"You really sold me on that one."
"Good thing, then, you report to me. Something about serving at the pleasure of the president if I remember correctly."
Del was still laughing as he left the room, and Calix shook his head, chuckling. He'd gotten so lucky to work for his best friend. It didn't alleviate the stress of the job but did make it easier to bear.
He winced as a stab of pain shot through his neck. Closing his eyes, he went through the familiar routine of stretches, hoping it would result in that satisfying pop that would release the tension. But no matter how far he stretched, he couldn't make it work. He sighed. Time to schedule another appointment with the chiropractor.
"Is your neck bothering you?"
Calix's eyes flew open. He'd forgotten all about Rhett, who had quietly disassembled his gear. "It's an old injury that’s been playing up a lot lately."
Rhett bit his lip. Calix had no trouble reading his mind, and his face softened. "Yes, it's from the bombing. Several fragments embedded in my neck, causing permanent muscle and nerve damage that acts up regularly."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."
Always so apologetic, as if even the mention of that day could shatter Calix. It no longer held that power, but Rhett's care touched him. "You didn't. I can talk about it, so you don't have to worry about bringing it up, especially not in a private conversation like this. I'll admit it's not something I like to discuss in public, but with you, it's different."
Rhett cocked his head. "Because I was there."
Calix nodded. "Because you understand. I don't need to explain anything to you. That makes all the difference. Plus, unlike a lot of people, you don't have some morbid curiosity to hear all the gory details."
Rhett shuddered. "I know what you mean. Over the years, I've faced many inappropriate questions from people who were just looking for the juice. I'll never understand how some people feed off the pain and suffering of others."
"Been there. In the beginning, I tried to be polite and hint that I wasn't willing to answer those kinds of questions, that they were too intrusive for me. Now, I flat out tell them they're being rude and inappropriate. I've found it to be highly effective at making them stop."
"I wish I had the courage to do that. Unfortunately, I'm too much of a people pleaser to pull it off. Luckily, Levar is usually there to help me out. He has no trouble saying no to people."
"No, he's quite good at that. Then again, it's an essential skill in his job. All he does is a song and dance with the press where they want answers he's not willing to give them. He's saying no all day long, just in a hundred different ways."
Rhett nodded as he packed up the last of his gear. "I'm grateful to have him in my corner. He's the best friend someone could have."
Calix's heart warmed at the affection in Rhett's voice. He'd wondered about Rhett and Levar, asking himself if they had ever been more than friends. Of course, those speculations had been put to rest when Henley had entered the picture. "I hope his relationship with Henley hasn't changed your friendship too much."
He wasn't sure why he was venturing into such personal territory, which was not his usual MO. Maybe because Rhett was so obviously vulnerable, and it triggered protective instincts in Calix. Had to be that age difference again. Not that he felt fatherly toward him. He was more than aware of how cute the guy was. If he'd been ten years younger and not still in mourning over losing the love of his life, he might've… But no, that idea was ridiculous.
Rhett seemed to think about his answer, then slowly said, "Of course it has changed things. Henley spends most of his time at our place, so clearly, that has impacted the dynamic. But I'm thrilled for Levar he's found someone as perfect for him as Henley. It helps that Henley is a good guy, who is respectful of the deep friendship Levar and I have."
"I'm glad to hear it, but don't you miss it on some level? Your old relationship with Levar, I mean?"
Rhett frowned. "We were never more than friends."
"That wasn't what I was suggesting, though I'll admit that thought had crossed my mind before. No, I'm talking about a genuine sense of loss, of losing something precious. I'm not judging. Of course you’re happy Levar found a partner, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to be sad about it at the same time. You've had him to yourself for all those years."
Rhett blinked a few times, his eyes clouding over. "Yes. But I'll never admit it to him. The last thing I want is to hurt him. He's been my rock, my lifeline for far too long already. It's time I learned to function on my own."
Calix hadn't even noticed he'd stepped much closer to him. Wait, there was that smell of vanilla again. Was it Rhett's body wash or a deodorant? Somewhat of an unusual scent for a man, though not unpleasant. "There's a gap between what we recognize as desirable and maybe even necessary and what we really feel. It's good to be aware it's time for you to become more independent, but that doesn't mean you can't mourn losing your best friend in that sense, sweetheart."
They both froze when that last word fell so easily from his lips. What the hell had he been thinking?
"I apologize," Calix said stiffly, stepping back. "That was inappropriate."
"Not inappropriate, not to me. Surprising, maybe, but it's okay."
Calix breathed out the tension he had been holding. What a stupid thing to say. "Thank you. I guess it's a case of private Calix showing up where professional Calix was warranted."
"There's a difference?"
"Yes, very much so. Private Calix would call the president by his first name because he's been his best friend for many, many years. But professional Calix shouldn't. In the same way, private Calix has a certain style, including a vocabulary, that isn't suitable to be used in his job."
Rhett nodded slowly. "I understand what you mean.”
"I can't do that when I'm on the job. Except I just did, and that's why I was apologizing."
"I told you I don't mind."
"I'm glad to hear that, but I don't intend to make a habit of it. I don't want to blur those lines any more than they already are."
"I can imagine making the mental switch from the president being your best friend to him being the president of the United States is not easy."
"You have no idea. Del and I…" Calix slapped his forehead, groaning. "See? That's what I mean. In my mind, he's still Del."
"I bet he doesn't mind you slipping up. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who values formality much."
How interesting he had never talked to anyone about it, but this conversation with Rhett felt like the most natural thing in the world. This quiet little mouse was a good listener and a sharp observer. The latter didn't surprise Calix. From behind the lens, Rhett would've become quite proficient in reading other people.
"He doesn't mind, but I do. I'm scared of fucking it up in front of others, you know?"
And now he was dropping F-bombs as well. Great.
Rhett's mouth curled up in a smile. "You mean you don't want to call him by his first name in front of the Joint Chiefs?"