I pad to the bathroom, dispose of the condom, clean myself off, and then return with a warm washcloth. “Just going to wash you off,” I whisper as I roll her limp body onto her back and part her legs. She’s a rag doll, letting me do whatever I want.
I’m careful to not hurt her as I gently wipe away our lovemaking, and then I pull the covers down the bed and climb in. She easily lets me draw her into my embrace, her back spooned against my chest.
She’s breathing heavily, and I stroke her arm as she calms. I assume she’s asleep a few minutes later, but she surprises me by setting her hand over mine in between her breasts. “Thank you, Sir,” she whispers.
I kiss her temple. “My pleasure.” I’m still grinning as we fall asleep.
Chapter 8
Cindy
The first thing I feel when I open my eyes is awkward. I’m surrounded by Hudson. His arms are around me. His warm body is against mine. I don’t know how I managed to sleep so soundly. It’s been so long since I slept with anyone.
I was exhausted though. It was very late after he managed to pull not one, not two, but three orgasms out of me.
For a few minutes, I don’t move an inch. I listen to his breathing and pull his scent into my lungs. Even though he’s younger than me, he’s all Dom. He’s tall and broad and firm.
How the hell did I manage to score a night with this man? And score I did. My God, did he ever fulfill about ten of my wildest dreams. When we first arrived, I was uncertain and nervous, but he put me at ease, and somehow I managed to ask for exactly what I wanted.
I close my eyes and suppress a groan as I recall the blowjob I gave him. Epic. The way he held my hair and pulled it. Jesus. And me on my knees. Seriously checking that off my bucket list.
Holding me down while he ate my pussy… Flipping me over and taking me from behind… I’m never going to be the same woman I was before last night. Now that I’ve had a taste of what it’s like to really be with an amazing Dom, I’m ruined.
There’s just one problem. I have secrets. I haven’t shared the real me with him. The more time we spend together, the harder it is to confess my darkest secrets. The longer I continue to see him, the more unfair it is that I haven’t told him.
But I can’t. I’m not ready. This all happened so fast. It was unexpected. I mean, I assumed he liked me for more than just a friend when he started spending two days a week with me helping me study. Or, honestly, long before that. He’s been stopping to talk to me for months.
What have I done?
I don’t have the first clue about what we are to each other. Was this just a simple fuck? No. I don’t believe that. Though it would be easier if it were.
Am I supposed to submit to him this morning? I need answers. My OCD side is reeling with confusion and the unknown. It’s not tidy. Messy makes me nervous. I blew him off when he said I have OCD, but he was right. I do. Well, half of me does.
“You’re thinking so hard that it’s hard to stay asleep,” he mutters against my shoulder.
I flinch. “How did you know I was awake?”
He chuckles. “You’ve been sighing and stiffening for ten minutes.” His hand slides over to cup my breast. He strokes it gently. “I know you well enough to assume you’ve woken up freaking out a bit, but there’s no need. Okay?”
“Okay,” I lie.
He chuckles again. “You’re a horrible liar.” He thumbs my nipple, making me arch and forget about my nerves. “That’s it. Let go of whatever’s making you panic. Let me help you relax.”
I purse my lips. He’s certainly an expert at making me relax, but it’s usually preceded by a lot of sexual tension. Frustrated, I squirm out of his grip and flip around so that I’m facing him. There’s enough light coming into the room from between the blinds that I can see his face. “We had sex.”
He slowly smiles as he brushes my mess of hair from my face. “We did.”
“Now what?” I blurt out as I glance around the room, taking it in fully for the first time. The furniture is black and everything is very masculine. Even his sheets and comforter are black. The walls are a soft gray with black-and-white abstract art on each wall.
He cups my face, tipping it so that I look at him again. “Now we have sex again?”
I roll my eyes.
One second, he’s lying next to me all soft and gentle. The next second, he’s up on his elbows, staring down at me. “Now my cock is hard,” he announces. “Now, I want to dominate you. I warned you about eye-rolling. It’s the quickest way to find yourself submitting to me.”
I swallow. He did warn me. And maybe I should be concerned, but when he goes all alpha male on me like this, I get wet instead of shrinking back.
He drops his face to mine and kisses me with so much need, as if we’ve just reunited after being separated a year. He tips my head to the side to deepen the kiss and maneuvers my body so that I’m half under him. He grabs my hands and pulls them over my head, pressing them into the pillow with one of his.
I’m panting and fully aroused when he releases my lips. His free hand roams down my body as he holds my gaze. He stops at my breast, squeezes it, pinches my nipple, plucks it until I writhe.
His hand continues lower, sliding between my legs and cupping my sex. “Open for me, Cindy. Move your knee.”
The leg closest to him is trapped against him, but I know what he wants. He wants me to move the other leg out. I do as I’m told, breathing heavily as he strokes his fingers through my lower lips.
He’s still watching me closely, holding my gaze intently. “Your heart rate picks up when I dominate you. Your lips part. Eventually, your eyes roll back.”
I gasp. He’s so observant.
“So, let me answer a few questions for you. I’m fucking into you. I have been for months. Now that I know how damn submissive you are, I’m even more into you. And you’re into me, too. You like it when I dominate you. I know you’re new to the scene, but you’re not ignorant about BDSM. You’ve seen it. You’ve watched porn. You’ve done your research.”
I don’t move an inch. I’m barely breathing as he runs down his list, dead-on correct.
“You’ve been waiting for me. Waiting for someone to have the strength to pull you out of your shell and give you what you crave. And it’s fucking hot. So, if you’re wondering if we’re an item now, the answer is yes. We’re so totally an item. If you’re wondering what that means, we’ll figure it out as we go along. We’ll go on dates. Dinner. Movies. Fucking putt-putt golf if you want. You’ll sleep over sometimes. We’ll go to Surrender and play. We’ll play here.”
I finally squirm because dammit, he’s been teasing my clit while he speaks, drawing circles around it. Now, he thrusts his fingers into me, and I cry out.
“Yes. That’s what I like to hear. The total abandonment. It’s so refreshing. I want you to come around my fingers because I’m greedy and I like to watch your face and feel your orgasm against my palm. And then you can decide how you want to take my cock. After that, we’re going to shower, and I’m going to take you out for breakfast, and we’re going to do calculus because it’s Saturday. Any questions?”