I ignored the cops comment—the thought of telling other people what had happened wasn’t worth facing right now. “He knew I was stupid, gullible…”
“Hey no, you are not gullible, not at all!” Ryker’s fingers continued their gentle stroking of my hair and temple. “You’re a warm, trusting man. This is not your fault, Jacob. It’s his, and he will pay for doing this!”
His anger flowed out of him. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I hit him. He’ll ruin me, Ry. I won’t be able to get another job in ag research ever again.” My gut cramped. Ryker leaned over to press his lips to my brow. “I should have listened to you. I’m such a damned fool.”
“No you’re not. You’re a loving soul with an open heart. That asshole saw that and took advantage of it. This all rests on him.” A moment passed. “Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me what you do remember?”
I told him, all of it, or all of which I could dredge up. The table flipping… the pitcher smashing on the concrete and then… nothing. Nothing until I came to and Adam was hovering over me, touching my arm as if he had a right to. I had to fight back the urge to gag.
Eventually, I quieted and somehow I fell into a fitful sleep. When I woke from a strange, empty sort of dream, I sat up and was happy to see that the room stayed in place. The sun was high in the sky, noonish or so I guessed, and Ryker was out on the balcony talking to someone on his cell in just a pair of cutoff denim shorts. The door was cracked, so I could hear his side of the conversation as I massaged my temples. I had a headache tiptoeing around the inside of my skull. Stress, for sure, and perhaps a remnant of the drug Adam had dosed me with.
“… yeah, no, I can get him there. Yeah, thanks so much. I owe you big time, Sharpy.”
I stood, easing to my feet, and padded slowly to the door. Ryker glanced at me with such compassion in his hazel eyes I nearly lost my control. Instead, I swallowed down the ball of feels and stepped outside.
“Hey,” he said, slipping his phone into his back pocket. “How do you feel?”
“Mm, weird. Like… like I’d traveled through time but jumped some hours. Or flown through a few dozen timelines. Who were you talking to?” I asked, looking out over Tucson. The sun on my face felt good. My insides were still cold and clammy.
“I was thinking we should get some tests—”
“I don’t want to go to a hospital—”
“I spoke to Sharpy, the trainer for the Raptors, he said he’d help.”
“The fuck? You told some random guy—”
“No, he’s Sharpy, we can trust him.”
“I don’t like it.”
Ryker stood next to me. I glanced his way. The wind plucked at some curls. He had dark bags under his eyes. Had he slept at all? “Babe, you should get some testing done and get checked out.” I shivered. Ryker slipped closer, his arm coming around my back. I closed my eyes and let my head fall to rest on his. “You need to know things.”
Things. Like if I’d been given an STD of some kind. Fuck. I wanted to hide in a closet at the same time I wanted to go find Adam and beat him into a coma.
“I don’t think he did… that to me,” I whispered into the soft desert wind. “I don’t feel…”
Ryker hugged me tight. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it now, but you do need to be tested and have a doctor check you out. Sharpy, Kevin Sharp, you remember him. Big guy, red hair, a wicked sense of humor. He’s willing to do the testing. He runs them on us players all the time. We can go to the barn whenever you’re ready. I’ll be with you the whole time he does the tests.”
How the hell had this become my life? Why had I been so fucking trusting? God, I was a moron.
“Okay yeah, I just… want to shower first.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t.”
“Fuck, Ry.”
He hugged me hard and held me up, held my hand, held my heart and soul as we snuck into the arena like thieves. There was no official practice today but there would be players in the building as it wasn’t unknown for Coach to call in players for one-on-one chats. Ryker had pre-empted that, but he’d exaggerated and said he had a stomach bug, and would let Coach know if the doc said he was going to be at practice the next day. I knew what he was doing—giving himself the option of staying with me, and that was another shit thing to happen in a list of shit things.
A silent but sorrowful Sharpy drew the blood. He never once asked why I hadn’t gone to the hospital or the cops, he just carefully tended to me. Then there were swabs placed in places where no swab should ever go. Followed by an exam that left me wanting to bury my head in the sand and never extract it. I hated it and I hated myself for being such a sheep. I’d owned cattle with more common sense than I had displayed. I should have never gone to his place alone. I should have picked up on the same things Ryker had picked upon.
“Hey, don’t go there, okay?” Ryker said. I nodded but my brain kept trucking along those same rutted roads of regret. “We’ll have your results in a few hours. Sharpy already said that there were no signs of assault and…”
He drifted off.
“Yeah, thank God.”
After thanking the Raptors’ trainer we slipped out through the back exit, nodding at the security guard who was stationed there. Luckily, we ran into no one. Ry insisted on stopping at a local chicken shack for takeout. I rode along, uncaring about the smell of herbs and spices even though my stomach was gurgling with hunger. Once we were home, I showered, scrubbing myself clean with such vigor my skin ached when I ran a towel over it.
“Come sit and eat,” Ryker said the moment I stepped into the kitchen in a T-shirt and worn fleece shorts.
He piled a plate full of chicken breasts, mashed potatoes, and coleslaw. He was wolfing down tenders and fries, his worried gaze on me as I forked up some spuds. The gravy wasn’t as good as Mom’s and the slaw was a little old-tasting, but I dove into the food ravenously. Each time I would glance up, Ryker smiled at me and passed along another buttermilk biscuit. Halfway through our meal I took a small milk break. Ry wiped his fingers on some paper towels.
“What?” I asked when he stared at me.
He blinked. “I just… I want you to know that I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’ve been thinking, and if you want to postpone the wedding I would totally get it.”
“Is that what you want?” Would he ever want me that way again? Was Ryker having second thoughts? Was this going to destroy everything?
“Fuck no, I’m thinking of you,” Ryker said with passion.
“No. No way in hell does Adam get to ruin our day. The fucker already tanked my career, he is not getting the pleasure of fucking up our wedding!”
Ryker reached out to take my hand. My fingers curled around his. “I’m glad to hear that fight in your voice. When I found you… and then when we came home… I was scared for you.”
“It was bad.” I had to admit. My phone buzzed. Checking it I saw it was the lab calling back with my results. I threw Ryker a worried look. “Test results.”
“We got this.” He squeezed my fingers.