He was protective of her. Her. Kimberly Wilson.
He was the most handsome, striking, thoughtful, powerful, and complicated man she’d ever met, and he was protective of little old nothing her, who had no more than a name to offer a man. Huh.
“You can never Turn me,” she pointed out.
He sighed and agreed. “No, I cannot.”
“And the rules for lion shifters are that you have to Turn a human immediately if you choose them. But only one in a lifetime. You used your Turn up.”
“Yep.”
“So, I can’t get attached to you.”
“Then don’t get attached. I’m your bodyguard. It would be unprofessional to get attached.” His smile was baiting.
“Hmmm. Just, easy as that, huh? Just don’t get feelings?”
“Easy as that.”
The problem was, the more she got to know him, the more she wanted to know, and the more her little heart opened up.
What was she doing, inviting into her home a man who was so off limits? Because, yeah, this little house was her home now. She was already used to it and liked her space and was falling for her little life here. But she was drawing in a man whose only option was to break her heart.
He’d been right. He was very dangerous indeed.
“I’m sorry in advance for any insults my family hurls at you tomorrow. It’s not you. They just don’t get impressed very easily.”
“Well, lucky for you, they already met me and conditioned me to ignore their insults. At your sister Beth’s birthday party last month, your mom asked me, ‘What’s your name again?’ three times, but still called me, ‘Hey, you,’ about seven times after that. And she kept ordering her drinks from me like I worked with the staff.”
Kimberly snorted and belted out a laugh. “God. She knows exactly who you are. That’s just one of her games to show you she rules the roost in that house. She always acts like dominant people are beneath her.”
“You used to do that,” he said softly.
Kimberly frowned. “No, I didn’t.”
“Don’t bristle up. Hear me out. At this end of this is a compliment.”
Kimberly crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “I like compliments,” she murmured. Just didn’t want to go through an insult to get there.
“You did the same games as your mother with me. Acted like you forget my name at each party. Looked away fast if I paid any attention when you talked, like I was invisible. And don’t think I’m saying you singled me out. You didn’t. You were consistent with treating people outside of your family like that. But now?”
“Now what?”
“Lately you treat people like they matter. Me included. That’s growth, Kim. I respect growth.”
And something about that sang deep to her insecurities. It hummed through her soul and landed in her heart. He respected her because she was nice? She liked being respected and lifted up for something as simple as being kinder.
She admitted something out loud that she had never uttered. “I didn’t really like myself. I still don’t maybe.”
“I like when you said that. You held my gaze so I could see the honesty in your eyes. What you said is a terrible truth, but one that can be changed.”
“Can it?”
“Absolutely.”
“I always told Leslie she was weak.”
His eyes swirled with disappointment, but something more sat there in the gold color as well. Something she didn’t understand.
Be brave.
She continued. “I told her she was weak for not fitting in with our family. For not being proud of the name our family built. But over the last year, as I watched her grow into her own, as I watched her smile and laugh outside of our family, as I watched her find joy in the things that mean something to her and nothing to anyone else, I grew resentful. My life was falling apart, and I’d done everything right. I’d let my mother and father mold me into exactly what they wanted in a daughter. I made the grades they wanted, went to the college they wanted, met a man I knew they would approve of. My mother planned my wedding, and the focus had stayed on Brayden’s rising career. That meant he had to provide a comfortable life for me instead of how we felt about each other. In the family photographs, he would put his hand on my waist so formally, and we felt like strangers more often than not, but my family would oooh and aaaah at the picture, so I felt like I was doing something right. I got that positive reinforcement. He wasn’t happy. I could see it plain as day written onto his face. We fought too much and didn’t match, but on the outside, we put on this…show. It was a great show. People would tell me how perfect we looked, but looks became less important over time. The pictures were games, and what good are games if the players are broken? He said I was overbearing and controlling and didn’t let him breathe. I was hurt and angry, but do you know why?”
“Why?” he asked softly.
“Because he was right about me. That isn’t me having a pity party, Burke. I mean, I knew he was right. I was unhappy and he was unhappy, but I just kept going the only way I knew how because sometimes I would get to take a perfect picture of my perfect marriage and would get the approval of the family. For those few moments, everything was okay. I breathed for the times when everything felt like it was okay. Leslie was never the weak one.” Kimberly swallowed hard and closed her eyes as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I am.”
Something soft touched her cheek, and when she opened her eyes again, Burke was leaning forward, his eyes searching hers, the pad of his thumb wicking away the dampness on her cheek. “Weak people don’t make admissions like that. Everything is okay.”
She laughed thickly. God, it felt good to hear those words. Everything is okay. She was living in a tiny house, working at a pottery shop for practically nothing, didn’t have a penny to her name, and was sharing a cheap meal with a man she could never have. Nothing was okay, but his words still held weight. Nothing was okay and everything was okay.
“Your parents are a lot,” he said, still leaning forward on the table, just inches from her. “But they love you. You’re unlucky in some ways but lucky in others.”
“I shouldn’t complain about my parents when yours are gone. I’m sorry.”
“Never apologize for sharing with me.” He shook his head. “Never. My parents died six years ago. You missed the fireworks there. I spiraled for six months after that. Shut down on Kieran, and put my liver to the test with whiskey. I had a bad time coping, and I’m kind of glad you missed that part of my life. I wish they were still here and they could meet you and Leslie, but I have to be grateful for the time I did get with them. Fortunately, I still have Kieran. And, yeah, he’s a douchebag most days, but he’s my family. He’s a damn good brother. But if you tell him I said that, I’ll deny it ’till my dying day.”
She giggled. “And you have Leslie now.”
His eyes softened. “Yes, I do. She’s a good sister.”
“Yeah, she is. I’m just now figuring that part out. I’m just now figuring a lot out.”
“I have an admission, too.”
“Yeah? Is it you came here for a fun night but I cried on our first non-date?”