her laptop looking over the business plan she’d put together in the days before she’d arrived, trying not to overthink things with Nick. But her gaze kept drifting to his hat on the dresser, making it impossible not to think about every word he’d said. They’d argued and challenged each other before, but he’d never stormed off. This was different, and it felt personal. Not just because of what he’d said about her, but also because of what he’d revealed about himself.
If you’d watched your brothers’ hearts break and your family fall apart at the seams, you’d think otherwise.
Pushing to her feet, she paced, trying to puzzle out his past. She knew he’d been talking about when Beau and Zev had left home, but beyond telling her why they’d taken off, he’d never talked about that time in his life. If his family had struggled to hold things together, she’d never seen it or heard about it, though she was sure they’d all been affected by what had happened.
She picked up his hat, holding it against her chest again.
What aren’t you telling me?
She shoved her feet into her boots and pulled open the glass doors that led to the patio, stepping into the balmy night. As she closed the doors, she heard the faint sound of Nick’s guitar, and her heart constricted. She loved listening to him play and loved listening to him sing even more. But he refused to sing in front of her or anyone else. Usually, she’d let him be and would chill on the patio, secretly enjoying his music. But not after the bomb he’d dropped. She wasn’t about to let her friend think love meant destruction for the rest of his life. She had no idea what kinds of secrets he was harboring, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to let the stubborn mule stew in his heartache alone.
She followed the sounds of his guitar toward the pasture. A few minutes later she saw him sitting on the hill in the distance. He was shirtless, one knee bent, gazing out at the horses as he strummed his guitar. Goldie and Rowdy sat by his feet, and she was sure the dark bundle beside him was Pugsly. She approached them slowly, soaking in the rare moment when Nick’s every muscle wasn’t on full alert. But even before the dogs sensed her, Nick whipped his head in her direction, those dark eyes narrowing as she neared. The dogs barked and dashed toward her.
“Hi, guys.” As she knelt to love them up, Nick turned away, the muscles in his jaw bunching. She scooped up Pugsly, letting her grunty boy give her kisses as she made her way to Nick. Goldie and Rowdy took turns nosing and licking her free hand.
“Here,” Nick barked, and the dogs trotted over to him.
He continued playing the guitar. He must have come in to shower when she was in her room, because his hair was wet, and he smelled like soap, man, and frustration all wrapped up into one incredibly muscular, broody package. She’d always loved his body. He had just the right amount of chest hair, and she’d thought about how it would feel beneath her fingers and brushing over her breasts too many times to count. But she wasn’t there to admire his physique. That was just a bonus.
“Hi.” She lowered herself to the grass beside him.
He nodded, jaw tight, eyes on the horses as he played the guitar.
Pugsly stood on her lap, noisily breathing and staring at Nick, but Nick didn’t even look over. That made her a little nervous. He adored Pugsly.
“Have you cooled down yet, or should I get the hose?”
He slid her an unamused look.
“Why are you so mad?” She petted Pugsly. “If anyone should be pissed, it’s me.”
He continued playing, his brows slanting in confusion.
“You said some serious shit about me, Nick,” she reminded him.
“Didn’t hear you denying it,” he said gruffly.
“You think you know me.”
A slow grin climbed across his face, but he continued staring straight ahead.
“What’s that shit-eating grin for?”
He didn’t respond.
“Whatever. What was all that stuff you said about your family? Do you really think love equates to destruction?”
His jaw clenched.
“Why? What happened after Tory died and your brothers left?”
His chest expanded, and he looked away.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” she said.
Tension billowed off him, and he continued strumming his guitar.
“I saw a crack in your armor, and you hate that, don’t you?”
His eyes narrowed.
“You want everyone to think you’re untouchable, but I know you, Nick. I’ve seen you sleep in the barn with your horses when they were acting out of sorts and pamper Goldie when she was pregnant. I was with you at the county fair when we found that lost little girl, and you were hell on wheels tracking down her parents. You feel a heck of a lot, and that’s a good thing. But not when you lock it inside and let it eat away at you.”