"Stockton, Penny." Her smile is brittle, but she leans in to give us both air kisses. "Penny, dear. I'd like to introduce you to Robert and Muffy Templeton, family friends of ours." She turns to Muffy. "This is the girl I was telling you about."
I can't decide if it's a barb or not. I choose to give my mother the benefit of the doubt. I reach out my hand. "Good to see you again, Robert. Muffy, I'd like to introduce my fiancée, Penny Fischer."
Muffy eyes me coolly. "Yes, Honore tells me congratulations are in order."
I've been on her personal shit list for the last eighteen months. Ever since Robert and I got swept up in an FBI bust at a late-night poker game my friend Danny hosted on a regular basis.
"Pleased to meet you," Penny says softly, holding out her hand.
Muffy takes it. "Well, you must show us your ring." Penny obliges. Muffy's eyes widen. "It's lovely," she murmurs. "So unique."
She's lying through her teeth. But this group is too cultured to say what they really think. "It's perfectly Penny," I say, dropping a kiss on the top of her head, all the while watching for my mother's reaction like a hawk.
She pales and her jaw tightens, but her smile stays in place. "Of course it is." She turns to Penny. "You'll have to join us for lunch sometime soon, dear. We really must get to know each other better."
Oh hell to the no. That would be like feeding Penny to the sharks. "We're very busy these days. It may be a while." Like, never.
My mother turns the full force of her gaze to me. "I'm sure you can spare your precious Penny for just an hour. After all, you can't expect her to plan this wedding all by herself. She's going to need lots of help."
I see where this is going but before I can protest, Penny jumps in. "I'd love to," she says mouth widening into a smile. "I can make time next week." I flex my fingers into her hip, sending her a silent signal to knock it off, but she keeps going. "You know, there's a lovely French bistro right around the corner from our offices I haven't had a chance to try yet. Christelle's. Are you familiar with it?"
My mother's grin looks like a piranha going in for the kill. "Of course I know it. I'll make reservations first thing tomorrow."
Fuck my life right now.
The Nelson's event planner, a dark-haired beauty named Marissa who my mother also tried to set me up with at some point, taps her on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Mrs. Forde, you asked for a fifteen-minute warning?"
"Oh yes, darling, thank you." My mother turns back to us. "Finish circulating and we'll meet back at the head table in fifteen minutes."
That's my mother's dismissal. I steer Penny away and straight toward another server with a tray full of champagne. "I think you should avoid lunch with my mother at all costs," I say, handing her a second flute.
Penny smirks. "Why? Are you afraid I can't handle myself?"
"No, not exactly."
"Afraid I'm going find out about how you ran around naked in someone's front yard when you were four?"
She pulls a smile from me. "Quite the opposite. I'm worried she'll grill you and pounce."
A look of sheer determination crosses Penny's face. "Well, then. You'll have to make sure I don't mess up." She swings her gaze up to meet mine. "You'll have to share all your dirty secrets, bad boy."
"I have no secrets. I'm an open book." Except where Penny's concerned. Some secrets are best kept tucked far away. "C'mon. Let's circulate." I play the role of the heir apparent, taking time to introduce Penny to people in my mother's closest circle. Every time, their reaction is the same - eyes briefly go wide, smiles freeze in place, platitudes are offered. Penny takes this as a challenge. When I introduce her to my mother's next-door neighbors, Constance and Wilson Skinner, she winks. "Well, you know, really, I'm just marrying him for his fine, fine ass."
I nearly choke on my drink. "C'mon, dear I see someone else I want you to meet. Constance, Wilson, see you soon."
I take Penny by the elbow and pull her into a corner. "Too much?" she asks, eyes twinkling.
"What do you think?"
"It's obvious what they're all thinking, Stockton."
"So, let them think it. You're not going to change their minds."
"Exactly. So I might as well go for shock value."
"I don't think that's a good idea. We need to stay as low key as possible. If you rock the boat, it will just give my mother an excuse to meddle further. We're supposed to be doing this to keep her out of our hair."
She gives me a Mona Lisa smile that can only mean she's up to no good. Which is confirmed when I introduce her to my mother's best friend of forty years, Cynthia Hyatt.
Thirty minutes later, once the salads have been dropped at the table, the chickens come home to roost. My mother slips into the empty chair across from us, face a picture of horror. She glares at Penny. "Is it true you told Cynthia Hyatt that you're marrying my son for his money?"
Penny smiles and nods, then takes a sip of water, obviously spinning this out. "Mmm-hmm. Stockton's marrying me for my brain. I feel like it's a fair trade. Can you please pass the butter?"
Muffy and my mother exchange a look, then my mother smiles faintly and passes the butter. Underneath the table, I lay my hand on Penny's thigh, just underneath the hem of her skirt. If she's going to be outrageous, so am I. I give her a warning squeeze before my hand slips scandalously higher. Unfortunately, it only seems to egg her on.
"I also told your next-door neighbors that I'm marrying Stockton for his incredibly hot bod." She smiles sweetly. "Do you have any other questions?"
"Young lady, that is not appropriate behavior for an event like this."
Penny stiffens in her seat and her eyes narrow. I hold my breath. I know that look. She's about to unload. "Oh, and by appropriate behavior, you mean that it's okay to lie to someone's face about how happy you are for them, when really, you think they're making the biggest mistake of their life?"
Beside my mother, Muffy gasps.
"Or is it just that you prefer to reserve your ass chewings for martinis over lunch?"
Robert chokes on his wine and covers a smile. My mother shoots him a scathing glance. Penny's not wrong. I don't know how she's pegged my mother, but she has, and it's brilliant.
My mother clears her throat. "I won't deny that I think you're wrong for my son. But he's a grown man, and clearly," she swallows then stares right at me. "He loves you. Who am I to stand in the way of such... devotion?" Her mouth smiles, but her eyes shoot daggers. She doesn't believe what she just said for a second, but she knows when she's lost a battle. A ripple of fear works its way down my spine. My mother is a formidable opponent, but then, so is Penny.
Robert clears his throat. "So tell me about the new pitcher the Kings just signed."
In a blink, we've moved onto safer territory. I send up a silent thank you to Robert and decide to take him for a drink in the near future. With a final squeeze, I remove my hand from its resting place just inside Penny's silky thigh and wrap my arm around her shoulders. "Well, it's all because of Penny's predictive analytics that we've been able to recognize and recruit top talent earlier than our competitors."