Kenna leaned back in a deck chair. “Good, because I’m starving.”
Crosby bent and pressed his lips to her slightly rounded belly. “Brown Eyes, you’re always hungry these days.”
Her gaze narrowed on him. “Are you saying I’m eating too much?”
Crosby straightened, holding up both hands in surrender. “No way. I think you’re perfect.”
Ford chuckled. “Retreat now, man. You’re fucked.”
“Language,” Bell chastised.
Ford winced. “Sorry, Caelyn.”
I waved him off. “They’re playing. They can’t hear a thing we’re saying.” Mia was forcing Will to play spotter as she worked on some of her tumbling. And Ava had gotten sucked into playing judge for each move.
I looked around at my friends, my family, and a rush of warring sensations flooded me. Warmth at this amazing community I had found myself a part of. One that was always willing to lend a hand and support. And yet those little flickers of jealousy ate at the warmth. I hated it. Wanted to shove the feelings away, but they wouldn’t be budged.
The tender caresses Crosby gave Kenna’s stomach. The kisses Ford pressed to Bell’s temple. I wanted that for myself. But as soon as those thoughts entered my mind, I’d give myself a mental smack. These were my two best friends in the world. The only people who had been there for me, no matter what. And I was happy for them—over-the-moon. I didn’t want to poison any of that with my jealousy.
“Hellooooo? Caelyn?”
I snapped back to the present at Kenna’s voice. “Sorry. What?”
She straightened in her chair. “What is going on with you lately?”
I forced a smile. “You know me, I’m just thinking of the million and one things on my to-do list.”
Bell reached over and rubbed a hand up and down my back. “Well, quit it. Now’s the time to relax. It’s Friday, and it’s family dinner time. Turn off the worry.”
I loved Bell as if she were another limb, but she didn’t understand the kind of worry I felt. The endless list of things constantly swirling around in my mind. An increase in rent, Mia’s gymnastics, whether I should take Ava to another therapist, how I was going to pay for Will’s college in a year and a half… I forced myself to keep my tone light even though what I really wanted to do was scream. “I’ll do my best, taskmaster.”
Ford grinned at his fiancée. “I’d do what she asked. The woman can be vicious.”
“Don’t I know it,” I agreed.
Bell scowled at both of us. “You guys are mean. I’m not that bad.”
Kenna let out a snorted laugh. “You might as well be a drill sergeant.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s you,” Crosby argued. “You nearly made one of Hunter’s men cry yesterday.”
“I did not,” Kenna protested.
“What are you doing to my brother’s construction crew?” Ford asked, amusement filling his tone.
Crosby couldn’t hold in his laughter. “When they were taking all of the furniture out of the downstairs—”
“The priceless antique furniture,” Kenna interrupted.
“Kenna didn’t feel they were being careful enough. She barked orders at them so loudly, one of the younger guys got tears in his eyes. I swear.”
Kenna groaned. “He did not. Don’t listen to Crosby, he lies.”
“How is it being back in the guest house?” After a vicious court battle, Kenna finally had all of the legal rights to the estate Harriet had left her. But the fight had ended in a brutal attack that had almost cost Kenna her unborn child.
Kenna’s fingers searched out Crosby’s. “It’s good. Harriet had been putting off a lot of upkeep in the main house. It makes sense to just do it all at once before the baby comes. And it’s been good reclaiming the space that was my home for so many years. I’m not going to let one asshole ruin it for me.”
Bell raised a glass to Kenna. “Good for you.”
“Proud of you, Ken,” I echoed.
Crosby squeezed Kenna’s hand and then walked back over to the grill to check the steaks. “We’re just about done.”
I swung my legs out from under the picnic table and stood. “I’ll get the salad. Kiddos, time to wash up.”
Mia stood from a back handspring. “Steak!”
Will shook his head and pulled Ava to her feet. “We’re coming.”
I headed for the kitchen. Pulling the salad out of the fridge, I shook the homemade dressing I’d made earlier. Carefully pouring it over the greens, I tossed it together.
“Will said that Griffin was hanging around when the kids got to the store today.”
Kenna’s voice made me jump. “Make some noise when you enter a room, would you?”
“But then I’d lose my ninja status.” She sidled up next to me at the counter, staring me down.
I sighed. “He was getting a sandwich. Is there something wrong with that?”
Kenna’s lips pursed. “Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just as long as you’re careful.”
I turned to face her fully. “Careful about what exactly? Practically everyone on this island treats Griffin unfairly. They either stare and whisper, morbidly curious about him and his family, or they try and get something out of him. He’s kind and honorable. And Will might not have told you, but he was also wonderful with Mia today.”
“Caelyn, I don’t think badly about Griffin. He obviously has a strong moral compass. But I also know that he’s wounded in a way that means he’s not going to let anyone into his life in a real way. His entire family drowned in front of his eyes, the press hounded him for years, and people have sold him out left and right. That marks a man. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up…”
Kenna let her words trail off, and I winced. Of course, Kenna had seen past all my pithy comments about Griffin the Greek god. She saw beneath the surface. Saw that my crush ran deeper than finding the man handsome and intriguing. There was something about his wounds that called to my own. A pull of attraction and understanding. But I knew that meant we could only ever have a friendship.
I’d always been one to fall for the wounded birds. Thinking I could fix things for them and then we’d be one big, happy family. It never ended well. All through high school and college, I’d had one disastrous relationship after another. But I’d learned my lesson. And once I’d gotten custody of my siblings…I could count on one hand the number of dates I’d been on.
I turned back to the salad, giving it one more toss for good measure. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not going down that road. All I’d like from Griffin is to be his friend. It looks like he could use one.”
But that wouldn’t stop me from trying to earn his lip twitches and chuckles. Because they felt like the brightest light shining down on me, and I wanted to stand in that sun.
4
Caelyn
“No, no, no.” I banged my head against the steering wheel with each word. This wasn’t happening. Maybe if I closed my eyes and wished hard enough, I’d end up on a sunny beach somewhere. A place where handsome pool boys would bring me endless drinks and snacks.