Hmm… maybe I could convince her to do it. I could get her Yoda. Ask her out. Hold her hand. Board with her. Kiss her goodnight.
“Oh… I could get away with it,” I blurt. But she laughs like I’m joking and shakes her head.
“I’ll just come in during normal hours tomorrow.” She puts her board up on her shoulder. “See you later, Tanner.”
“Yeah,” I mumble. She probably doesn’t even hear me. I watch her head to her car, her shoulders slumped, her gait slower. It’s not the best night for romantic gestures, I take it.
But next time, for sure. Next time, when she’s in a better mood, I’m gonna do it.
One of the best days of my life was the day Candace offered me a job at her parents’ ranch. I love all animals, but horses are up there at the top, and at the top of my horse list, Mona Lisa is number one.
I watch the chestnut mare trot around the round pen with Luke, letting the late afternoon air wash over my face. If I need some cheering up, boarding is my go-to, but watching this sweet horse is a close second.
Luke, the head ranch hand, nudges me in the arm resting on the wooden fence, and I glance in his direction. He makes sure I’ve given my full attention to his hands as he signs slowly, You seem sad today.
The corner of my mouth twitches, and I shake my head. Luke’s good at reading lips, but I always make sure I enunciate as much as possible for the words I don’t know how to sign. After a year and a half of working alongside him, I’ve picked up a bit, but I’m not fluent by any means.
“Not sad. Frustrated, maybe.”
He adjusts his thick-framed glasses, a concern wrinkle peeking just over the top of the frames. Why?
Gosh, loaded question… with a loaded answer. I get how he notices my off mood. I’m cool and calm Maddie. Rarely do I come to the ranch in anything but good spirits. I try to check my emotions at the door so the horses don’t sense it. Apparently some of it is still latched on today.
It’s not that I don’t want Pete to get married, or that I don’t like Candace or think they aren’t right for each other. It’s that I’ve been dealt another hand, and I have to rethink my game plan. It’s happened my whole life; think I’d be used to it by now.
I sign some of what I tell him, knowing a little of the words. “My brother is getting engaged. Which is great. Super happy for him. But now I have to support my sister on my own, and I’m worried I’ll have to give up something in order to do it.”
His eyes widen underneath those glasses, and he signs so fast I’m surprised I catch it. Candace is getting married?
Whoops. Sometimes I forget how close Luke and Candace are. I hurry to cover up my blunder.
“If she says yes. He hasn’t asked her yet. So shh.”
His brow furrows, and I’m not sure if he’s confused about what I said or he didn’t catch it all. He reaches for his phone tucked into the back pocket of his hay and mud caked jeans, his red and blue flannel overshirt opening as he does so. I wait as he taps a much longer response on his phone, his fingers flying across the keypad. When he’s done, I lean into him to read his message.
Are you looking for another job and keeping this one? Or are you thinking of a different job altogether? Are you moving?
I lift a shoulder, unable to answer any of those. I’ve thought about a second job, maybe going back to the movie theater—the job I had before this one—and working nights, but I forget that someone needs to watch Demi after school. Right now Pete and I switch off, so some days I get off at two and others I stay until seven. I’m hourly pay, so those five hours take a chunk out of my check, but with Pete helping out, it never was a huge deal. Plus, it gave me boarding time.
My heart pinches, and I realize what I already know—boarding will probably have to go. The sponsorship isn’t guaranteed, and without one, I can’t afford to spend my nights running drills.
Luke taps me again, this time signing. Did I lose you to your thoughts?
I chuckle. “A little, yeah.”
Can I hear some of them? He laughs at his own joke, so I humor him as well. Luke was born deaf, and he’s learned to communicate in what works best for him and the person he’s talking to. I hope that some day I won’t need the phone at all when we have our chats.
“I think I have to stop boarding.” The words bring a tone of grief I’m glad he can’t hear. “There just isn’t enough time to dedicate to something that doesn’t make me money.”
He nods, and his eyes jut across the field toward the stallions grazing. Those guys are really his boys, though the owner tag says Sherman Farms. Luke’s raised them up as breeders, been at the farm since he graduated high school seven years ago. They know and love him more than anyone.
A soft tap pushes against the back of my hand, and I give Luke my attention again.
There is always time for the things you love.
The knowing sparkle in his eyes makes me wrinkle my nose. I playfully shove him and shake my head.
“I know, I know.” Believe me, I know. I love boarding; it’s my dream to do it for a living. It’s what I live and breathe for. Growing up the way I did, with the parents I have, there was only the one thing I had for me. It wasn’t expensive, either. A skateboard and a hand-me-down helmet and lack of supervision was all I needed. Nothing beats the wind in my hair as I drop into a half-pipe, the exhilaration of climbing the rise only to flip around and do it all over. The sound of a board against metal or wheels on concrete is so therapeutic. To lose it feels like losing a limb.
But honestly, I’d lose that limb for Demi. I would do it over and over and over again.
I call Mona Lisa in and trot her back to her stall. I give her a big ol’ carrot for being my favorite, then make sure her hay feeder is nice and juicy before locking her in for the day. June and Pearl are already settled in, so I wash my hands and head out. It’s one of my days to pick up Demi, and I think I’ll try to skip Troublemakers tonight. See if I can do it… if I’m capable of giving it up. The Ultimate Boarding Competition is in a few months. I know this. I’ve been training for it. I need to go in, but what’s the point now if it’s not guaranteed? I thought I had it last year, and here I am, still boarding for no money.
I wave a goodbye to Luke who will be here all night most likely. He waves back and then hoists a hay bale up and marches it into the barn like it weighs two pounds instead of forty. Oh to have a life like his and take his advice. He’s loved one thing as far as I can tell, and that’s ranching. But me, who loves so many things… Well, I can’t just make time for them all. Especially if one is only benefitting me.
I’m gonna do it.
Today is the day I’m gonna tell Brink I’m in love with her. I’m gonna ask her out, hold her hand, board till we get too tired, then kiss her goodnight.
Today.
Aislynn is working the Wheel Zone with me today, and she’s currently dancing around with a bottle of disinfectant, singing to the Backstreet Boys on the intercom, and catching the eyes of a few must-be-sixteen-year-olds hanging out on the rink.
I take a sip of my trusty Dr. Pepper and do the same thing I’ve been doing all night—wait for Brink to walk through those doors; her dented helmet and broken-in board in tow. My knee’s doing that bouncing thing as I cross my arms and crack my knuckles one by one with my thumbs.