Once he’s satisfied with the temperature, he turns around to face me. I wonder what he sees when he stares at me. Does he see all the jagged, broken, and burned pieces of the girl I was last week?
A myriad of emotions play in his gaze, but some of them are gone before I can name them. I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I don’t see pity in his gaze.
“Get in the shower, baby girl,” Wolf says as he holds out his hand to help me off the counter.
“Okay, Wolf,” I murmur with my eyes locked on his. The foreign feeling of someone taking care of me hangs above me like a cloud, attempting to corrupt the gratitude I feel into something far more sinister.
I’ve never done this before—let my vulnerability show. Right now, it’s shining like a beacon from a lighthouse. Besides my cousins, I’ve never had anyone to show me this kind of care before.
I can see why people crave it. And I can see myself becoming addicted to it. Specifically, from three broody men.
“I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nod and turn to watch him leave the bathroom. I listen for his footsteps, but I can’t hear anything over the water hitting the tile floor in the shower.
Chapter Eleven
Alaina
I don’t face the mirror as I pull off my clothes. I vaguely remember Wolf helping me out of my ruined birthday dress and into these clothes—a bright blue tee with an unfamiliar hotel logo on it and too-big gray leggings pants. Despite the clean, new clothes, I feel like every inch of me is dirty. Contaminated. And as I unclasp my bra, I notice the dark brown stains on the cups. I can’t stop the full-body shudder that rolls through me when I realize that blood has been touching me this whole time—his blood. With a desperate cry, I wrench it off my arms and fling it across the room. My chest heaves as I stare at the offending piece of fabric. With trembling hands, I quickly slide my ruined underwear down my legs and kick them toward the bra.
Images of Sean leering at me with blood dripping down the side of his face flash before my eyes, and I gasp. I rush into the shower, not bothering to close the door and stand underneath the showerhead. Water assaults my senses, muffling sounds and shrouding everything in front of me in a watery veil. I hold my breath and close my eyes as I tip my head back, so the water rains down directly on my face, willing myself to forget.
A sob travels up from my gut as images from my time at the cabin fire one after the other, too rapidly for me to relive but slow enough that an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and desperation weigh me down.
When I hear the noise the gun made and see Sean’s eyes stare at me with retribution as his heavy body fell on mine, I can’t contain it anymore.
The sob erupts from my soul, and I lurch forward, sputtering under the hot spray. I brace myself against the shower wall with one hand, gasping for breath and praying for salvation for what I did.
And once I start, I can’t stop. I grieve for the girl I once was and for everything that I had to do to survive. I move until my back is against the wall and slide down until I’m sitting on the cool tile floor. I draw my feet up and wrap my arms around my knees as I stare at the wall.
My soul is splintered, and I don’t know how to staunch the bleeding.
RUSH
I hear Wolf moving around in the kitchen, probably fixing something for Alaina to eat. I take the opportunity to swipe the clothes he set aside for her on the back of the couch and tuck them under my arm as I walk down the hallway toward the bedrooms.
I’ve never been more thankful for my own paranoia than I am right now. I don’t know where we would’ve gone if we didn’t have this place to hide out in. The need to solve the riddle and fix the problem itches underneath my skin. But before I can dive back in, I need to check on my girl.
Stepping inside the bedroom across from Alaina, I drop the stack of Wolf’s clothes on the armchair and go to my dresser. We all keep enough clothes and staple items here to last a month.
I grab her one of my black tees and a pair of black boxer briefs. I know they’ll be big on her, but I can’t deny myself the chance to see her in my clothes. It feeds something primal inside of me. Something I’ve never really had to examine before.
I don’t want to make waves with my brother—either of them—but I can’t deny the need that’s pounding at me to make her mine. To protect her and provide for her.
I need to stick to the fucking plan. There’s a reason I haven’t approached her in all the time I watched her leave her heart on the stage at O’Malley’s. For everything to work, I just have to stick to the plan.
I take a deep breath to center myself. I’m finding it hard to think clearly when I know she’s hurting.
With my clothes in hand, I cross the hall into the bedroom she’s staying in. The shower still runs, and the door is open, so I slip inside, intending to put the clothes on the counter and leave.
But then I hear her sobs. These muffled, hiccuping sobs that tear at the very fabric of my being. I feel the empty spot where my heart should be throb, and I rub at the spot absentmindedly.
The shower door is wide open, so I take a step toward it cautiously. “Alaina?”
Her only answer is another sob, louder this time, and the spot in my chest throbs again, harder and more painful this time.
“It’s me, birdie. I’m coming in,” I tell her as I reach behind my head to grab my tee and pull it off. I already dropped my gear in the living room when we were done with the tour. I hesitate a second before I pull off my boots, socks, and jeans, leaving my black boxer briefs on.
I step into the shower and close the door behind me, trapping what little steam is left. The water has run cold, so I quickly bump up the temperature on the panel before I squat down in front of my beautiful, broken bird.
No, not broken.
Never broken.
Just bent.
She lifts her head when I place my hand on her arm. The look in her eyes roots me to the spot.
“Dec?” Her voice cracks and her eyes spark. I nod once, never taking my eyes off of her. She jerks out of her prone position on the floor and launches herself at me.
I have just enough time to put my hands out to catch her before she’s in my arms. My ass hits the floor and my shoulder hits the bench next to me, but I’d trade all that and more just to feel her again. The water hits her back, but she doesn’t falter as she wraps her arms around my neck and glues her face to my neck. Her legs land on either side of me as she sinks down on my lap.
My dick swells with the attention against my will, but as her body trembles in mine, it gets the memo that now is not the time. I cradle her to me, transfixed by the little sparks lighting everywhere our bodies touch.
I free one arm, keeping the other wrapped tightly around her, and reach behind me where I know the coconut body wash is. I squirt some in the still-dry washcloth on the bench and begin to run it over her skin slowly.
I have half a thought to ditch the washcloth so I can feel her skin on mine. I imagine it’d be soft. But I know that’s not what she needs. Right now, she needs someone to take care of her—not fuck her.
Slowly, I feel her muscles relax the longer she’s in my lap. I take my time, getting another refill on body wash once before I feel like the events of the cabin no longer taint her—at least not physically.