Taking a deep breath, I pull an awkward face, as I admit, “I just… I,” I let out a sigh. “When I get married, I want the man to want me.”
Christopher tilts his head. “You think I won’t want you? Sexually or in general?”
“In every way,” I mutter, and then I finally admit, “I want to be desired.”
He takes a deep breath, then states, “Trust me, the instant you agree that we’re doing this, I’ll erase that worry for you.”
Trust me.
Locking eyes with Christopher, I know I’ll never find a better man. Being desired is not everything. I’ll learn to deal with it. Hesitating for a moment longer, I take a breath, then say, “Okay. Let’s do this.”
I do a double-take when Christopher’s expression begins to change, his jaw clenching until a vein starts to jump.
“Or not,” I say quickly, trying to defuse the bomb.
Hell, now I’m confused.
Slowly he shakes his head. “You’re okay with me kissing you?”
“Yeah, we have to see if –” My words cut off as Christopher moves forward. He wraps an arm around my waist, and then I’m yanked flush with his body. I let out a gasp, and before I can take another breath, his mouth crashes against mine.
I freeze.
Everything freezes for a couple of seconds, and the instant his lips begin to move against mine, my heart leaps out of my body, taking flight right out of the windows behind me.
Holy. Freaking. Shit.
Christopher brings a hand to the back of my head as he tilts his head. His tongue thrusts into my mouth, and then I have to grab hold of his shoulders as he pushes me against the glass.
Tingles explode over my skin, making it feel like my body is on a high.
His entire body presses against mine as he begins to kiss me in a way I’ve never experienced before. His tongue brushes confident strokes against mine, making a kaleidoscope of butterflies explode into action in my stomach. His teeth nip at my lips until they feel swollen and tingly.
My God.
With one kiss, Christopher is changing everything I thought I knew about us.
He makes it feel seductive, possessive, claiming.
It makes me feel desired.
Swept up in the moment, my tongue begins to war with his for control. It draws a growl from him, and the sound zaps through my body like a lightning strike.
When he breaks the kiss, our eyes instantly lock, and seeing Christopher breathless with an intense expression tightening his features makes me freaking weak in the knees.
Well, this is a side of my best friend I haven’t seen before.
Seconds pass before he says, “Safe to say there shouldn’t be any problems on the intimacy front.”
It’s the emotional side I’m worried about.
I pull myself free from the tight space between Christopher and the window and take a couple of steps away from him.
I have to be honest with him.
Turning around, I take a deep breath before I lift my eyes to his. “I don’t know if I can do it.” His expression instantly darkens, and it has me darting forward and grabbing hold of his hand. “Hear me out, please.” When he nods, I quickly continue, “That kiss was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I can’t kiss you like that and not fall for you.”
Christopher shakes his head. “What’s the problem?”
“I want to be in a relationship where the guy is head over heels in love with me as well. Being the only one who’s in love…” I let go of him, and taking a step back, I shake my head, “it will kill me emotionally.”
He frowns at me. “You think you’ll be the only one who will fall in love?”
I wrap my arms around my waist as I nod.
He looks at me like I’ve just said the most absurd thing ever. “Dash.” Shaking his head, he closes the distance between us, and taking hold of my shoulders, he leans a little down. “I already fucking love you.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m talking about falling in love.” I don’t know how else to explain it to him.
He lifts his hands to the sides of my neck and leans down until I can feel his breath on my lips. “Listen to what I’m saying,” he grinds the words out. “I’m attracted to you. I want this with you. I. Want. You.”
My gaze searches his, and seeing he’s dead serious, hope unfurls in my chest.
CHRISTOPHER
Finally, my fucking words are getting through to her.
“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I want you?” I address the heart of the problem.
Dash pulls away from me and goes to sit at the round table. “We’ve been friends our entire lives. You never wanted me like that before, so why now?”
Pulling a chair out, I turn it, so I’m facing her before I sit down. Leaning forward, I take hold of her chair and turn it toward me, then I lock eyes with her. “Why do you think I’ve never had a serious relationship before? It wasn’t because we’re friends, Dash. It was because I just couldn’t. It felt like I was betraying you. After the shit with Josh, I knew you needed time to heal. You didn’t date, and I had you with me twenty-four-seven. I was okay with waiting until you turned thirty, and that was a mistake on my part. I’ve always loved you. You know this.”
She shakes her head. “But you were the freaking king of one-night stands at Trinity.”
“Seriously?” I shake my head and let out a silent burst of laughter. “I have not been with anyone since the night you ended things with Josh.”
Dash stares at me as she processes what I’m saying, then she says, “I know you love me, but wanting me is a whole different story. It’s hard to fathom that you see me as a woman and not just… Dash.”
Lifting my hands, I frame her face as I lean closer. “You’re the first face I see every single day. You’re the last thing I think of every night. I don’t want to marry you because you’re my best friend. I want everything with you because you’re the only goddamn woman on the face of this planet I want a future with. I can’t even comprehend not having you in my life. I’ve always put you first because that’s how much you mean to me. You’re my priority.”
Dash begins to shake her head, and it has me tightening my grip on her. “Let me finish.”
When she nods, I continue, “When you told me about your fucking insane idea of going to a sperm bank, I almost lost my mind. Just thinking about you having another man’s baby…” I shake my head hard. “I would never allow that because you’re mine. I wanted to ease you into a relationship with me, and that was another mistake on my part. The night you ended things with Josh, I realized you were it for me. Not because we’re friends. Because I love you as a woman, Dash. I want you body, heart, and soul.”
Her eyes begin to shine, and when she takes a shaky breath, I close the distance between us and press my mouth to hers. Slipping a hand around her waist, I push to my feet and hold her to me as I begin to show her how much I want her.
I know how important this is for Dash. Like I need to be dominant, she needs to be desired.
Breaking the kiss for a moment, I grab hold of her ass and lift her onto the table. I move my hands to her skirt, and pushing the fabric up on her thighs, I force her legs apart so I can step between them.