“And how’s my baby girl doing?” Gladys cooed to Remy.
“Pay!” Remy yelled, and Gladys smiled.
“Sorry, ladies. My little one needs to play. I’ll catch ya on the flipside.” Gladys set Remy down and grabbed her hand, coming toward me. “Looks like we’re off to play.”
“Lead the way.”
Standing behind Remy and Gladys, I wanted to snap a picture it was so perfect. Little Remy holding on to Gladys’ hand all the while looking up at her and smiling. The guilt that burdened me from time to time started rising.
It was the one thing that I hated for my little girl, having biological family. When Katie and I left, we knew there was no going back, and we didn’t want to. It was the family part that we missed. Having everyone around and playing with the younger kids. There was always someone around whenever you needed them, and someone was always bored enough to do what you had planned.
Now, we were on our own and doing great, but I wished my girl had more of a blood family. Don’t get me wrong, Ryker has pulled us into his world with open arms, and we loved it. It was a family of our own choosing. I just hoped that later on Remy didn’t hate me because of the choices I’d made. I did them all for her, and I’d make sure she knew that. When the time was right.
This right here though was precious, and I burned it into my memories, pulling out my phone and taking a discreet shot of the two.
“There ya go.” Gladys grinned, leading Remy into the playground. This home was fantastic. The play area rivaled the most top notch daycare by a mile.
What I loved was the sitting area off to the side which was where Gladys led us. Remy would come up five million times showing us her finds from the area, and we each loved it. She was busy, and we were able to spend time together.
“So, how’s my bigger girl doin’?” It felt good having her call me her girl. While I loved my mother, she wasn’t the loving type and rarely showed any affection. Even something as simple as a pet name. Nothing. She was more of an order-her-children kind of mom. I couldn’t remember a time when she hugged me just because. It had always been in front of someone she was trying to impress.
This small bit from Gladys meant the world, and she didn’t even know.
“Good. Work’s busy. Remy keeps growing like a weed. Katie’s good. Overall…” I shrugged. “Good.”
“You do realize there are more words in the English language than good.”
I smiled. “Yeah, but good is the way I describe it. Tell me how you’re doing.”
“Oh hell, there’s always something goin’ on here. Freddy’s been seeing Margo and Sharon, which caused a huge problem in the dance room for partners. It was a hoot to watch. Then we have June who’s spreading herself around the place.” She lowered her voice. “Which is nothin’ new. Love her to bits and as old as we are, I say go for it; just don’t get the rubber stuck again.”
A chuckle left me. “June’s gettin’ more than I ever have.”
Gladys laughed out loud. “She’s gettin’ more than I’ve ever had too, and I’ve been alive a lot longer than you, child.”
She always did this, telling me about everyone around here but the one person I cared most about, her. “What’s going on with you, Gladys?”
“Just livin’ and lovin’ it. I won a massage the other day and can’t wait to get it from Nate.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Hell, with how Gladys was I wouldn’t be surprised if Nate gave her other favors. Not that I’d ask. Some things I don’t need to know.
Gladys could get her some, then go for it. Life was too short, and she needed to live it.
“Momma!!!” Remy yelled as she sat at the top of the slide waiting for my eyes to come to her.
“Go ahead!”
Remy smiled and went down the slide so fast her shirt started waving in the breeze. Remy didn’t wait for me, she just took off to the sandbox. She’d have it in her hair, shoes, and every crevis including her butt crack before we left. As long as she had fun, I didn’t care. Everything washed off.
“So, Ensley, tell me more than ‘good’.”
I knew she wouldn’t let that go. She might have only known me for a year, but she knew me more than my real mother ever had. Gladys was that mother figure I’d always craved yet never had. In fact, Gladys was the complete opposite of the woman who'd given me life.
My biological mother lived a life that I never wanted to be a part of. Not to mention to have Remy live it. There was no way in hell I’d allow that. Considering how much my family looked down on me when I was pregnant, they never would’ve given Remy the time of day. More than likely, they would’ve shipped Remy off with another family member to pass off as their baby or what they wanted to do—terminate the pregnancy all together.
“Good, huh?” I chuckled as Gladys lifted her gray eyebrow at me so I talked. “Katie’s been working.”
“At the store?”
My head shook. “Yeah. She talks a lot about a guy named Sam, but I don’t think anything is going on there. It seems to be more of a friendship than anything else.”
“Shame. You girls need to find what makes you happy.”
Happiness. There was only one thing that made me happy. “I have Remy, and she’s all I need.”
“Nonsense. Every woman needs to get laid.”
I burst out laughing. “I haven’t had that in years.”
“Well at least two and half years.” She nodded toward Remy, and she wasn’t wrong. “What about Remy’s dad?”
Talking about Remy’s dad wasn’t something I did. Ever. Once, only once did I talk to Katie about him. About that night. About the night that blew me out of the water, leaving me aching on the inside that I’d never have it again.
That was it. Nothing else was ever said. That night was like none I’d ever had. The last one I had with Ari, my old best friend.
I’m going to kill Ari.
This was the second time she’d done this exact same thing. She found a man, drinking across the bar, and he’s the only thing on her radar. I didn’t exist. Just when I was starting to loosen up a bit, she had to leave me. This entire situation was new to me, and Ari promised she’d stay by my side the entire time. We were just supposed to come here and dance. Now, she’s dancing with a man. Cute man, but still.
Sidling up to the bar, the bartender came up with a wide flirtatious smile on his face. One in which I returned, leaning into the bar top and getting close. Books were my go-to in learning about men. I’d get them from the small little ‘take one’ box down the way and sneak it into the house. When everyone was asleep, I’d pull it out and read. One can learn a lot from books. “Rum and diet.” Ari got it for me last time, and it was pretty good. Of course, I would sip it until all the ice melted.
The handsome man with long hair winked. “Sure thing, beautiful.” He took off as a deep breath tried to come in, but it felt shallow, like the sigh was more in my head than actuality.
Even with all the noise around me, thoughts began to invade as my drink showed up, and I drank it way too quickly, needing the escape from the words tormenting me. “Another.”