I'd even been able to bring Nox with me before he started school. Now, he just got off the bus at Lucy's and went to the office to do his homework. Admittedly, there wasn't much since he'd just started kindergarten this year, but still.
"No. I'm taking the day off."
Linc nodded, understanding perfectly, like he always did.
"That sounds good. I might stop by with dinner, if you want me to."
"No, thanks." I shook my head. "I think we're fine. I'm gonna—"
"Uncle Linc!" Nox shouted across the room, having just realized that Linc was in the house. He'd been so distracted by having his Gigi with him that he didn't even care who else was there. "Guess what we're going to do tonight?"
Linc raised an eyebrow at me, but I kept my mouth shut. I actually looked at Nox and shook my head, but there wasn't any stopping him from blabbing.
"I'm sorry," I managed to whisper.
Right before Nox stormed over and stared up at his uncle expectantly. With a laugh, Linc picked up Nox and held him in his arms. For a second, I imagined that's what Danny would have looked like with his son, and I had to turn away.
When I did, I saw the bittersweet expression on Rose's face, too.
"We're going with Auntie Kenny to go pick out her wedding dress."
"Oh that's… Wait, what?" Linc turned white as a sheet. Paler than I'd ever seen him before, and I'd known him since we were Nox's age. "What are you doing with Kennedy tonight, Parker?"
Nox started to giggle, not understanding exactly what was happening around him, and Linc set him down gently. Then he turned his full attention back on me and repeated his question.
"You heard him," I said briskly. Really, I didn't want to start any shit between Linc and Kennedy, but I wasn't about to lie to the only brother that I'd ever known. “Kennedy is getting married to that guy she’s been seeing.” The pain in Linc’s face caught me off guard, but I guess it shouldn't have. He loved Kennedy. He always had. Even when we were younger, dumber, and more likely to make mistakes. He’d always watched her, known every move she made.
"Kennedy's not getting married." Linc's voice dropped a decibel, almost becoming a growl. "It's not happening."
"It's happening," I told him as carefully as I could. "Look, it's not my place to tell you. And Nox didn't know it's not something he should have said. But before you fly off the handle, remember what you told me after Danny's funeral."
The look in his eyes told me that he remembered, and just like me, he would never forget that day.
My black dress caught in the door and almost tore from ass to knee, but Linc helped me escape. After all, I'd been fleeing from the hall before anyone could catch me and offer their condolences. At seven months pregnant, it hadn't been easy to waddle.
"I'm sorry," I ended up saying to him.
We stared at each other for a long time before his eyes moved to my stomach.
"I'm the one who should be sorry," he whispered. "I should have volunteered to take his place. I should have gone instead of him."
I slapped Linc across the face and couldn't even blame it on the hormones.
"Shut the fuck up, Lincoln Hayes!" I snapped at him, standing there in his dress blues, with haunted eyes that reminded me of Danny. "You don't get to do that. To say that. Never say that again. Danny would punch you in the face for it. Hell, your mother would tear your heart out of your chest for even suggesting it." I poked him, hard, and he didn't bother trying to stop me. He just stared at me with empty eyes.
"You're going to mourn him. Everyone in this godforsaken town will. And then you're going to put a ring on Kennedy's finger, and you're going to marry her."
"No, I'm not," Linc said, his voice ringing clearly in the open hall around us. "I'm deploying again. I shouldn't have even come home for the funeral."
"You're a coward, Lincoln Hayes."
His eyes, which had been on my stomach that entire time, flew back to meet mine.
"You're right. I am. But I'm not going to put Kennedy through the same pain you're going through. Remy has the right idea here."
With that, he walked away, and I didn't see him again until he came home for good.
My voice, full of the emotion from that day, and every day since, barely broke above a whisper. "You're not the same coward that you were, Linc. Don't let her marry someone else."
His eyes, which a second before had been filled with indignation and rage at the fact that Kennedy would marry someone who wasn't him, went flat—lifeless, even.
"Nothing to do about it."
"You still carry her picture," I pointed out. I'd seen him, on more than one occasion, pull the faded photo from his pocket and stare at it longingly. "That means something."
Linc sighed and then patted his chest. "Well, this has been nice. But I have to work. Mom, you and Emma are good to get home, right?"
Rose, who had been blatantly listening to their conversation nodded without saying another word, and Linc left.
"He's not gonna let her marry someone else." Emma's conviction filled her words, and Parker found herself hoping that the younger woman was right.
"I don't know about that one…" Rose whispered more to herself than anything. "We might have to interfere."
"I'm not doing shit," I told her. "Kennedy's my best friend, and I'm on her side."
Mama waved me off. "I wasn't talking about us, us. I was talking about me and Veronica." Veronica, Kennedy's mother, and Rose had practically raised all of us. The both of them were the mothers that I didn’t have after my parents died in a car accident when I was younger.
Emma stared at me, widening her eyes by a fraction when she saw the glint in her mother’s eyes. "We’re all in trouble," she muttered. "The woman’s got grandbabies on the brain."
I snorted, coming to stand next to my sister-in-law. "Maybe from you. I’ve already delivered the perfect specimen of a grandson for her." We both watched as Rose went back to playing with Nox, like she frequently did even though she’d dropped a bomb.
"Just wait," Emma warned me. "She’s going to try and find you another husband too."
I choked on my French toast.
"Never gonna happen."
But the way both Emma and Rose looked at me told a different story.
Fuck my life.
4
Remy
I held off on stalking Parker for a month. Then I couldn’t stand it anymore. I dragged Carter Malone, the new officer I was helping train, to a birthday party where I knew Parker would be with her son. I didn’t want to talk to her, at least that’s what I had convinced myself.
Even enduring Kennedy’s torment of Carter wasn’t enough to drag my attention away from her.
Then halfway through the kid's birthday party, we got a call on the radio about an officer needing assistance. I’ve never moved so fast in my entire life, except when I was racing through the desert overseas to the downed helicopter holding one of my friends..