“You are taking the day off. I’ll get everything done that needs doing.”
“You won’t.”
“I will.”
“So when you asked me what music I was listening to, the wrong words came out of your mouth, after you hit your head, and what you really meant to say was ‘I’ve lost my fucking mind and I need you to ignore everything else I say after this.’”
I stand, ignoring her snark this time. “I actually did want to know what music you had playing. Some days it’s the only thing that seems to make you smile, and that kind of information could be really fuckin’ useful to me at times. Take the day off. If I see you here, I’ll carry your ass out.”
5
Scarlett
“Scarlett. Wake the fuck up.”
My brother’s voice crawls through the fog in my head, demanding to be heard when all I want to do is pretend I can’t hear it.
His foot, though, it snaps my attention to him completely when it connects with the wall next to my bed with a loud thud.
Jerking off the bed, I lunge at him, pushing him hard enough to make him fall backwards, his ass landing on the floor of my bedroom. Fixing a death stare on him, I snarl, “Don’t do that again. I can’t afford the cost of repairing a hole in my wall. And don’t come here and wake me up like that.” I cross my arms, still glaring down at him. “Why are you here? And if you tell me it’s because you want money for drugs, you can fuck off with that.”
Bailey glares back at me, keeping his ass on the floor. Most likely because he knows I won’t hesitate to plant it there again if the mood strikes me. “You don’t have to be such a bitch. I need money for rent, not drugs.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot, Bailey? I’m not buying that bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit. My landlord is on my case. He threatened to kick me out tonight if I don’t give him the rent today.”
My brain might actually explode. Like, for real, what did I do in a past life to deserve the family I was given in this one?
I drop my arms and stalk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I take my time in there, needing all those minutes to control my urge to strangle my brother. When I’m finished, I swing the door open and stride to where Bailey’s still sitting on the floor.
I crouch down next to him. “How much do you need?”
“Two hundred.”
Fucking hell.
Bailey knows I won’t ever allow harm to come to him if I can help it, and he doesn’t hesitate to take advantage of that. In our family, my loyalty doesn’t benefit me; all it does is sting me. I learned a long time ago to restrict who I offer it to. Bailey is the only recipient of it these days and he’s coming dangerously close to losing it.
“Okay.” I stand. “I’ll get dressed and come with you.”
“Come with me where?”
“To pay your rent.”
A text comes through on my phone and I swipe it up off the bedside table to check it.
Phoebe: I’ll be in Brisbane in a couple of weeks. I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s time we started putting us back together.
The universe is playing a shitty game with me today. It should know I’m not about games. Ever.
Unable to ignore this message, I tap out a reply and violently hit send.
Me: It’s impossible to put something back together that is shattered into a million pieces. Do not come here. I won’t see you.
Throwing the phone on the bed, I search for clothes to wear like a woman possessed. So much for a relaxing day off.
“Who the fuck texted you?” Bailey finally gets his ass up off the floor.
I rip jeans and a shirt from my closet. “No one.”
“Jesus, you’re in a foul mood. Do you think you could calm down a little?”
“Do you think you could leave my bedroom so I can get dressed?”
His mouth presses together. The McKenzie temper is everywhere now, prowling through my small room like an animal circling its prey. This is what we do best. Hunt and kill. “It’s no wonder you’re single, Scarlett. No man would want this shit in their life.”
“What shit are you referring to?”
“This bullshit you carry on with. You’re always so fucking angry. Over the smallest things. And you remember every-fucking-thing anyone ever says or does to you. Why can’t you ever let anything go?”
“Oh see, when you said no man would want this shit in his life, I thought you might be referring to the fact I’m always there for you, or the fact I always save your ass when you need cash or food or somewhere to crash, or maybe that I’m so fucking dependable. Any man would want that shit in his life. You’re the asshole I choose to give it to, but right now, I’m rethinking that because you clearly don’t appreciate any of it.”
His eyes glitter with fury. Bailey has a dark edge, and when he gets angry like this, I wonder if he’ll snap and attack me. I’ve seen him hurt men bigger than him. I might be able to defend myself most of the time, but I don’t doubt that dark energy of his could inflict serious damage.
He snatches my phone off the bed and figures out my pin. I should be more careful with my damn pins and make sure I use something he can’t guess. I don’t bother to fight him for the phone. I suspect he’d win that fight today. He scrolls for a minute before looking at me again. “You are such a bitch. She just wants to see you and talk. Do you even have a heart in that body of yours?”
I don’t know what causes it, because I am not about feeling sorry for myself, ever, but his words cut deep and fucking hurt. Like, the kind of hurt that physically squeezes in my chest.
“The thing about the people in our family is they never just want to see me and talk to me. They always want something from me. I’m never giving her anything again, so seeing her is a waste of our time.” I lean closer to him and hurl the last thing I have to say at him with all the loathing and resentment consuming me. “I’ve changed my mind; I’m not paying your rent this time. Go find someone with a heart to help you out.”
When he doesn’t say anything or do anything except continue watching me like he wants to stab a sharp blade through my chest, I finally lose my last shred of sanity and scream, “Get the fuck out of my flat!”
His lip pulls up in a sneer. “You deserve every bad thing that ever happens to you, Scarlett.”
My front door slams a few moments later, and I sit on the edge of my bed, dragging deep breaths in while trying not to think about the fact I just said no to my brother because I really don’t think he needed that cash for rent, but what if he did? What if he does get kicked out and ends up on the streets because I didn’t help him? What if he spirals and overdoses?
Jesus, Scarlett, get your shit together.
Bailey’s twenty-six. A grown man. He can fend for himself. And he should be fending for himself. It’s not my job to mother him.
Annoyed with myself and my reaction over this, I push off the bed and march out to the kitchen. I fill the small watering can that’s sitting on the kitchen counter next to the sink and spend time watering the plants that fill my flat and the small balcony off the kitchen. I then make tea, put my AirPods in, and sit on the balcony sipping my drink and filling pages of my journal with words.